You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


3.2.10

confrontation with a masked metaphor


DO NOT FORCE THOSE WORDS into my mouth and those thoughts into my head. I fear not the face you wear but the monsters that lurks behind your teeth. I can smell the stench whenever you exhale. They are stuck on your gums, rotten and scabbed like the secret I have long kept. Reminding me is pointless so I pray you—stop telling me things that I should be afraid of for I have long memorized the list. I could recite them to you even in dreams—the places where they usually stay and breed like flies; haunting me in my own subconscious awareness and the fear they inflict carried on till I open my eyes. But I know this attempt is futile. You will not give up that easily. I can feel you breathing on my neck, crawling underneath my feet. You dig the ground deep and eagerly with your fingernails to make me a hole where I would surely trip and fall. It will be a long way down; an endless free fall worse than the bone-crushing impact against the bottom. But I still have to try. You can stop strangling me for I grew numb to physical pain. You can let go because it’s only a matter of time before I amass the sufficient courage to voluntarily jump into the void myself. I fear the uncertainties lurking in its depths, but the darkness has also been a great ally, motivating me to see myself from a distance. In its eerie presence, I do not a have face or imperfections. I could only see is a heart, beating the questions to find the answers it seeks. In the end, everything will be revealed: truth, lies and everything that blurs those two, clear as illuminated by a thousand burning suns. Once again I am asking you; shut that word whole in your face and dance your way into the masquerade. Do not remove that mask as will I; for we both know that a secret is made by hiding something… and people are revealed by hiding themselves…


10 comments:

richard said...

ron, vote mo na ako.. hehe. off topic.. hehe

jonathan said...

Reading the post is like looking at the mirror facing our own fears, rejections, secrets and struggles. Great use of words, always the best!

kalansaycollector said...

clap. clap.

Reyn said...

aw Ron.. this is nostalgic..haha.. LOL


ayun..nawala ka agad sa FB..? Hmm..

Basta text me pag andito ka Silangan ah?!

KRIS JASPER said...

Hey RON! Do me a pabor.... pleashhhhhhhh.... Can you make the font a bit (just a tiny bit) BIGGER? please ron.... Pleash...............

eli said...

its a reality. minsan talaga hindi maiwasang magtago sa likod ng maskara.

Chyng said...

carried away ako. effective!

free FONT said...

hello! do you like typography?

Pau said...

Bow ako sa'yo. Yun lang.

Mangyan Adventurer said...

REALITY CHECK....

Carried away ako.. Nakakarelate ng sobra...