You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...

-Walt Whitman


red light

PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE. Sometimes I wonder what’s the essence of it all. Why do we have to let people to be part of our lives even though we know that separation is inevitable?

Some people would sometimes come into our lives like thieves in the night, unexpected. They would sneak their way into our hearts like snakes; silent and slithering smoothly, unnoticed against the green shades of grass and weeds. They would walk in through a back door and leave through a window. They’d come in stealth and would leave in stealth usually carrying with them our hearts, bleeding in their fanged mouths.

In other times they would come as friendly-faced strangers at your doorstep. After letting them in, you would find yourself disappointed for suddenly seeing empty seats or your bed. Sometimes they would leave a note, but most of the time with nothing at all. Either way you feel robbed and betrayed, formulating answers to questions they could only give.

But there are some who would enter your life and decide to linger. But in the back of your head it’s only a matter of time before they’d go adios; either by choice or a twisted turn of events caused a predetermined course of destiny. They’d just vanish in thin air, as if sucked into a black hole, leaving the face of the earth, through a voluntary act of alienation placing you into oblivion; by a tragic fate or slow decay of time.

Some would say goodbye, some wouldn’t. To determine which hurts more is an ordeal. Some would decide to walk away, just a few paces, enough for you see them and not really leaving. They’d just stand there, pretending to not know you. They are those you’d want to disappear completely from your life.

But there are some who’d complain and whine about people leaving them, unaware of the fact that they are the ones drifting away.

It’s hard to trust someone to stay when reason tells you that nothing is bound to be certain except for change and goodbyes. Trust is a tricky thing and because most human souls suffer from a disease caused by lack of love, letting someone in seems much easier than letting someone out. Separation is incontrovertible, so is pain, but so is the choice of what we can do between the beginning and the end of every human connection we engage ourselves in.

It is wise to choose happiness in every second that counts. Risking it for the sake of happiness may not be so bad afterall.

. . .
A once unpublished draft.


ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

It is wise to choose happiness in every second that counts. Risking it for the sake of happiness may not be so bad afterall...

I do love that sentences..When we wish everything will be in our hands, it'll gone in less than a second..=(

Anonymous said...

Goodbyes may be one of the hardest word to say..

I feel for this post, I've been in situations like this over and over. I've had 8 schools when I was a student, (NPA kasi kami) and I used to leave my friends behind. And it was so hard for me, but then I realized people come and go into our lives, that's life. The important thing is you've had a great time during those moments you've been together, and made a great impact in their lives... that way they will never ever forget you in their entire existence.

Chyng said...

Im not anymore bothered with the people who come and go. But im sure we meet these people because of a purpose.

Mon said...

yes, it's kinda sad to realize that people come and go and parting times sometimes can be inevitably heartbreaking. argh! hahayzz.. naalala ko tuloy magkakahiway na kaming magkateam sa account namin kasi i-tatransfer na kami sa ibang account..


I'm glad hindi na cbox ka nag-cocomment.. hehe.
anyways, hindi ko pa napanood yong inconvenient truth but i will definitely watch it. sige sali ka sa earth our mate!

btw, sayang hindi ka pala sasali sa Palanca, i bet mananalo ko sana.

Fjordan Allego said...

itong post na to, parang gusto kong angkinin. para kasing sa akin nanggaling. parang buhay ko kasi. parang sa akin nangyari.

kung bakit pa kasi kailangang lumisan ng mga taong natutunan mo nang mahalin...

pero syempre sayo pa rin yan dahil iba ka pa rin talaga sumulat. hahaha!

RJ said...

Pakiramdam ko 'closed' na talaga itong post. Wala na halos akong masabi. Pangit naman kasi 'pag palagi nalang, "Nice Ron, thumbs-up ako rito," or "very well-written," kasi given na 'yan kapag mga articles mo ang pag-uusapan. Sinabi mo na sa final paragraph ang dapat na magiging comment namin. o",) Magtira ka naman para sa amin. U

Ganito nalang: Yes, we really need to take a risk especially if it equally means happiness. It's all right... "if a window has been closed, a door will surely open!" "if someone has figuratively or literally left, somebody is surely coming," they say.

