You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...

-Walt Whitman


a tease from the 'prince'

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES. the long wait is over and anyone who know the spectacled boy with a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead (playing with his wand. hehe!), is experiencing the same tingling sensation on the spine as i feel right now. i could imagine each and one of them celebrating, screaming (or stifling it and squishing something instead) their lungs out for a glimpse of the most magical movie experience of the year as it spread like an epidemic on the internet and television—the teaser trailer of harry potter and the half blood prince. (kapow!).

after ages and ages of visiting, patiently waiting and looking for the official teaser of the latest of one of the most famous movie franchise in history (ever!), and getting fan-made crappy versions (sorry) of it instead, and visiting forums and various related sites…the official one had finally emerged…rousing in anticipation, muggles and wizard-kind alike…

feast your eyes with this official teaser trailer of the latest movie adaptation of j.k. rowling’s 6th installment; of the seven part series of the pivotal life of harry potter…

i had to watch it several times (i lost count of course). i dwelled on every second of it, squinted on every pixel, trying to catch every detail. i loved how they interpret the containers that hold the memories. they remind me of ampoules—they are made of glass used to contain emergency drugs (i love breaking ampoules. curious because breaking them open boosts my self-esteem in my hospital affiliations. weird. haha!). the young tom riddle was really creepy. his eyes did the trick. if i’m not mistaken, he’s the kid from the ‘omen’. anyway, it’s cool to see marvolo gaunt’s ring. i love how the visual artists interpret tom’s orphanage. really creepy. very fitting for a building to raise the dark lord. what’s really striking about the trailer was the ‘lake scene’ where dumbledore conjures a revolving fire, while standing on a crystal island (the crystals reminded me of superman’s fortress in the north pole. haha!) it’s like the iconic battle between gandalf (sir ian mckellen) and the balrog in the mines of moria. you had to have a background on the lord of the rings trilogy to understand what i’m blabbering about…hehe!

the trailer was so dark…i like it dark. i hope the movie would be darker. i want to see if david yates could surpass himself, considering that he also directed last year’s order of the phoenix (which is my favorite from the movie series, just under alfonso cuaron’s prisoner of azkaban. hehe!) the half-blood prince is my favorite of the book series. it showcases the most tragic ending in my opinion. i had an emotional connection with this one. cried. and i have no plans of telling you why in case you didn’t know that dumbledore died. (oops! hehe!) i just can’t wait to watch it on imax 3d! (wee!) harry potter fanatics out there: i hope to see you in mall of asia, alright? ciao!


confessions of a certified series addict

SERIES ADDICTION. it all started, when my best friend, joy, and i decided to watch an american t.v. series. it was when we still both have cable subscriptions. (she have her own place already but too bad for joy, her landlady won’t allow it. i wonder why?). it was not for long before we got hooked and got addicted with that tv series. ever since we had our television set ‘cabled’ (is that a word? hehe!) i stopped tuning the remote to the local networks. no kapuso nor kapamilya, no local news, no nothing. i felt brainwashed by what cable tv offers. my mind was colonized by the americans (hehe). it got worse when joy and i got tired of waiting for a week for the next episode of the series to be aired, and decided to buy and watch it from a pirated dvd (alright, you can boo me. i’m a criminal. hehe!)—complete from season 1 to 3. no annoying commercials of shampoo, whitening soaps, foot powders, feminine wash, condoms, female napkins...that take 5 minutes or more! but i tell you: watching tv series continuously without commercials, with no time to rest or breathe between episodes, no time to recover from the nail-biting end of the previous episode – i realized how i miss the commercials. good for joy, she’s now enjoying lots of it on her ‘uncabled’ tv set! (har! har!).

anyway, i was a junior student in a medical university when i got hooked. after finishing the addictive tv series with my bestfriend, we had a long time to wait before the next season comes out. three months. that’s why we shifted our attention to other tv series out there! and we got hooked on each and every one of them. dvd marathon on the next level! we watched one after the other…or sometimes two or three at the same time (joy usually does this. i’d rather finish one than start with another. no wonder she’s ‘blind’ already). there came a point when i got so addicted that i barely sleep and watching dvd is the only thing i do everyday, besides, eating, sleeping, breathing, and taking a bath (i brush my teeth too..sometimes..haha! joking!). during those days, i really sleep late. 5 in the morning (that’s really early) and wake up in 1 or 2 in the afternoon. the scorching sun on my bedroom window usually wakes me up, then, i eat, and watch again, then sleep. i was a sloth. one reason why i gained a lot of weight in college. i mean…a lot! wait till you see my high school pictures (hehe!). i am not really a morning person but i had to overcome this to prevent tardiness from messing up my hospital affiliations. i was an owl. i used to go out in the middle of the night to buy extra large ‘burger machine burgers’ (they changed the name to ‘buy one plus one burgers’ to match minute burger’s ‘buy one, take one’ promo. i don’t blame them. the latter is selling burgers like pancakes), complete with cheese and coleslaw and sometimes with sunny-side-up egg. and to match the salty burgers, there has to be a large mug of creamed coffee. all these infront of my fave tv series---hays…like bree van de kamp…just perfect!

moving on, these are ones i have already watched. there is desperate housewives (the secrets of wisteria lane intrigued me, especially the obsessive-compulsive bree van de kamp), 24 (joy didn’t like to watch this one while steph and her family go gaga with it. i love the concept that a whole season happened in just a day), grey’s anatomy (this inspired me to be a surgeon…but reality hurts..hehe! i love sandra oh’s character), house, md (like grey’s anatomy, it stimulated my mind being a medical practitioner. i just love hugh laurie’s acting. he won an emmy for best actor) the o.c. (no comment. i’m just glad marissa died. haha), alias (this is the first series i finished. too bad it didn’t go as far as five seasons. this made me love jennifer garner!), prison break (this one’s recent. one of my favorites but sadly didn’t make my top 3. my bestfriend is head-over-heels with wentworth miller. dream on! haha! her ex love this too. peace tayo, hales!)

it was really strange when no one in school seemed to know what i was talking about when telling them (with full of energy and sound effects) about these tv series. perhaps they had no cable or dvd player i thought (haha! joke!). joy and i shared the same sentiment and we had this very proud feeling that we were the pioneers of american tv series at school. because of constant ramblings about this addiction of ours, our friends started to buy the dvd’s as well…and it spread through out the campus…(haha!)

enough blabbering. here are the ones that topped my charts:

. who would want to miss sarah’s pretty face and her ass-kicking moves, charles ‘chuck’ bartowsky’s geeky humor, morgan’s fixated character, casey’s growls, the power mongering tang aka lord sauron, and the funny antics of the nerd herd at buy more? (haha!). anyway, i don’t want to give anything more away in case you’re interested in watching this one. i, myself hate spoilers, although i’m a big, walking spoiler! (joy didn’t fail to let me now). well, it’s quite obvious why i like this one. it’s a comedy-action series. every episode never failed to make me laugh my heart out! (haha!) anyone needs to laugh or smile once in a while in this miserable world, right? i just love the geeky humor of it…snap!

