You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


4.3.09

route 22


IT WAS MAY 15th just past midnight. I was the one on the driver seat, one hand on the steering wheel and the other intertwined with hers. We took Route 22--a long stretch of concrete that divides a vast and empty wilderness. Only few take that road but I am not sure why. Once a year something magical happens in that lonely and forsaken path. I have witnessed it a few times and that night was when I decided to share that magical moment with her.

The night was wrapped in deep darkness. The moon and the stars were veiled by thunderclouds and our headlights were the only sources of light. Cool air brushed against our faces that smelled of fresh grass. I could see her savoring the wind with eyes closed. Her long hair waved, dancing as free as her soul as we both listened to alternative music on the radio.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Home.” I answered.

“Really? But how come I don’t know this place.” Suspicion etched on her expression.

“I’m not surprised. Only few take this road. It’s almost forgotten, actually.” I answered taking a quick glance of her curious face.

“But how come?” She said throwing me a quizzical look.

“Do you really want to know?” I asked.

She nodded.

“They say this road is haunted. Look out there.” I said, trying to sound scary and convincing as much as I could.

“You’re kidding, right?” She said, obviously scared.

“Yep.” And she gave a jab on an arm before our laughter echoed across the empty grassy fields around us.

“I just want to show you something first before we head home.” My eyes lingered on hers. It was time.

“And what is it?” Her eyes suddenly filled with wonder. I almost couldn’t contain my excitement.

“A surprise.” I said, eyes on the road ahead. She instantly fell silent. She thought I have forgotten what that day stood for.

“Close your eyes.” And I turned off the headlights after I saw her eyelids cover her beautiful eyes.

The moment the lights went out came a moment bathed in complete and palpable darkness. And there it was. I had witnessed it once more, triumphant that I had finally shared it with her.

I kissed her soft lips and whispered, “And now, open them.”

We’re like floating in space as a million winged-lights hovered ahead of us; tiny lights conjured by a million fireflies that had found safe haven by that path of concrete we traversed. Our car gained speed as if we’re about to fly. The lights were flying passed us in a blur of long thin lines of golden light in every direction, each magnified by the night’s shroud in the deepest of black. Words were not enough to illustrate the majesty of what we had witnessed.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered. I could see every light reflected on her eyes.

“Yes, it is.” I said, wondering if we could together pave all the paths set before us till the end.

She suddenly stood up and raised her hands to the heavens. My heart seemed to slow down when I saw her, arms outstretched trying to catch the lights in her tiny hands, looking as if embracing the moment that was transpiring before her.

We were still accelerating. Speeding ominously fast. Something was definitely wrong.

Excitement is altered in to fear and bliss into an ugly sense of panic. And suddenly all the tiny lights went out. Then came a moment soaked in total darkness. I turned the headlights on and pulled the breaks. It was too late. We hit a dead end. She was the last image i saw. Standing with hands outstretched to the lights she’s trying to catch.

. . .

It’s been three years. I go back there often to see the lights. But they never came back. Not anymore. The lights seemed to have died with her. It was weeks after the incident before I could make sense of what had happened that night. We crashed against a stranded car. I was the one who get the second chance to live. And yet I feel so dead.

This wheelchair that carries me will be my prison; atonement for what I had done until the time comes when I could finally forgive myself. I’ll wait for an absolution that may never come while I remember her, hands outstretched; catching lights she could no longer see.

I bestowed upon her the worst gift a person can give. And now I am wingless. void of light. Aimed to walk through the years of my life without her. Alone.



. . .

Inspired by the movie, The Look-Out. The 'firefly' image is already redundant, I know. Hehe. I'll use glow-in-the-dark sea cucumbers next time :P

37 comments:

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Huh...

U make me damn scared!

I really thought it's your experience and almost cried here..

Huhuhu..T_T

jonathan said...

Stories like this, whose magical beginning ends in tears, makes me cry for those who had lost their beloved ones. I like happy endings but obviously in life, there will always be some twists. This post brings out mixed feelings, real and unexplainable.