Sana tama ang interpretation ko. Natatakot akong mag-comment dito. Nakakahiya, baka mali or wala sa paksa. U

Anonymous said...

yes, people always leave. but when they do choose to stay, they make the choice much more meaningful.

MarcoPaolo said...

Some would say goodbye, some wouldn’t. To determine which hurts more is an ordeal. Some would decide to walk away, just a few paces, enough for you see them and not really leaving. They’d just stand there, pretending to not know you. They are those you’d want to disappear completely from your life.

--> come and go lang ang mga taong sa ating buhay... yong iba naman mananatili sa tabi mo at ang iba nama'y iiwan ka na lang na walang paalam... pero sabi nga nila bawat tao raw na ating nammeet ay may mga baong lessons para sa ating sarili... kung anuman man yon... tayo na mismo ang makadiscover...

Mugen said...

Just let people come and go. We cannot hold back those who would stay and those who are bound to leave.

istepf said...

well, we cant really say whats gonna happen next, who's gonna leave or who's gonna stay..

i just know in my heart, i will always be your FRIEND.. i'll stick with you.. :]

(nald, when can we meet up? kelan k pwede? kw n mgsabi, im free the whole week..Ü see you soon..)

JL said...

uy asan ung post mo? patingin din...

Denis said...

and you should really write this =)

first quarter of this year and its note even over, i witnessed two dear people in my life lose their fathers. very contemporary age.

nakakatakot, i wouldnt know what to do if im on their shoes. The thought of losing my parents will really stress me out. its crazy id say.


pero parang hindi ganitong pag iwan ang gusto mong ipakita dito.

alam ko rin yun

yung bigla nalang mawawala. walang dahilan, walang last words. walang goodbye.

badtrip yun

tapos magkikita kayo ulit parang wala lang

pero yung iba di na tlga magpapakita...

and then im defensive about being emo.

Dhianz said...

*clap* *clap* galing tlgah sa pagsusulat... i'm always gonna be 'ur fan =)... hmmm... oo nga... ba't silah darating sa buhay naten tapos bibigyan tayo nang pansamantalang ligaya pero silah ren mismo ang taong magtatanggal nitoh at nde lang yun... iiwanan pang dumudugo ang puso naten... haha.. masyado atang makatah? lolz... pero yeah kinda sad kung iisipin... nde na lang sana silah dumating kung aalis ren silah... pero ganonz tlgah ang buhay eh... come and go lang tlgah ang mga tao sa buhay naten... tulad nang mga kaibigan... nde naman lahat silah nag-sstay.... gaya nang sabi nilah... true friends eh mabibilang lang naten sa daliri nang mga kamay naten... 'ung iba mga acquaintance lang tlgah... and like sa work... malungkot mang isipin maraming naging close na kelangang mag-say goodbye... pero ang mahirap eh sa isang relationship... napamahal ka na sa tao tapos iiwan ka ren palah at ipagpapalit ka sa iba... ouch!.. lolz... wehe... pero merong isang tao na never tayong iiwan... syempre... sino pa bah si God... mag-walk out man lahat nang tao sa buhay naten... si God never mawawala... He'll be there for us till the end of times... actually eternally... He will never leave us nor forsake us... =) GODBLESS! -di

elYAS said...

napaka eksistensyal.

isang unibersal na katotohanan ang pamamaalam. at bilang mortal, wla tayong magagawa kundi ang maging bahagi ng prosesong ito. sa ayaw man natin o sa hindi.

ang pamamaalam, pag-alis at pagpanaw ng mga bagay sa ating buhay ay isang mapait na realidad. ngunit kung paguukulan ng pansin ay ang kaligayahan at hindi ang panahon, isang buhya ang hindi masasayang. sadyang ganun, walang permanente, lahat ay mga patikim ng isang mas mabathalang pag-asa sa kabilang buhay.

maraming salamat sa mga malulungkot na salita. mainam ang bawat panitik. sniff.