LOST. who would have thought this one has been hailed the ‘worst tv series’ ever, says one magazine ( i forgot the name), but shame on them because of all the tv series i mentioned so far, this one and house, md, are the only ones who got a decent primetime emmy nomination this year--best drama series. (haha!). but well, i can’t blame them for saying so. the first two seasons formed a lot of questions that were not answered. i too, got frustrated, but it seemed to me that the more i got frustrated, the more curious i got, then, the more i got interested and the more i craved for answers. that i think made it more worth watching. i love mysteries, and i enjoy formulating hypotheses and pondering probabilities of what would happen next, of the reason for a certain phenomena, of what happened between gaps of a timeline. each episode were divided in two parts, the present and a flashback (usually the life of a featured character before the ‘incident’) but in latest season the writers took a daring move. instead of flashbacks, they changed them into flash forwards, which i think formulated more questions! (it broke the timeline and you have to fill the gaps, of course).

imagine yourself on plane that crashed on a seemingly deserted tropical island, with polar bears (aren’t they supposed to be in the south pole? fyi: no polar bears in the north pole), old underground research labs, ‘monsters’, and there’s no way of being rescued. no way out of the island. because one can find the island. you’re lost. you’re stuck with all the mysteries and the looming hostilities. the island is so mysterious i almost wish it is real. anyway, summarizing everything, i love this one because, i think, it’s the most mentally and intellectually-stimulating watch of all.

ONE TREE HILL. surprise! surprise! (if you fail to notice a tree and the logo on my header, lucas scott’s quote on my top sidebar, and the song on my music box. hehe). this is the first tv series i first got addicted to with my bestfriend (yep! the one i told you earlier). this is mainly about a circle of friends attending high school, in tree hill, north carolina. each and one of the characters have different personalities, hence, they have different stories to tell, different perspective on life, love, everything. one thing i love about one tree hill is how the characters are well rounded. the characters are so dynamic and you can bear witness on how they progress or deteriorate as the story goes. i have a personal connection with this tv series. i could relate to what the characters are going through—their fears, their aspirations, triumphs, hesitation, confusion, happiness, sadness…and every episode never failed to inspire me. every story teaches a lesson to learn…every lesson becomes a challenge…and the challenge is how to apply these lessons to my everyday life…lessons about life, love, and everything that a person goes through in a lifetime. of all the characters, i could relate with lucas scott…he’s one confused guy. lost. afraid. he doesn’t know the person he wanted to be. he asks a lot of questions and learns the answers the hard way. but i know he’ll find his way in the end. the immensity of his love scares him, so as the people that tries to love him back.

this series also teach how friendship and family are very important in molding one’s personality. well, this premise is so clichéd already, but people are very forgetful most of the time—looking for things they already have on their pockets, aiming for something that they thought could make them happy but not. people need to remember. people need to be reminded. not necessarily the hard way. it could just be a pirated dvd away…

that’s my top 3 tv series…please…let me know yours. ciao!


excessive body hairs and receding hairlines

I WAS IN CORPORATE ATTIRE. Sleek polo, cream-colored slacks, rusty lopez, shoes, and a gelled hairdo. I was on a job interview that day; that I think didn’t go really well. The interviewer seemed to be uninterested in me but I’d rather say, she’s just bored with her freaking job. I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw a woman jumping from the fourteenth floor of that insular life building in Alabang. Too bad I didn’t (hehe!)

Rejected, I decided to watch “journey to the center of the earth’, in festival mall, with ate cay, who generously accompanied me to the job venue. It was a good watch but it would’ve been great in IMAX 3D. Really cool effects but I daresay, had pretty shallow storyline. it lifted my spirits a little higher though. I am just a sucker for motion pictures (hehe!).

It seemed that we were the only ones who enjoyed the movie. The people seemed apathetic, almost indifferent towards the movie playing on wide screen. I could still remember how heads turned to where we were sitting. It’s an adventure movie! Duh?! We couldn’t help to scream our lungs out. But for the rest of the audience, we seemed to have disrupted their goodnight sleep.

After the movie, we decided to go home, but ate cay needed to buy a Band-Aid. Apparently, her stilettos are having a good laugh for torturing her feet. We went to a drugstore. We decided to have a look around, talking about beauty products and stuff. And then, a demo girl approached ate cay, and gave her a pamphlet. It advertises Regrowe (I’m not sure about the spelling. Hehe!)-- a product to facilitate hair growth, to increase hair volume, and to save people from living miserable lives for having balding heads. Hope it could save me too! (huhu!)

Anyway, the demo girl, offered to have our hairs checked and how their product could help. I give the girl credit for spotting us, me especially. She spotted my receding hairlines like a predator on a prey. (hays) I was really hesitant. It’s fine, really. but at least I want it done on a more private place. I could still imagine myself in corporate attire, with a demo girl all over me, toying with my hair with a probe…in front of everyone else in the mall. The stall was near the entrance of the drugstore. (crap) I remember how customers entered the store, took a glance, and stared straight through my head…ate cay has this indestructible convincing powers (hays). Hate it.

Sitting on a high chair, I waited for what the girl’s about to do. Then, she checked my hair with a probe, which magnifies everything…I mean everything!! (waa!), and everything that the probe sees could be visualized through a small monitor on the stall’s desk. And there it was. With all it’s glory. It’s definitely one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen (human feces and vomit never left the top spots). The scalp, when, magnified looked slimy, as if it’s covered with some mucus substance. So gross. The hair strands looked like some weird, worm-like creatures covered with the same mucus (eew!). I wished with all my heart that I had no head lice. I wouldn’t stand it if one smiled back at me in the monitor…magnified with all its eight legs…

The demo girl started to explain. She told me that most of my hair is healthy…as evidenced by fat hair strands, with small spaces between them. But along the hairlines, the hair strands were a lot thinner and widely spaced from each other. (hays). I told that my condition is brought about by hereditary factors (I didn’t dare tell her I’m a chronic hair gel user. Hehe!), but she told me that their product could still be effective even in such premise. (Well, that’s unlikely. Hehe!)

