You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman



29.12.08

there and back again

MY FEET ONCE AGAIN STAND on this patch of reality called blogging. i have been hibernating for awhile now and loads had happened over the four weeks of my temporary blog leave. it was such an adventure and it kills me that i was not able to write all of my memoirs for every experience that had transpired. time really flies when you’re busy and as much as i have wanted to update my blog, i just couldn’t squeeze the time to write and find the energy to read blogs i use to visit. but as i have anticipated, i am thrilled to be back.

perhaps many of you were wondering why i have decided to leave so suddenly. i really enjoyed blogging probably far more than you could expect. aside from gaining friends and being able to tap on my passion for writing, i was able to express my thoughts and my deepest emotions the way i wanted them to be expressed. i was raving about it. talking about my friends of the things i have learned from you and sharing them your stories. it was such a thrill and in someway, very addictive. but like all drugs, i never expected blogging could also have some side effects.

when i grew intimate with blogging, i was in a sort of social dormancy. i was cut off from the real world and decided to linger in this virtual sphere. my friends were getting furious because i wasn’t returning any of their calls nor replied to their text messages (most of the time placing the blame on my cheap cellphone and my room’s poor network service reception). my mentality was that technology could no longer bridge distances between people even to those close to your heart. one primary reason why i ‘hid’ myself from them was that people were always asking the same questions and i was always giving the same answers in return. my life was becoming a loophole of boredom and monotony and i took refuge to this virtual reality that i couldn’t seem to leave.

an acquaintance here once called me a psychoblogger— in his definition, as someone who has a compulsion to write. he was a bitter person that had just suffered a traumatic experience in a chatroom (which i never dared to enter). my first reaction was to wince because i found it very offensive. but thinking about it now, i think it hurts because what he said was true. i was a compulsive writer and blogging pulled me back from where i should be. it became a distraction. i remembered divulging this realization to my bestfriend and implied that i should’ve realized this ages ago. i have realized that i am not good in balancing things in my life (i have a poor sense of balance. no wonder i never learned how to ride a bicycle).

that is when i decided to step back, took time to clear my head, regain the bonds of friendship, set my priorities and grow. one month could be a short span of time to measure one’s growth and to make you a mature person but in a way it has given me a new perspective of how my life should be going. but now i decided to come back, with a clearer head (i hope) but still with a twisted mind. my fingertips missed playing with the keyboard i can tell.

i wish everyone a happy new year. let’s brace ourselves to a new start of our lives.

37 comments:

RJ said...

Wow! Welcome back, ROneiluke! o",)

Belated Happy Birthday.

Merry Christmas and a Happy new Year!

kalansaycollector said...

merry holidays! its so nice that you're back! ;)

Tin said...

we all need a break sometimes. :)
i am happy to read you again. more flights and ejaculations Ron :D

Unknown said...

Lucas...

i couldnt agree more with what u said dito sa post mo... its true that blogging has been and will alway be a good way to express our thoughts and feelings but it shouldnt detach or separate us from reality.. na may mga kaibigan tayo at hindi talaga tayo nabubuhay lang sa mundo ng blogsperyo. di ba?

welcome back. I hope that 1 month is enough. hehe. i have been absent din for quite some time at kababalik ko lang rin. Well, i gueass we all need a break from everything that consumes us. di ba?

sabi ko na nga e... once a blogger, always a blogger!

merry xmas! happy new year katukayo!

madjik said...

maligayang pagbalik!!!

happy new year Ron.

Skron said...

Glad to have you back, man. Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year

Chyng said...

Hi! You're back! Namiss namen entires mo!

Happy New Year too!

gentle said...

ron, ron, ron.. :)
reading this, parang natamaan din ako... compulsive blogger? psychoblogger? kaninoat saan ka nagpatherapy? hehehe. i might be needing it soon!

welcome back.. i think my next post is very much related to this. gawa na, di ko pa lang inaaplowd... o di ba? psychoblogger na. hehehehe.

. said...

