in memoriam

People in white stained the roads dragging their feet, their faces covered in tear-soaked handkerchiefs, and skin smoldering against the late morning sun. The sun appeared that day with a smile but they greeted it with nothing but grimaces. The world should’ve stopped but it didn’t. Instead it continued to slither underneath their feet where tears from their sleep-deprived eyes fell and dried away.

They walked on, tailing the vehicle that carried him to his final resting place; distorted faces reflected on its shiny body. Coins littered their paths and the smell of death lingered in the smoke-polluted air they breathed. Songs of lament amplified every ounce of loneliness, draining the hearts, drowning the spirit. It was a long walk. They didn’t know if they want it to end. Every step was a prayer; a knife jabbed in a heart that misses a person so dear and loved. The journey tested the body but every moment of it challenged their grieving spirits.

People leave the earth the same way they came to it-- in ash and dust. As the white coffin got swallowed by the earth, cries pierced the silence that cradled the final moments. It was human grief as palpable as the clouds that stained the deep blue sky. Every jab of a spade, every ounce of soil dug and every flower cast felt like an urge to scream to the heavens in an act to separate the few remaining drops of loneliness from their hearts. Acceptance would come in the right time. Pain is inevitable but bound to fade and for hope to flourish.

The ground leveled and the fresh mound of soil where a rectangular black hole used to be was covered in wreaths and flowers. They started to scatter away as white balloons flew like birds towards the endless heights of the sky. There was no looking back. Hearts felt buried with him. The last songs echoed. And finally, they traversed the vast stretch of green grass towards a new journey. It was the journey home. It’s amazing how grief unites people but most importantly, how they find life in the darkness of death.

The air stood still that day and so are the hearts that promised to miss him forever.

. . .

In Memoriam

RODOLFO “RUDY” AGUILAR
1944-2009

They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.

-- Isaiah 40:29-31

. . .

He was haley's uncle and my friend. She and I will never forget his smile that never seemed to fade...