I was really conscious with my hair for the fact that I’m a ‘kulot’ and it’s really hard to maintain a decent hairdo, so I use gel all the time. But when I get tired of fixing these stubborn curls, I just wear a cap. I thought I look cool with a cap, disregarding the fact that I’m killing my hair. The cap acts like a microwave oven, especially during the hot season. (hehe!)

My body seems to compensate with the significant loss of my hair. I have grown a lot of body hair in many wonderful places (ehem!) that I never failed to amuse people who notice. In high school, I was called ‘hairy potter’ for being hairy and a harry potter fanatic at the same time. I have grown quite a lot of hair especially in my legs and thighs, and to make it more dramatic, they’re curlier than the hair on my balding head (hehe!).

Until now, I don’t know whether having excessive body hair is a good thing or not. I remember the girls in my high school class grossed out at the sight of it, but still insist to have a look. Weird, I thought. They used to tease me for being ‘balbon’. What fascinates me is how girls (and some guys. Haha! Joke!) react when I let them have a look, especially the chest hairs, and the infamous ‘karug’ (the hair between the belly button and the pubic area) I have a lot of really close girl friends and I let some of them take a look and hear their comments (suggestions, or violent reactions! Haha). One said its gross, with her eyes on her hands (in the attempt to see, but just a little. Like watching horror movies huh? Hehe). The other seemed undecisive, but with a shy, malicious look on her face. and another girl, this time with a longing look. She seemed happy and a little aggressive (I actually thought she would tear my pants off with aggression! Haha!). But whatever! I still consider being a ‘balbon’ an asset!

So there are my hair dilemmas…I just wish to have a job soon so I could buy that regrowe product. 60 mL of it costs 700 mL just good for half a month because I have to use it twice a day. it depends on the severity of the hair’s condition according to the demo girl, so mines a little bit severe I guess…hehe! Ciao!


R.N. Berania, R.N.

I PASSED THE BOARD EXAMS! i still can’t believe it. unbelievable. i am now a registered nurse. it’s nice to see that two letters sitting comfortably at the end of my name. i don’t know what to feel really. it was just so sudden. i think it will take a few moments for the news to sink in, perhaps after i finish writing this entry.

it was around eleven in the evening when i received the text message from ate glai…

congratz ron! you made it. same as steph. hooray! –te glai
sent: 10:52:22 pm

and then, there i was, holding the cellphone in my hand…staring at it…i had to read it again…(i could imagine my blank face right now)…and again…and again…i just have to. “is this what i think it is?” i told myself. then it just hit me. this is it. the moment i have feared and anticipated for almost two months. the moment of reckoning had come. i stood there. frozen. hovering. our dogs were barking, breaking the silence of the starry night. and then it came…the adrenaline rush. i will not be surprised to see my dilated. my heard was pumping against my chest and up my throat. my throat felt dry. i had to drink. then, i felt like i floated towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. i couldn’t even feel the cold billowing from opening it. a pause. and i drank a glass of water. i had my cell phone with me. i didn’t dare putting it down. an impulse came through me. i just have to read it again…one more time…there was another message:

from: maan
congrats r.n. na tau…pumasa tau ng board…thnks to god.
sent: 11:14:03 pm

and it confirmed it. i passed, unless of course, people decided to ‘punkd’ me. i am glad there are no text messages that followed saying “april fools!” i’m glad its nearly august (hays). i don’t know but my mind seemed to stop. i walked back to the door where i came from and stood there. just letting it all in. breathing the cool night air in the hope that it will sink in as i take each breath…


i forgot that i was watching the television. national geographic’s ‘what if’ was airing. i sat on the sofa and tried to watch. at first i couldn’t understand a thing. there were people wearing white blazers talking about something i couldn’t understand, till i noticed that they’re making giant balloons, making glass using a microwave oven, shooting cameras with a gun, destroying cellphones using man-made lightning, testing the efficiency of a paint gun with a bent barrel, and experimenting--if a high free fall of car could make it explode into flames (just like what happens in action movies).

i could still feel my heart against my chest. i stood up and back to the front door. i put my hands in my face and walked from the door to the kitchen and back again…and again…how many times i did it i do not know…my mind just seemed to fly. positive anxiety had taken me. i decided to text ton and haley--the last 2 pesos of my load. my stomach gave an ominous lurch. i had to use the comfort room. when i’m finished, nanay was sitting on the sofa, watching abs-cbn’s s.o.c.o. i spilled the beans without hesitation. she smiled and clapped her hands. even by the dim lights of the living room i could tell she’s happy. at the back of my head, how i wished i didn’t know that she was crying in her room earlier this afternoon, and that i got the news tomorrow morning instead, so that i could shout my lungs out for joy…for nanay. but it’s late at night. i didn’t wish to wake people up.

i checked my inbox again:

from: …(“,)…
oh my gosh to the maximum level! super congrats! J im so happy 4 u J it’s really worth going there..:)
sent: 11: 17:24 pm

crap…i was not able to load…it could’ve been nice to share this moment with someone…with you…

from: haley james
congrats po, rn. :)
sent:12:52:51 pm

thanks you very much!!


i did it. i passed the boards. all the sleepless nights, headaches and stress i have gone through, in preparation for the boards, were all worth it, not to mention the grueling four years of my college life as a nursing student…(hays)…that would mean no thick medical books, vomit-stained photocopies, lectures in powerpoint and word, and the monotonous q&a guy on my mp3 player…but there will still be coffee though (hehe).

i remembered the two grueling days i have to suffer in taking the board exam--the toxicity of it, the ‘microwave rooms’, the doubts and lack of confidence on my answers (thanks to colostomy, imci, and management!)…i am proud of myself for overcoming them all and be at this moment. i can’t wait to wake up in the morning, and check the internet for my name, or perhaps in the morning paper. (waaaa!)…i am so psyched right now…

however, i just passed a test. there’s still a lot of things ahead to go through. and i can’t wait for what’s in store for me out there. besides, life is full of infinite possibilities.

i thank the lord for helping me although out this endeavor.

congratulations to all the new rn’s of 2008! (weee!). to those who didn’t pass, well, i do hope in my heart, you nail it next time…just keep the faith…