So someone said you're a psychoblogger. What about me? Every blogger i know is on vacation but here I am still crunching words for my blog. Ehehehe.

Seriously, you really did get detached from the real world. Had you told me about it, I could have helped you sort out things and make your life a little more balanced.

Anyhow I'm glad you're back. Two of my friends started blogging again. Happy New Year, and hope to see more entries from you.

wanderingcommuter said...

i actually wondered whats with the sudden hiatus.
anyhow, what is important nagbalik ka!!!

hampey new year!!!

Dhianz said...

uy! welcome back lucas.... nagbalik ang goodlooking great writer na si Roniluke =)... oh yeah belated merry christmas and have a blessed new year... GODBLESS! -di

RedLan said...

Am happy you're back. sabi nga nila once a blogger is forever a blogger. i hope. ganun lang talaga ang buhay, kaya i-enjoy mo na lang.

i have a copy of that entrance signed photo. pang header yan sana kaso nagpahinga ka. next time. at least bumalik ka. parang so matured ka na ata. hindi na tumubo ang buhok mo. joke lang. siguro mahaba na ang hair mo sa kasalukuyan.

belated happy birthday, belated merry christmas and advance happy new year!

aalis muna ako. see you next year!

Anonymous said...

it's been exactly a month, and we're more than thrilled to have you back. yey! (i applauded when i saw this new post hehe)

anyway, there are times really when we get consumed by something and we tend to detach ourselves from what we currently have. but the great thing is, you have realised the same before you were totally enthralled in it. kudos to you. =)

ponCHONG said...

belated happy birthday ron!

sabi ko na nga ba at hindi mo basta basta maiiwan ang lugar mo dito. good to hear your here now.

happy holidays ron.

all the best!

Anonymous said...

welcome back ron! :) happy new year!!! :)

Kris Canimo said...

happy new year, ron. but..

why LUCAS? lol.

happee new year :P

KRIS JASPER said...

Nice to see you back, lucas!

nag hibernate ka lang pala. Good Luck sa 2009AD!

lucas said...

RJ: thanks RJ! kamusta na ang australia? :) merry krismas and happy new year din sayo :)

kalansaycollector: yeah! i'm so thrilled to be back and read from you :)

tinay: yeah! my blog break have been worthwhile :) more flights for me...not sure about the ejaculations though! hehe!

ron2ron: tama ka katukayo...mahirap talaga magdetach ng sarili sa mga bagay na nakakaaliw naman talaga..minsan kasi nakakalimutan natin ang mas mahahalagang bagay :)

slamat, mate :)

madjik: slamat, mate! happy new yaer sayo :)

skron: thanks, mate :) have a happy new year too :)

yeah! i am back! hehe! nako nand2 na naman ang resident emo niyo..ahehe! happy new year, chyng! :)

gentle: ahehe! natamaan ka ba? ahehe! nako walang therapy...tamang motivated lang ako na mag-isip isip at magbagong buhay..ahehe!
really?related to this? sige hihintayin ko yan. ok lang yan basta wag lang madistract :)

happy new year :)

mugen: ahehe! superpschoblogger ka! ahehehe! joke! thanks alot :) happy new year! can't wait to read from you again :)

ewik: weeheee! it's nice to be back. happy new year..namiss ko ang blog mo..bisita ako mamya :)

dhianz: good-looking? nahiya naman ako bigla..ahehe! but thanks! merry krismas and a happy new year din sayo, di :)

red: i'm happy that i'm back too :)

oh really? waa! you don't have to but thanks :) mukhang matured ba? nako hindi na ako nagpapatubo ng buhok...kapag umabot na xa ng 1 cm pinapashave ko na ulit!

thanks again so much, merry krismas and hapi new year too! :)

gravity: yeah! it's been exactly a month since i left and over that period my fingers were itching to play with the keyboard. i totally agree with u... buti na lang medyo natauhan ako..ahehe!

happy new year!

ponchong: thanks :) nako hindi ko talaga maiiwan tong blog na to. marami akong natutunan at maraming nakikilala..ahehe!

meri krismas at hapi new year sayo at sa yong pamilya :)

JM: thanks, josh marie :) nako kelan ba ang balik mo? can't wait to read from you again :) happy new year!

prostetitute: hays... why lucas? nako kelangan ko na ngang gumawa ng post about this...hehe!

happy new year!

