perhaps many of you were wondering why i have decided to leave so suddenly. i really enjoyed blogging probably far more than you could expect. aside from gaining friends and being able to tap on my passion for writing, i was able to express my thoughts and my deepest emotions the way i wanted them to be expressed. i was raving about it. talking about my friends of the things i have learned from you and sharing them your stories. it was such a thrill and in someway, very addictive. but like all drugs, i never expected blogging could also have some side effects.
when i grew intimate with blogging, i was in a sort of social dormancy. i was cut off from the real world and decided to linger in this virtual sphere. my friends were getting furious because i wasn’t returning any of their calls nor replied to their text messages (most of the time placing the blame on my cheap cellphone and my room’s poor network service reception). my mentality was that technology could no longer bridge distances between people even to those close to your heart. one primary reason why i ‘hid’ myself from them was that people were always asking the same questions and i was always giving the same answers in return. my life was becoming a loophole of boredom and monotony and i took refuge to this virtual reality that i couldn’t seem to leave.
an acquaintance here once called me a psychoblogger— in his definition, as someone who has a compulsion to write. he was a bitter person that had just suffered a traumatic experience in a chatroom (which i never dared to enter). my first reaction was to wince because i found it very offensive. but thinking about it now, i think it hurts because what he said was true. i was a compulsive writer and blogging pulled me back from where i should be. it became a distraction. i remembered divulging this realization to my bestfriend and implied that i should’ve realized this ages ago. i have realized that i am not good in balancing things in my life (i have a poor sense of balance. no wonder i never learned how to ride a bicycle).
that is when i decided to step back, took time to clear my head, regain the bonds of friendship, set my priorities and grow. one month could be a short span of time to measure one’s growth and to make you a mature person but in a way it has given me a new perspective of how my life should be going. but now i decided to come back, with a clearer head (i hope) but still with a twisted mind. my fingertips missed playing with the keyboard i can tell.
i wish everyone a happy new year. let’s brace ourselves to a new start of our lives.