'a new day' one night

THE OLD MAN CAME TO OUR PLACE AGAIN. the neighborhood knew him as mang vic. he always comes here to repack ‘kasoy’ seeds that he sells in the market. he don’t have a convenient place to do it, i guess and maybe because there’s generous people here that could help him (not me though. hehe!). in spite of the old age, as evidenced by his white hair and slowed, limping gait, i could say that he’s an intelligent and wise man. he talks about a lot of things, especially about foreign stuff. i wonder if he’s ever gone abroad. i was watching the television when he entered the sitting room, and out of thin air, talked about celine dion, or at least one her concerts. he talked about how prestigious the concert was and how he never failed to play celine’s dvd on his component. i was surprised but rather amused. old people have a very curious way of sharing their thoughts. it’s like listening to a very familiar fairy tale.

celine dion has been one of my favorite artists ever (gosh. that is so gay. hehe!), but i set her aside from my playlist for a long time now, since i got acquainted with alternative music. alternative music owned my ears and i love it. it dominated celine’s and all those songs in pop genre. my craving for it intensified when i got addicted to american tv series, especially one tree hill (my all-time favorite!), the o.c., and smallville.

anyway, mang vic offered to bring the dvd for us to watch, with a gleam of enthusiasm on his wrinkled face. i nodded, but in the back of my mind, i couldn’t care less if he brings it or not for the fact that it’s celine…duh?! (hehe!)

the next day, when i got home, later that evening, from...(somewhere i’d rather talk about next time)…i chilled in the sitting room till i felt that i sat on something flat on the sofa. and there she was—celine on stride, wearing a short, sparkly dress, with her small mouth wide open, and raising an arm in attempt to seduce people with her flawless pit. (haha!). her concert dvd was entitled ‘a new day’. the concert took place in caesar’s palace, the infamous performing arts theatre in las vegas, nevada. i dreamed of going there sometime and watch the ‘cirque du soleil’ perform their stunning and jaw dropping acrobatic acts! (haha!). four years, celine conquered the palace. four years. that’s a very long time. and a part of me hopes if i could just sit on one of its comfy seats, and watch the show. just one show of all the nights she performed there for four years…

i already watched the dvd…twice. and you can’t blame me, for i consider it as the best concert i have ever witnessed, either live or on the television... i’ll tell you why…:)

celine’s vocal masterclass. her voice never failed to amuse me. her voice just soared. even though she had a cold, the way she controlled her voice was really incredible. i noticed that her voice wasn’t that powerful as before (age factor i guess) but the way she attacks the notes, is simply superb. she used her vocal techniques very well. she could make them soft and tender to freaking high and powerful. she’s the ultimate performer, with her unique body movements and humor every performance became emotional for what the songs require.

the graceful dancers. i am quite familiar with some types of dancing because i have been watching the reality show ‘so you think you can dance?’ and during the auditions, there were a lot of contemporary dancers. but i have never watched that kind of dancing performed in such immense scale. contemporary dancing is very curious thing to watch mainly because of the unusual movements. but the dancers were successful to support celine's voice. they move in a very theatrical way. i applaud their acting and how they got into character for each numbers. i they are not just dancers. i consider them as brilliant actors as well. i enjoyed watching the 'white guy' and 'the butler'. they supported the performences very well.

the stunning visuals. perhaps this one is what mesmerize me the most. the background projected on a wide wide screen created the magic. the background visual was able to transport the audience to what the song's concept offers. my favorite parts were when there were performers suspended in mid air. imagine a piano floating in midair carried by two men, giant portraits with dancing occupants suspended high above the stage, flying lamposts, winged girls on swings, giant chandeliers and musical instruments, a bride floating across a very big moon, and my favorite, a guy riding a bicycle slowly acrooss the stage, suspended in midair, lights on against a starry background, while a lampost is lifted towards the sky. (wee!) reminds me of the iconic scene in e.t. the lighting was flawless and everything is perfectly coordinated. This is one of my favorite numbers entitled 'if i could'. watch out for the guy on the bicycle...(hehe)

the great music. the songs were artistically arranged. they were arranged to have a quite lengthy introduction while the dancers perform (and give time for celine to change her costume and do her make-up. gosh. celine was 'toxic' backstage! hehe!). the live music was fantastic. i could imagine myself hearing from inside the caesar's palace's undoubtedly wicked acoustics! i loved the violin and the flute! it sounded perfect up until the last note in the credits.

the perfect venue. celine dion singing with brilliant dancers, stunning visuals, great music, on a giant stage in one of the most prestigious theater in world. whew! caesar's palace is so big. the balconies were very high, reaching up to the ceiling. the seats are in velvety red color. it reminded me of the paris opera house, with red seats and gold statues and decorations everywhere. and the stage--one of the biggest stage i've seen. where could you get 60 or more dancers to perform? (hehe)

it was a magical night and i give credits to franco dragone who created the whole thing...and the guys behind the camera. i did an awesome job! hope you could watch it... even if you're not a celine fan. hehe! i still can't believe that my dad enjoyed watching it too! (hehe!)

I hope I could watch her live though…(hays)


how m. night made it 'happen'

SPOILER WARNING for those who were not able to watch m. night shyamalan’s latest movie—the happening. It was a very curious movie to watch, most especially because m. night wrote, produced, and directed it (he was in the movie too, as Joey, the mysterious guy calling the lead actress in the first few minutes of the movie. Haha!).

I love m. night’s movies, especially ‘the lady in the water’ and ‘the village’. Unfortunately, he also directed one of my least favorite—the signs (I just can’t understand why he chose to make a movie about aliens. Very classic yet disappointing).

Anyways, the movie really captivated me, even by just watching the trailer. Who could resist watching people jumping off buildings, a lady plunging a stick on her neck, people blowing their brains out using the same hand gun, a man feeding himself willingly to a bunch of lions in a zoo, a guy lying on the grass waiting to be run over by a giant lawnmower, a girl jumping off from her bedroom window, people hanging themselves on trees using electric cables, a guy slitting his wrist, a man driving his owner truck straight against a tree, and an a paranoid old lady banging her head against the walls and windows of her house till she dies. Very entertaining huh? (hehe)

Yeah…it’s mainly about people who commit suicide…and die. It’s really almost traumatic, watching people do these disturbing acts. But these are exactly what made this movie worth watching. Like most horror movies and thrillers, people just can’t get enough of them. Probably, because of how these visually-stimulating movies excites them, and stir their feelings of fear, despair, and anxiety. It’s quite weird really. It seems like people want to be scared. They enjoy having these kinds of extreme emotions. They like to jump on their seats in utter surprise, make their heart race, have goose bumps, and bite their nails in anxiety of the doom that will surely happen as the movie unfolds before their very eyes. They wouldn’t consider a horror movie a good one without feeling that familiar squirm in the stomach in the sight of blood or the anticipation of the ominous thing that will surely come.

