You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


19.10.09

the hermit came out of his shell


A
ND AFTER WHAT FELT LIKE A GAZILLION YEARS, I finally had an opportunity to actually have a social life. I attend to my sick grandmother (A nurse is required to take care of her since she breathes through a tube in her throat and she eats through a tube in her stomach-- tubes everywhere) for 12 straight hours without sleep starting from 6 PM to 6 AM and I usually spend the rest of the day usually by sleeping or watching TV series on my laptop. My life has been pretty boring and monotonous that I sometimes feel miserable. Wait, I am always miserable!

So yesterday morning, just to save myself from depression due to lack of human contact, I went out despite of the fact that I am restless and bags burdened my eyes. I decided to watch the movie Fame. As I wait for a jeepney to take me to my destination, there was this strange feeling of bliss. I got to experience once again the chaos in the streets--people scouring, the annoying traffic, the open air and skies. Yeah. it's that bad. I am a hermit. For months my world revolved in a small room that smelled of urine and disinfectant.

10:30 AM-- I arrived at the movie house and I got very disappointed. The mall will not feature Fame. Alone and feeling pathetic (I mean who would go to the cinemas at 10-ish in the morning?), I reached for my cell and texted PJ and Ego almost pleading for us to meet up. And I was glad that I did because we had a blast. I missed hanging out with them. It's always nice to chill out with crazy people!


We ended up window shopping for cool clothes. Shopping for clothes is not my thing but if you're friends with vain people, I think it'll rub on you somehow. We ate at McDonald's--my treat (See? SEE!?)

After 4 hours of catching up, we said goodbye and I went back to my world of monotony.

6 PM-- My shift started and I felt so tired and sleepy. Sometimes, I wish I could fast-forward my life to 5 years from now. Because sometimes, I feel like I wouldn't miss anything even if I
could.














23 comments:

reyn said...

Yes Ron, finally. hehe..


I miss hanging out with you guys, too. Maybe someday.. well..someday... when the sun turns red. joke.

Ego has a new number, right?

Aris said...

kailangan mo ring mag-break once in a while para ma-refresh. pero ang ginagawa mong pag-aalaga sa lola mo ay isang malaking act of love. and i admire you for that. god bless. :)

Theo Martin said...

amfogi. depressed pa yan sa lagay na yan ha. pahalik naman diyan bro pare tsong! hahaha :) happy that you're a little bit happy. ;-) really didnt comment on the other stuff because it got so monotonous (being really sad in the posts) that i don't want to depress you further by saying that it's not that good anymore, it's not touching me anymore! hahaha, but alam mo naman im a fan forever, and i know you're a truly talented writer! take care!

FerBert said...

RON!

ako naman nasobrahan sa social life kaya hindi na nakapagblog. haha

ako din tagaalaga ng lola dati bago sya binawian ng buhay. :(

FerBert said...

RON!

ako naman nasobrahan sa social life kaya hindi na nakapagblog. haha

ako din tagaalaga ng lola dati bago sya binawian ng buhay. :(

Knoxxy said...

You will make a great nurse someday bro. :)

chyng said...

good for you. konting unwind para marefresh. ;D

leslie said...

*thanks
ei, ron. i actually have a poster with that verse and it shows the scene when Jesus walks on water and catches Peter's hand, who is already sinking :D

eliment said...

hi ron, okay din ang trip nyo. hehe

take time to relax..
ako nga yta nasobrahan sa relax at pati pagba-lobg napapabayaan ko :-(.

God bless.

PUSANG-gala said...

aha--ito yung picture na nakita ko sa facebook the other night...and di pa ikaw ang nagpost---yung friend mo. hehe

mate---if happiness is a state of mind, then don't lure yourself to the idea that you are miserable. You can be at peace with yourself despite the lack of social life, unless you really crave for it but is just denying yourself of the opportunity....cheers to life mate!!!

fjordz said...

pareho lang tayo.. napakamonotonous na rin ng buhay ko. pero buti nga ikaw eh may lakas ng loob na magyaya ng mga kaibigan. Ako kasi parang wala. Kaya most of the time e loner ako. Ayun. Ang hirap hirap kasing magmove on...

PUSANG-gala said...

lack of human contact?---I can relate to that. I also have me, myself and Anton most of the time in front of my PC so I also miss human interaction. and it's hard. buti kapa nga me nakakasalamuha at lumalabas pa ng bahay. At nakakapunta pa sa hospital.hehe. In short, you have a choice. you just have to go for it.

Be glad you have vain friends. allow yourself then to be influenced by them from time to time. yan pala epekto su ha. nanlilibre ka ng Mcdo...next time ako text mo ha, to number ko 0921 *** ***. lol

RJ said...

Mayaman ang 'hermit', nag-treat pa sa McDonald's! U

[I agree du'n sa second sentence ni Aris.]

Abou said...

ayos mga porma a hehe

Stunted Male said...

Hi. Good for you. Sometimes you need to change environment.

jonathan said...

Good to see you smiling. You are one great grandson and a friend to many.

aLONE but not LONEly said...

Buti naman at lumabas ka sa magulong mundo. And meet crazy people as you call. Cute yung naka-grin este green. lol

homer said...

sometimes i want to fast forward my life too. oh well... buti na lang may friends.

dylan dimaubusan said...

Do you actually mean a 5 year monotonous life?... ehe.

C'mon, if you have that kind of life. It's your choice. Soit's a good thing you get to dragged your friends to meet you.. Hindi mo namang mararamdaman ang feeling ng "breaking free" kungdi ka nakakulong..

In some ways, I feel that too. Since sa elderly mentally ill na ward ako currently nagwwork. I'm starting to question myself if this is what I really wanted and will enjoy doing for a long time. i now realized it isn't.

I now know what I'm passionate about. I'll blog it some time.
:D

As for you, enjoy what you're doing. You'll be a great nurse someday. I mean I think you are now, but you'll be better as time goes by.

Hwag mo lng hayaang maging routine ang buhay, you'll end up being one of my patients someday, hopefully not, hehe.. Just kidding..

Cheers for your social life and career!

ELAY said...

ay grabe feel na feel ko tong post mo na toh kuya. It's been a while since the last time I visited other blogs kaya mejo need ko ng konting recap sa buhay ng iba. Nakakatuwa naman :)

Angelo said...

Hey Luke, glad to hear that you got to have some down time with friends. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy after all...

BTW, I'm sure Soulmate will read my letter eventually... and thanks, I can't wait to get my own DSLR too, but in the meantime, don't underestimate your point & shoot....

moonsparks said...

thank God for friends. :) tsaka di ba ang mga hermits, they're the ones able to achieve inner peace and enlightenment? haha. but seriously, i agree with what aris said too. what you're doing for your lola is an act of love.

Walongbote said...

0nce in a whle we have to breath out and enj0y lyf,even we got lotz of problem.