Anonymous said...

..finally.

..i miss you, luke.Ü

Abaniko said...

Have a happy new year! May 2009 be a blogful year for you. Looking forward to reading your posts.

lucas said...

KJ: ahehe! oo! kamusta naman ang pagkain mo ng papel? ahehe!

hales: ahehe! finally! ahehe! i miss you too! mukhang hindi ako makakasama bukas... pupunta kasi ang mga lola ko sa bahay tom..eh

happy new year, hales! kwentuhan tayo next year! mwah mwah!

love you! :)

Eli said...

it's me elay.. nagpalit lang ako ng blog address.. buti at nagbalik ka hehe keep safe, happy new year. GodBless

RJ said...

Summer na sa Australia pero kakaiba ang panahon! Sa QLD may mga storms, at sa South Australia ay palaging makulimlim at medyo cool (as low as 10'C sa gabi at 27'C maximum temperature sa araw)! Sa Darwin at Western Australia naman ay medyo mainit!

Natuwa ako sa iyong pagbabalik! Hinahanap-hanap ko ang English mo rito! o",)

bulitas said...

hop-e new year! talon talon sa new year.
glad you're back.

keep blogging and writing.
just don't let blogging own you.

enjoy blogging!

Aethen said...

Welcome back, Lucas!

I wish you a fruitful 2009! More of you and your stories next year (tomorrow).

Happy New Year!

lucas said...

elay: ahhh... i see :) i kinda miss your pink layout! ahehe! very unique! anyway, happy new year to you :)

RJ: nako, magulo pala talaga ang weather dyan sa australia. world down-under talaga! ahehe!

thanks! happy krismas sayo :)

bulitas: ahehe! sige tatalon ako mamaya. baka sakaling mabawasan ang timbang ako! ahaha! yeah..i'll try to keep that in mind :) happy new year :)

aethen: thanks aethen! :) have a fruitful new year too :) sige magpopost ako mamaya...ahehehe...napansin ko kasi may mga year end special ang mga blogs...ahehe..makikigaya ako..hahaha!

happy new year! :)

Dabo said...

Ei... Cheers!

Clare Marshall said...

hey Ron! good to know you're back.. lots of us missed you.. ;) and thanks for visiting my blog the time you came back.. heheeh.. I really appreciate you dropping by.. and btw, thanks for that thought.. I will never forget that and sayo ko nga yun una talaga nabasa... hahaha.. have a blessed and prosperous New Year too.. :D

lucas said...

dabo: cheers to you too, dabo :) happy new year :)

eyprille: wow! thanks alot :) i am thrilled to be back and to read from you again...sure :) kaw kaya isa sa mga kauna-unahang kong kaibigan dito :) have a merry new year too :) mwah!

Dear Hiraya said...

Ahoy! nagbalik ka na nga talaga!! hahaha! Happy New Year! Belated meryy christmas! hehe..

aabangan namin ang mga susunod mong mga articles!! Go ron!

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

lucas said...

fjords: ahehe! thanks alot :) belated merry xmas at happy new year din sayo :)

Denis said...

i knew it, you'll be back.

happy new year brother

lucas said...

denis: ahehe! it's nice to be back too, brother :)

Anonymous said...

back again..
i know how much u miss this.. ;)

lucas said...

steph: nako sobrang na-miss ko nga to steph! waaaa! hehehe!

i'll send you the resume :)

Myk2ts said...

Lucas,
im glad to know you're back. nakakaaddict naman kasi yang bampirang naka volvo na yan eh. hehe, happy 2009! mahirap man ang buhay, kakayanin natin to with Him on our side :)

the spool artist said...

as they say... blogging is sweeter the second time around!

great to see you back ron!