‘The happening’ for me was a good watch for the fact that it made me think and ask questions…all hour and twenty minutes of it. But in the end my questions, were never answered, that is why I find this different from all m. night’s movies—questions like what really caused the phenomenon and why the people killed themselves (the storyline says it’s caused by neurotoxins released by plants, but there was no hard evidence to support this in the end), why the ‘happening’ only occurred on a small part of the United States and why that particular area (a small area of the north-east part of the country is only affected. But in the epilogue, it also finally happened abroad. In France if I am not mistaken), why it targeted smaller populations, what makes an individual susceptible to the phenomena (some people are affected, some are not, even if they’re on the same vicinity), and why it stopped abruptly. These are the most vital questions and yet, the answers were non-existent, hanging. And it’s very curious why m. night let that happen.

I have come to the conclusion that m. night didn’t plan to emphasize these vital parts. He left it hanging for people to formulate their own explanations about it. And most importantly, he seemed to emphasize on human emotions and behavior rather than to answer the questions behind the story. He wanted to capture how people behave when faced with the unknown, and how they find their way in the end. And I think this is what makes it in-essence with the other movies he directed. Most of his movies are fictional, and deals with the unknown and fantasy, but he makes it to a point that it’s still for real…makes the viewers believe that what the movie offers is true, not necessarily the facts, but how he still manage to make them real to the audience. His movies are very insightful. ‘The happening’ attempts to point out ethico-moral issues, mainly environmental. He tries to point out that the phenomenon is the result of the plants’ evolution and vengeance against the human race for its maltreatment of plant life on our planet. It also briefly discussed the disappearance of bees, and how this may affect life on earth. If bees become extinct, plants will have a hard time to reproduce, and that would mean starvation for mankind, since plants are our major food source since the beginning of time.

I recommend watching this film...but i will not be surprised if you don't like it. (hehe) Some of my friends who have already watched it say the same thing...the ending sucked! (haha).


deciphering words, painting thoughts

IT’S ONE O’CLOCK ON MY TIMEX and i’m on the verge of dozing myself off to sleep…but i decided to articulate what’s buzzing in my mind right now…besides i won’t be able to sleep if i didn’t…

i was looking for some documents in my closet…the always clean, and organized closet (hope you’re getting the sarcasm), when i decided to go through the stuff in its upper compartment--those stuff behind a very familiar painting. it’s been hanging there, on that same spot for awhile…quiet…watching…but indifferent on everything that happens within the four walls of my pale pink-colored room (my elder sister used to sleep here)…the painting that mean a lot to me…and very significant…once upon a time. but i never failed to look at it every day as it never failed to make me remember…two people.

i always admired that painting, the simplicity of it, the water-washed colors that seem to dance on the canvas, behind a glass. it’s dusty now. that means i have to clean my room already. the painting still remains today, to have a very cryptic message. besides of that majestic mountain rock, the green and blue seas, and the multicolored skies…nothing is more controversial about it than the two birds in the painting. for what ever it is, i am pretty sure it’s a love story in there. a love story that is, sadly, unwritten…never happened…lost. but the painting remains a remembrance of what could have been, like the fantasy world it portrays. whenever i look at it, one thing flashes into my mind. the same thing...always--a perfect moment where, i stand on a bridge over a crystal-clear water, troubled by a mild rain, that makes everything seem dreamy…i could see the ripples as drops of water break its surface…everything seems like an illusion…of course it is, for it is just a mere thought. a dream that never happened…but hoped for. the green surroundings seem to sparkle…i feel happiness, including my heartbeat…i feel alive, just standing there on that bridge, holding in my arms, the same girl who gave me that painting…yeah…it’s a dream…and it’s on my wall for a very long time now…

i set aside the painting, opened the closet, and retrieved a square box. there are letters. a lot of letters. from friends. from special someones. for me. and i read them…one by one…and suddenly i felt nostalgia—that familiar bittersweet feeling everytime i go down memory lane. reading them makes me remember what i was, and who i was, five years ago…i can’t help but smile to the childish humors…the innocence…the simplicity of life back then…the optimism…and the youthful spirit that couldn’t be dampened by virtually almost anything. until i read one particular letter…it was from glad…(a letter she gave me on our retreat back in high school), a small yellow piece of paper folded in a certain way. the way it was folded was really remarkable…they were always folded that way, and usually placed on a fancy envelope…sometime, she used a piece from a folder and cut the sides in a manner that reminds me of picket fences of suburban households. one time she used a piece from a brown envelope, burned the sides, and wrote my name on the cover using white poster color. she also used construction paper, cut and folded in a very artistic way. you will ask yourself, ‘how the hell did she do that?’ on some occasions though, she had them typewritten (she said her hands were aching), or in the form of hallmark cards. her handwritten didn’t change a bit. it was and is in those simple slanting letters. i could still remember seeing that particular handwriting on a piece of paper from a test questionnaire, saying ‘i miss you’.

arts brought me and glad together. give her a colored paper and a pair of scissors, and prepare yourself to be amazed. i could still remember how she turned a bunch of seemingly useless, ugly, potato sacks into a fancy christmas tree. i always thought that the immensity of her art made up for the smallness of her hands…

i find it really curious for remembering each and one of her letters she gave me. i just saw one--the small yellow piece of paper…but everything flashed back…the way they looked, when they were given, the words in them…but, ironically, i can’t remember where they are now…i searched for them, but i couldn’t find them. they were lost. i lost them…just the way i lost myself.

i remembered that she also gave me a keychain--a piece of rectangular wood, with a sticker bearing a verse from the bible. i remember writing, on the back of it, our korean names. one day, i freaked out for thinking that i lost my bag back in high school. i am not fussed about the bag though, but the keychain, on one of its zippers. i was so protective of it…but still…i lost it…along with everything else…

i could still remember the day, when she looked me in the eyes and gave me back the books i wrote for her including my diary. it was a very fine afternoon. the sun is smiling back at us…mocking me…my heart was broken…my heart that is supposedly not to hurt anymore. i read them when i got home, back in my room, before the indifferent painting. as i read, i tried to imbibe everything i wrote for her…and it struck me. the guy who wrote those words was so in love…the corniness of it…the romance…the passion…the innocence…the hope…the faith…the belief in forever…and the promise of a true love. it felt like reading someone else’s writing. it was not me…the words are not mine. it was written by the guy on that bridge, happy, with the love of his life…i miss that guy…and the one he truly loved—the two people immortalized by the dusty painting in my very disorganized pink-colored room…


rainy days, frozen hearts

IT HAS BEEN RAINING all day…without cease. it feels like it could go on forever. but the familiar feeling didn’t stop either. the welcoming feeling of being at ease and the tempting aura of the surroundings gave me that constant mixed emotion.