MAY said...

yeah.. it's really ironic when people say "forever" pero it really doesn't end that way. in the first place, alam mo naman na there's really no forever but they make it hard to believe the other way when everything's seem so perfect and fine right? :( I wish we could have the power to not let somebody walk out on us... pero siguro nga, may reason lagi... anyway, this reminded me of the latest episode of OTH.. napanuod mo na ba? naiyak ako... hahaha.. all throughout the episode umiyak talaga ako :(

anyways... la lang, napadaan lang po :)

MAY said...

oh.. and btw, i love the song in your background :) dinownload ko nga as soon as natapos un kanta :)

gentle said...

when an opportunity comes for us to be happy, we just have to grab em and cherish those happy memories til the rest of our lives; even though the person who caused us such high feelings is already gone from our lives.

lucas said...

zara: i totally agree. when people leave, it's almost always a surprise.

dylan: you've been to 8 schools? wow...i could imagine how hard it was for you leaving your friends. like they say, there is always a purpose in people coming and going into our lives...

their purpose in our lives is over kaya they move on...

mon:ahh..kasi iba na yung type ng comment box mo...nagpalit ka kasi ng layout eh..hehe! ayun.

sige panoorin mo. some US officials claim that Al Gore is crazy and global warming is just a hoax. imagine that...hehe!

nako salamat sa boost of confidence but i doubt. uhmm...marami pa akong dapat matutunan. i even don't have a formal training when it comes to writing. saka na lang siguro :)

salamat, mon...

fjords:let's just say, i'm writing this in your behalf :) besides what i have written is a universal truth. maraming nakakarelate..:)

RJ: bakit ka naman natatakot? hehe! it's your will be unethical kung sasabihin kong mali mga sinasabi mo, di ba? hehe! subjectivity makes blogging so much fun. :P

narnian: yeah... i hope more people would be like that.

marco: pero sabi nga nila bawat tao raw na ating nammeet ay may mga baong lessons para sa ating sarili... kung anuman man yon... tayo na mismo ang makadiscover...

-they have a purpose in becoming part of our lives. may purpose din ang pag-alis nila.

mugen: pero sabi nga nila bawat tao raw na ating nammeet ay may mga baong lessons para sa ating sarili... kung anuman man yon... tayo na mismo ang makadiscover...

-they have a purpose in becoming part of our lives. may purpose din ang pag-alis nila.

joms: Just let people come and go.---this is the best thing we could do.

steph: same here, steph! mwah! hindi ko pa sure eh. wala kasi akong pamasahe. ahehe!

uhmm...probably sa wed. tomorrow! text na lang kita :)

i miss you steph :)

JL: uhmm..what post? ahehe

denis: [pero parang hindi ganitong pag iwan ang gusto mong ipakita dito.]

probably. :)

badtrip talga yun. my last relationship is something close to that. no goodbyes. no last words. just fleeting shadows.

di: i agree. people come and go. and God is not one of them. He is the One constant and ever staying...the One who really loves us, no matter what :)

thanks, di:)

elyas: wala akong masabi sa comment mo. very well said! at tagalog na tagalog! hehe!

may: nako hindi ko pa napapanood may. hintayin ko muna matapos yung buong season tapos DVD marathon na! hehe

ang ganda nung kanta noh? kanta yan si matt giraud. yung ang bet kong manalo sa american idol this season. ahehe!

eli said...

wow..very sharp words. parang tumatagos sa kalulwa ko.

ang kaligayahan talaga, dapat sinanamnam at walang sinasayang na sandali...ang kaligayahan kase, biglang nawawala sa hindi inaasahang panahon at pagkakataon.

Reyn said...

Ron, you know what path I chose to be happy, but I was wrong because it just led me to sleepless nights, crying over and over. Haha..

I so love the last two sentences. I could go make you a monument for that. LOL

RJ said...

