You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


6.9.16

nomad no more



HAPPINESS. I often wonder if it can be absolute, like love. As if there's no such thing as too much or less of it. It is what it is. Perfect. Full.


But unlike love, happiness is only a feeling, emotion, a room you walk into and leave, sometimes with the door left open. It neither exists on its own nor can it be distilled into its purest form.


So, no.


Happiness is not absolute. Then why does it feel like it is? Right now, right here, as we pull and push for truths in a rhythm set in beats we couldn't understand albeit willing our bodies to act in such yearning haste? If happiness is a place, this is where I am going to live, and stay. Tonight I build a home in that hollow on your neck, achoring myself with an arm under your back, another under a leg, lock it all in a kiss. There is a warmth between us feeding the flame of what's already burning within me, devouring towns, walls, bridges, until there is only us glistening in the dark. But I look into your eyes and suddenly find myself at sea, like a rock tossed mindlessly, disturbing the still surface creating waves, penetrating the shadowy depths. I am a welcomed disturbance and drowning with such ease. And when I can finally breathe, something within me breaks, a string or a glass jar, a beating vital than any organ and you're oblivious to it. My heart is an underground river silently carving its way into anything that does not resemble the happiness I am talking about. Happiness so full, so perfect  it rivals the way my body fits yours, how I cover the whole of your length. No current seeping, no light permeating into the space you have filled in my arms forever locked, and never letting go.









24.8.16

a prose for a smile



YOU have quelled my anxious soul, until there is only lightness, until I'm suspended in space caught between the curl of your lips and the imagined warmth over the stretch of my skin where your last touch had been.









13.8.16

there we had been



WE HAVE BEEN LISTENING to the same song, in secret, beneath sheets of silence, layers of longing under the cover of night wet with rain that we love, that puts out the forest fires of our fears, and muffles the sounds of a heart thrashing, desperately, hidden behind every thunderclap. Listen, my love. Listen to those distant heartbeats. The song will end soon, and your breath in my ear will be the only thing that could lull me to sleep.









24.7.16

the chase



I chase the light that gives colors to the sad sunset. Beautiful as always, forever out of reach. You.









30.4.16

once



THERE IS NO WAY of knowing if the cat is alive or dead because of one simple fact: we did not open the box. There is no such box now, or a cat, or any metaphor that could stand for whatever this is that we have. The comet has already streaked past us, closing out all posibilities, permanently, leaving nothing in its wake but us looking at the night sky, under a different set of stars, thoughts to the same sad epilogue: You and I collided, once. Our paths crossed, but never joined.