i miss the sun already--its warmth and how it could make almost everyone happy, or at least, hopeful. i could just see the sun hanging just above the canopy of trees. just there. lazily hovering, giving its faint and misty glow against the dark clouds that eagerly try to hide it. it is ghostly when you look at it actually.

from my bedroom window, the angry skies--colors of black, grey, and purple swirls as if telling everyone that something bad is going to happen. something wicked is churning behind the clouds. an ominous sign. i hope not. there is that creepy silence. the calm before the storm. the cold wind blows steadily, but not hard though. it blows smoothly, like spirits, whispering words only few would understand. like flowing water cascading to the open sea. i love the way it touches my bare skin, and make my hair stand, but i love it more when i breathe it in…for it is like breathing you.

the rain usually reminds me of someone. someone special. those who know me would probably think of the same person. but this time, i am thinking of someone else. seasons change as the weather, as the trees change their colors til the time they shed them. nothing is permanent except change. the same goes with the heart.

the rain echoes what i feel inside right now. i could now hear it make their angry sound against the tin roofs, the sound they make against my window and against the ground as they fall, meeting their end. they are music to my ear. those familiar sounds tend to lull me into a deep slumber. and the drops of rain curtains everything, making the world look misty, hazy, giving it a dream-like appearance…as if i am walking into a dream…someone else’s dream.

it’s unbelievably sad now, and cold. really cold. i feel consumed by it. i feel like i want to get lost in it. something about it is numbing. something about it could make you forget, and escape. i miss you so much but the rain, and the wind, and the setting sun overcame me. it knocked my heart cold. i am not surprised to see it frozen right now.

a series of flashing lights goes off, like i am being photographed by papparazzis. then came the rumbling sounds of thunder, disturbing the air and making the skies look angrier, making me scared a little. i am scared. i just hope the cold days would be over soon. i don’t want to feel this absolute cold, which tears straight through me and down to my heart. not anymore. i wish the rain would stop for i don’t want you to feel cold too. i don’t want you to get sick like i did, few days ago. i just want to hug you right now…as tight as i possibly could. that’s the one thing i’d want to do at this very moment…for it is the only thing, i think, that could save my heart from faltering…and eventually from breaking into tiny cold pieces.

i miss you.


here comes the day of reckoning

FIVE DAYS TO GO till the most feared and anticipated day of the year, at least for those who took ‘the’ board exams last june. as a bachelor degree holder in nursing, i took up the licensure examinations last june 1 and 2 in tup, manila. and now the wait is ending the way i never expected it to. . .july 20, Sunday…interesting weekend…

the clock is ticking…counting down….the anxiety levels are shooting up. . .’everybody’ is thinking of the best way to know whether he or she passed the grueling two days of examinations. and i still can’t believe it’s really this soon…because I thought it wouldn’t be released until late august or early September this year. excitement could be felt anywhere…a nervous excitement. confusing really, because almost everyone is confused of how will they face that day where a lot will be decided. the sacrifices, the sleepless nights, the personal struggles, dreams—a lot is at stake, and it will unfold in five days time…it’s an inevitable moment. the moment of truth. even me, i couldn’t fathom of how the day will unfold for me. actually there is a part of me that is scared. afraid. somehow i feel that it is best for my ego not to know. i recalled the saying, ‘what you don’t know couldn’t hurt you.’ quite true. but not this time.

i have to know. it’s just plain stupid not to know. I can’t hover and do nothing. perhaps i’m just so anxious and scared for what the results will have for me. if i didn’t pass, i’ll be disappointed, of course, perhaps, depressed, but i’ll have to try and pass it again, right? that would mean sleepless nights again, drowning myself into piles and piles of medical books (thick as they could possibly be), lecture photocopies (some already unreadable and some with sick on them), charts (duh?), audio q&a (not the monotonous voice again!?) and strong coffee (the best part of it all) to make sure i wont sleep and slob around. if i pass, then, that would mean i’m gonna be working. period. i can’t stay at home any longer. i feel like i’m going nuts already. if i pass, i’ll have to set aside my plans to work, in call and tutorial centers. goodbye, easy money. (hehe!). what i mean by this, is that the board results this coming sunday would be a turning point of what the rest of the year will be for me, and i speak also for those who have the same sentiment. (hays)

i could now feel the anticipation. it’s really strange that no one speaks about it. seems everyone had gone into radio silence perhaps in a desperate attempt to alleviate their personal anxieties. not talking about it seems the most convenient way to do so, just like refraining from talking about your ex-girlfriend after a really bad break-up. i don’t even want to talk about it at all…i mean verbally…because it would make everything real. am i making sense? for me, i’m just going to enjoy the remaining days and let the time pass…and let it be. but in the back of mind, questions are reeling…will i choose to know by looking into the morning’s broadsheet? or just use the internet? or wait for a few days? (right. this is a stupid option) but one thing is for sure. i’ll have to turn my cellphone off when the day of reckoning comes. i wouldn’t let anyone send me messages telling me i passed or worse, i failed. i have to know it on my own, in my own terms, in the right time, meaning when i am ready to fail. (hays) i just can’t be optimistic right now. i am a pessimist, i know that. and people points this out a lot…one reason the results day pressures me somehow, altogether, with all the pressure in my life right now…

i am really pressured right now primarily of what people will say if i fail the examinations. i know it’s wrong to think that way. a lot would say i did my best and that i shouldn’t think about other people, but people and circumstances gets to me very easily. i was a student achiever in my school, because i was top of my class, and of my batch. i graduated with flying colors, and i have very proud friends and families. i would be really heart-breaking to disappoint those people that matters to you, who counts on you to pass, who thinks you’re almost ‘invincible’. but i am not. i couldn’t understand why it is so hard for people to see that…to see through me…that beyond the façade is a struggling being. ordinary. Just ron. i have a constant feeling of mediocrity and inadequacy, and i think those are the things that pull me down. i guess it’s all in the mind. i still surprise myself sometimes for even though i have negative feelings for what i do, i still stand out…i hope the same thing is applicable and would happen to the upcoming results day…i am anticipating to surprise myself…in the most positive way, i hope.