I have just finished reading the 'Red Light' again... and that was my 3rd time to read this post. Whew, I am looking for the sentence that could tell me why 'Red Light'?

If someone we love or some people in our lives have gone, it is clear that they’ve seen the 'green light'; simply because all the time we possess no power to turn the ‘green light’ off!

So why ‘Red Light’...? I think it is for us to STOP ourselves from chasing after those people we love— who have chosen or decided to leave us (“If we love them we have to let them go,” they say). But most of the time the Red Light is the 'traffic signal' that we desperately need to display right in front of someone we dearly love because we want her to stop, to think, and finally to realize that it is really worth to reverse or to take a U-turn and come back to our lives again. =,{

...and it is so meaningful that ‘traffic lights’ are unmistakably found in the ‘intersections’ (crossroads)!

REDLAN said...

Ganyan lang talaga ang buhay at friendship, may nagi iwan, may dumarating. May na learn ako dyan, treat people fairly para di ka masasaktan sa bandang huli.

Filipina Blogger said...

I love the last sentence too and that's actually what I live life to the fullest everyday!

jonathan said...

When a student from Uganda suddenly left us without saying goodbye, we were all sad. We were waiting for a closure, and without that closure, we ended becoming disappointed.

But transient lives of expatriates is a given, they come, they go so having no expectation from someone is better in some way. So in our work place, the word goodbye have no meaning, we always would say, see you again.

ShatterShards said...

Letting go is one of the hardest things that we have to learn. WE also have to realize that sometimes, holding on hurts us more than letting go. Goodbyes are one of the saddest things we are doomed to endure. But the operative word is "endure", meaning, we can survive it, and we can be stronger because of it.

It's just sometimes, it seems unbearable that the feelings still linger...

kokoi said...

i hate goodbyes. lalo na kapag nagsimula na na may mabuong something. pero naisip ko, minsan ako din gumagawa nun. so, touché me!

i love the last part!


I wonder what happens to those I know that I no longer have contact with?

Sometimes I'd rather be a hermit with multiple personality.

Anonymous said... sucks knowing that people leave you for different reasons.

it sucks to say goodbye because there's no assurance that you will see each other again.

i guess we just have to learn to deal with it.sometimes, we have no choice anyway.

uglykidjoey said...

People enter our lives to teach us more about ourselves. They come to hurt us or lift us up. It is what we make out of these situations that should matter. :)

Joaqui said...

There maybe some people who leave just like that but in a way we also leave people behind, consciously or not.

istepf said...

today is wednesday,,
still no txt from you..=(

helooooo.. hehe..
i guess i just really miss u, kya ko nangungulit ng ganto..

ill b patient.. :]

haley said...

...i miss you.

...haaay, this post made some memories from the past creep up one me. tsk. aray. hehe.

...i love you, luke. sorry for leaving you, once upon a time.

...see you soon.Ü

gravity said...

people come in and out our lives for a reason. they teach us valuable lessons in our lives and would somehow mold us into better persons in the long run. i hope you may see things in a different light, on a brighter note. Ü

sorry to have sounded preachy Ü

Anonymous said...

Naku, sinabi mo pa. Imagine those people and friends I left behind. Siguro that was my training ground to be more flexible sa lahat ng tao at lugar.

I can now easily adapt to new environment, so it really helps a lot to me. You see, may advantage and disadvatages talaga lahat ng bagay. A matter of balancing it perhaps.. May reason talaga lahat, God is really clever.

karmi said...

i love you ron! :)
uy grabe, baka may magselos ha.. sorry naman.. bat ba kasi ang galing mong magsulat? :)

may quote about dyan eh.. hmmm, na may mga taong dumadaan lang sa buhay mo, para turuan ka ng lesson at di para magstay ng matagal.. so just enjoy the time you are spending with that person.. i know nakakalungkot na aalis din sya matapos mong ishare ung buhay mo, pero un eh, wala naman tayong magagawa dun.. just be happy na naging part sya ng buhay mo. :)

Anonymous said...

ang sweet naman ni haley...

teka penge tissue... nakakalungkot post mo.

goodbyes and separtaion suck talaga!