five days to go, and i hope there’s a way to escape the anxiety and all. but there is none. i guess i’ll have to face it, head raised, and proud…and i say this also for those who sacrificed a lot and for those who give everything they could to pass…to those who rose above themselves and gave their best shot…


the reason behind the dormancy

IT STOPPED RAINING and i feel lot better now. i could actually feel the air fill my lungs again, smell the musty smell of my room (which i don’t miss at all), get lost in the familiar taste of my favorite creamed coffee, not to mention that feel great now because i just had a decent bath moments ago. i really felt my body crusting with ‘libag’ already and my body is developing pruritic rashes, that’s why a cold bath is something i have been craving for so much. i have missed a lot of things. i have missed the things i usually do. my daily routine was in chaos, thanks to my ‘sickness’, i was not able to do a lot of things lately except get irritated, whine, and drink water…

i was sick for five days. almost a week. it all started with a sneeze (they all start with this, right?), followed by another sneeze, then two more after that. the sneezing goes on till it made my nose to flare. my little sister never failed to notice while singing “rudolph, the rednosed reindeer”. bless me. it’s not for long before i developed watery discharge from my nose. anyway i am used to it, because i always suspected myself for having allergic rhinitis. my nose is very sensitive to any irritant, so sneezing is just part of my everyday routine, not to mention the ‘allergic salute’. i use to pinch my nose with my index finger and thumb to scratch away the itchiness. i am used to doing it that it actually became one of my infamous mannerisms, as my friends pointed out. i have also learned that people who does this unconsciously maybe ‘sexually preoccupied’. (hmm…hehe!).

the next day, i woke up with a headache, and i started to cough and bark like a dog! (arf!arf!). this was a bad sign because that meant i already developed an upper respiratory infection that spread down to my throat causing the cough. it was very hard to sleep that night. counting sheeps is rendered ineffective. music couldn’t rock me off to sleep because it worsens my now pounding headache. i couldn’t sleep because it was very hard for me to breath. my nose is congested and my cough had gone worse. i am irritated by the sticky feeling of mucus slowly flowing down my nose that i had to stand up and blow my nose, over and over again (this, of course, is the wrong way to do it. blowing the nose over and over again may cause trauma to the nasal passages that could cause bleeding or laceration. fyi: medical practitioners, like me, make the worst patients. hehe!). i had to make my breathing shallow because deep breathing irritates the lining of my lung passages forcing me to cough again. (hays). lack of sleep won me a pair of very large and very gray-colored eyebags(woohoo!), two pus-filled pimples, and prolonged fatigue.

my condition got worse the next day, because then i developed fever. fever was the most common symptom i have experienced through the four years of my nursing education. i find this symptom very easy to manage, especially in the clinical setting. just let the patient rest, give him a tepid sponge bath (i mastered this already), give a dose of antipyretic drug (paracetamol is commonly used), encourage patient to increase oral fluid intake (2-3 liters of fluid a day will do), advise loose clothing (don’t let the patient use pajamas, sweaters, nor blankets, to let body heat escape), and maintain proper environmental ventilation (fan the patient to ‘blow away’ the heat).

i realized, when you’re sick, these principles are much harder to apply when caring for yourself than when you’re caring for others. i felt so cold that i placed my self under a thick blanket. (hehe!) it was very hard to monitor your oral fluid intake since i was very weak to get water, and somehow, i don’t feel thirsty at all. there must be a problem with my tongue. most sick people have, i guess. every food i take tastes like carpet. i couldn’t taste them. sometimes, i found them rubbery against my teeth, and very difficult to swallow, together with a small amount of mucus from my pharynx (one advantage of having taste problem when being sick). even beverages taste bitter. (hays).

i have managed to control my temperature down but it always shoot up again after six hours. this continued for the next two days. i was still struggling to have a decent sleep, my eyebags continued to swell, my pimples continued to shine with their glorious red-and-yellow color, the food continued to taste nothing. i am like chewing invisible food (eg. lugaw with egg, rice with egg, siopao, noodles, etc.). i am growing weak, irritated, bored.

one thing i hate about being sick, is being bored. for five days, i was just in my bed, trying to sleep, but unsuccessful, of course. i don’t want to get bored. i am not used to stay in one place for a long period of time. i couldn’t watch my favorite tv series, write my blog for the day, listen to music, do my ‘hip hop abs’ aerobics, read ‘harry potter and the deathly hallows’ for the 2nd time, nor text my friends.

since i got sick, i was not able to contact my friends for two reasons: one, i am financially challenged, and two, i am too weak to send and reply to any messages. but i am so grateful to those who still remembered and asked how i am doing even if i failed to contact them. there is a hundred contacts in my phonebook but only a handful remembered me. (you know who you are. hehe!).

i had myself checked in a clinic. i had some blood tests and i had my urine checked. it turned out my blood is concentrated due to abnormally elevated hemoglobin levels. it also showed bacterial infection as manifested by increased segmenters in my blood. also, i was diagnosed with urinary tract infection, for having 15-20/hpf of pus cells in my urine. i am not alarmed though. doses of antibiotics (‘norfloxacin:50 pesos per tablet twice a day for 7 days, ‘acnex forte’: 8 pesos per capsule, thrice a day for 5 days. do the math! huhu!) and 3 liters of water intake should do the trick.

now i feel a lot better although i still feel a little queasy. i am just thankful that i am still here, and because there are just worse things that could happen to me. it stopped raining here. i better start the day with renewed spirit.


on the other side of the divide: deconstructing north korea

I WAS WATCHING TELEVISION ONE AFTERNOON. it was a documentary from a familiar channel: the national geographic. i have always loved watching from this channel. it makes me realize that there are so many things i have yet to know, to learn. it was a very informative watch. but i have never prepared myself for what i have or for what had unfolded before me while i ate my breakfast one afternoon. i do not know why i still find it disturbing…

the documentary was entitled ‘inside: undercover in north korea’. the national geographic team poses as film-makers to document how a nepalese surgeon operates on a thousand blind patients. in the end, and they were able to make a gripping story of a world we will never dream to live in.

north korea is one of the most isolated countries in the world. no wonder there are very few facts about it that i know. i didn’t even remember that korea is separated from north and south either-the separation that reverberates a dark story till now. my high school social studies professor told me that its capital was pyongyang. besides that, i could not remember anything factual about the country. i love geography as i love the taste of coffee on a rainy day, and i realized my social studies professor didn’t elaborate about that country. now i know why.

north korea is an “intelligence blackhole.” no information from the outside could get inside the country or vice versa. foreign information is banned. there are no cellphones, no internet. written publications are controlled by the state, including radio, television, and other forms of media. imagine watching movies and television, reading books, and listening to music all about north korea (duh?). some of the inhabitants didn’t even know that man had landed on the moon. foreigners, are strictly followed and observed by “minders”, people that sees to it that foreigners won’t do any ‘bad deeds’ while they are in the country. these measures are evidence of the country’s ongoing hostility towards foreigners, especially americans. traveling to other parts of the country requires you to have a permit. only those most loyal leaders to the state travel the country freely. imagine long stretching highways with barely any cars, no nothing. gives me the creeps. Reminds me of resident evil. (hehe!)

it is interesting to know that this country now houses the 4th largest army in the world and a platoon of nuclear warheads. it may be isolated but it doesn’t mean they are technologically inferior. the operations are done in full secrecy and organized execution. now north korea is a threat to world peace and could make itself visible to the rest of the world in the worst way possible.

everything in north korea is not as it seems. it only shows its best face to the world. there was a propaganda made to make south koreans defect into the country. there was a village built in one place of the country with high-class-looking-houses with a towering flagpole-the highest in the world. but beware. the houses are only facades. they maybe good looking but they are hollow on the inside. one movie published is about a family, and how luxurious they live: with extravagant meals, lucrative jobs. everything seemed perfect, but really, it’s quite the opposite.

besides, its political power in warfare, north korea seems to be a very miserable place to live in. a ghost town. people die here and there. thousands of people go blind here due to lack of basic health and medical facilities. cataracts usually develop among elderly people, but here, even children go blind due to malnutrition and poor health care delivery. there are doctors but they remain incompetent because they don’t know how to use the medical equipments: another result of the country’s isolation to any external information. the hospitals didn’t even have electrical power to do surgeries, i.v. bottles are in the form of soda containers. operating room tables are crusted with blood and smells like rotten meat. this health condition is unacceptable to the point that it’s considered inhumane and cruel. there are no stable jobs for the people. there’s nothing the government could offer them but misery.

but escaping, or ‘defecting’ would mean suicide. there are people who are desperately willing to risk their lives to escape, but most are afraid, helpless, or i daresay just brainwashed. the 38th parallel divides the country to north and south. below the 38th parallel, there are troops of the joint american-south korean soldiers to protect the boundary. but the other side of the divide tells another story. above the 38th parallel is the dmz or demilitarized zone. it is guarded by millions of north korean soldiers. it is full of landmines, and an electric barricade that runs along the boundary. anyone who dares to cross or defect through the dmz is good as dead, so refugees prefer the longer boundary in the north to china.

one of the disturbing facts about this is that it feels like it was ‘the holocaust’ all over again. back then, under the rule of adolf hitler, and rise to power of the nazi regime, approximately 22 million jews were slaughtered in concentration camps. in north korea, the families of those who betrayed the country or those who defected are sent to a particular concentration camp in pyongyang. the camp now houses 50,000 people. like that of the concentration camps back in the holocaust, entry to one of these is certain death. when you enter, there’s no coming out, either you die of disease or you’re murdered. this is one of the main reasons why most people are afraid to show the slightest resistance to the state.

few people know that north and south korea are still at war. there was never a peace treaty when the war raged between them years ago. it was considered the longest cease-fire in history. kim il-sung tried to unify the country before, but the americans, who have been fighting the spread of communism had won the south. that’s why north koreans are still hostile to americans because they blame them for having the country divided into north and south, hence, the 38th parallel.

kim jong-il, the country’s god-dictator, has absolute power over the country. i can’t help it but to compare him to the infamous nazi leader, adolf hitler. he has the power to do anything. he never listens to anyone. another, reason why i find this so disturbing is that he is literally worshipped by the people. you must bow and praise him whenever you see a picture of him. no foreigner is allowed to lie infront of any image of him or you get punished or deported out of the country immediately. people cry when they talk about him, saying that he gave them life, saying that without him, they are nothing. even those blind people healed in the surgeries, worshipped him like a true god, bowing and shouting praises. i could actually feel my hairs stand at the sight of it.-people raising their hand in the air, screaming the name of the dictator at the top of their lungs and saying “we praise you!” over and over again.

what’s so surprising about this is still they manage to worship him even though he doesn’t care about them as evidenced by their miserable lifestyle under his regime. the people lack any luxury from any imported or foreign goods, while he collects cars and buys the most expensive wine out there. perhaps another factor for this is that starting from childhood, children are taught to respect and worship the dictator, and they carry it until they grow old. but i think about those who wanted to defect and those who are doomed to die in the concentration camp. this time, it is really confusing. whom among those who worship the dictator has true belief or on the other hand just an unrelenting fear, forcing them just to conform to what others are doing others? i realized that true belief and true fear is just the same here in north korea. I am not sure, but the documentary thought me that you will never understand north korea unless you, yourself, experience it.

(Visit for the complete documentary and related videos)


blog beginnings

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. i mean its been ages since i wrote my last blog entry. a lot has happened and for a perfectionist like me (unfortunately, i am), it's a bummer that i wasn't able to write anything from the most memorable experiences of the past days, months.

i am the type of person that don't want to miss anything when writing something. i mean i want to capture the moment as they unfold, as each moment creates that familiar feeling of elation when you describe how you feel and how readers relate to the story you make. and even for some weird reason your story becomes their story.

i was a blog addict...that was before our internet was disconnected. i am a nursing student who fancies being a surgeon, and a writer, and a singer, and a member of the mafia (nah!). as a student my mind was very active about stuff around me. am intellectually stimulated by everyday happenings and how it affects me...and those who could relate and get affected too (like there is. haha!).

anyway, i am a melodramatic writer. i want to write blogs as dramatic as they could possible be. my mind use to reel with adjectives just to give the real picture, no matter how bleak or obscure they are even for me-the writer. it's a great achievement for a writer to catch a person's attention and move him in the most unexpected way possible.

I have my share of favorite is named sonny crestfort. the words he articulate were so dark, with a little twist of humor, coated with deep aspirations... it's weird because i could relate to every word he says... he writes... his story is so gripping and artistically done. visit his blog site once and see for your self...

i guess, that would be all for now. i am so excited to write again! brace yourselves and please bear with what my twisted head lies instore for you...