Allen Yuarata said...

life is an adventure. And adventures aren't always that easy.

Tawa tawa na lang tayo. Hehe.

lucas said...

gentle: very well said, gentle :) marami tao they are taking so much things for granted and just realizes their importance when it's already too late.

tumbok, parekoy. ang weird no? kung alin pa yung masaya..ayun pa yung madaling mawala...

reyn: sinasabing mong mali kasi nasasaktan ka pa... madidiscover mo rin ang reason kung bakit nagkaganun at kung anong purpose ng nangyari sayo..ahehe!

o sige! gusto ko yung gawa sa granite ah? hehe!

RJ: very well done :) walang labis, walang kulang...

red light for those who want to leave, and for us to stop chasing those who are bound to leave us...and let go..hehe!

red: tama ka red. treat people well. at least hindi ka nagkulang...ahehe! ANO DAW? :p

pinayblogger: thanks for the comment. live life to the fullest! :P

jon: that was sad. people vanishing without saying their goodbye is very disappointing indeed...

people always leave...but sometimes they come back. :)

shatts: Goodbyes are one of the saddest things we are doomed to endure. But the operative word is "endure", meaning, we can survive it, and we can be stronger because of it.--very well said :) we are survivors!

pain is bound to pass, sometimes a little sooner than we expect.

kokoi: ahehe! people always leave but sometimes it's for a good reason. i know you had. hehe:)

KJ: i want to be just a hermit too..sometimes. not the multiple personalities. hehe!

flamindevil: i agree. the only thing we could do is deal with pain. and it is bound to pass. we just have to endure it.

peace out!

uglykidjoey: [People enter our lives to teach us more about ourselves. ]--i couldn't agree more. we cannot learn things all on our own. sometimes we need someone to learn more...

joaqui: yeah...i think unconscious muna...then saka sila magiging conscious...ay ewan! haha! gulo na ng utak ko. ang daming comments. ahhi!

steph: nagpunta na ako sa bahay niyo kahapon. hahaha! wala lang! sarap ng leche flan! and i love our moments by the lake :)

balik ulit ako dyan! hahaha!

hales: i love you too, hales...

sabi nga di ba: People always leave...but sometimes they come back..and you did

gravity: i agree. pain brought by goodbyes makes us stronger to endure...and to become better individuals in the future :0

being preachy is good :P

it pays to be flexible...kasi madali kang makaadapt...God is indeed clever :)

karmi: nako wish ko lang may magselos. wala eh. hehe! baka naman sakin may magselos ah? hahaha! kidding! regards to sir arvin...

josh: sweet tlaga yun si hales :)

allen: oo nga eh. tawa na lang ako ng tawa para na akong baliw. hehe!

eu, i've heard you submitted an entry to 'palaca'. read it. and it's really good :) hope you win..

balato ah? haha! kidding!

Elay said...

Goodness, ngayon ko lng nabasa toh. I'm suffering from the exact situation and reading this post somehow made me cry. *sniff

lucas said...

elay: lahat naman yata nakaranas ng iwanan or maiwanan... just vent it out :)

Anonymous said...

you are really
to affect
our touch..
naks! :D

lucas said...

pugad-maya: thanks, mate :P

Roland said...

if we dont let people go,
hindi tayo mag mo move one.

nice 1 =D

lucas said...

roland: i's the only choice we could make if we want to move forward...

istepf said...

hehe.. in fairness, khit walang txt, surprise visit pla ang eksena mo..=)

slmat s pkikinig..
my updates ako,, hay, its no good news..=(

lucas said...

steph: oh my? bad news? tsk tsk..sige kita tayo maya mya..hehe!

Theo Martin said...

Galing magsulat. am a fan. :)

napunding alitaptap... said...

huwel. . .

that's the way life goes. . .

parang malabo din kun lahat nalan nagsestay. . .

baka wala ng dumating.