Roland said...

pahingi ng tubig, hindi ako makahinga!!!

God, seems so real... as if i was also in the car... bumilis takbo ng puso ko... then *poof* the sad ending came.

bakit kaya minsan, when everything is perfectly fine... something happens... and put everything to an end? hayzzzz...


====

just watched CLOSER wc stars julia roberts n jude law... i loved it... gusto ko ring gumawa ng entry inspired to that movie... ang galing ng mga batuhan nila ng salita... tagos sa puso.

RJ said...

Drive Safely. Use your headlights at night.

Eyes on the road not on your lover.

If you're driving don't kiss; if you're kissing don't drive.

Observe the speed limit; drive, don't fly.

[Well-written! The darkness of the scene hasn't had enough power over the brightness of your words! Excellent, as always. o",)]

Lance said...

Nice!

---

I dreamt of me and my father climbing the Kanlaon Volcano together with some of my uncles and aunts... I was not able to go with them because there were two whiteladies who were haunting me and so I had to come running down the hills....then I met my father again only to know that they did not proceed with the journey since the trail was so dangerous...i don't what that meant..

yas.tolentino said...

anak ng..andrama ha. ehe

lucas said...

Thanks guys for you're endearing words :)

Denis said...

Ron, you're really born to write. I cant help but feel intimidated every time I read your brain products here.

to think, you didn't went to school of writing and this is what you've got.

kudos brother for the inspiration and intimidation. i promise not to copy paste your writings on my secret site... hahah

your haley.Ü said...

...luke,Ü

I am honestly having goosebumps right now. You are unbelievable. I miss you. Come by this weekend, I have so many movies to share. Let's gouge our eyes out, shall we?Ü

...i love you.Ü

lucas said...

denis: so you have a secret site? hahaha! better wish i wouldn't stumble in it. hahaha :P

hales: weh? you're just saying that because your MY haley! hahaha! joke! :P

i'll drop by this weekend. can't wait to watch movies again..ahehe! i'm so busy with house chores. can you believe it? hahaha!

i love you, too! mwah!

wanderingcommuter said...

saang planeta ka ba galing at bakit ang galing mo magsulat????

vanvan said...

tungaw.

i thot totoo..

pero so sweet, so real masyado and then so scary na..

iba ka talaga..

swear!

your haley.Ü said...

...luke.Ü

nga pala, napakinggan mu na ba ung the postal service -electronic indie pop- ekek. astig mga kanta, both music and lyrics.Ü para maiba naman.Ü

...muaah.Ü

mrs.j said...

whats with the story?

why mo sia sinulat?

Mon said...

once again, i am impressed. very well-written. akala ko tuloy true story mo. very effective. intimidating nga talaga ang blog na'to. ;p

acdee said...

where do u get this inspiration...amazing ..

Fjordan Allego said...

hmm... actually, hindi ako nakarelate pero nagets ko yung stoy. siguro kasi manhid ako ngayon sa emosyon hehehe. ang tanging gumagana sa akin ngayon ay ang utak ko. naisip ko tuloy, ang lahat kaya ng kwento mo may basehan? i mean, alam kong gawa gawa lang lahat pero for sure may pinagmulan. Meron nga kaya?

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

gravity said...

shoot! kinabahan ako. hehe.

akala ko tungkol pa rin kay bok at poknat! muntik na ako atakihin haha.

galing =)

eli said...

nanikip ang dibdib ko..hahaha. ang galing mo naman.

daig ko pa ang nanunod ng movie nito. ang ganda talaga ng kwento.

lucas said...

dabo: taga-dito ako sa earth. kay Kris jasper mo dapat tinatanong yan. HAHA!

van: buti tinapos mong basahin...hehe! most of my literary works are fictional so...ayun. hehe!

thanks :)

hales: postal service? nako meron ako nun galing sayo kaya lang hindi nagpe-play..tsk tsk...

gusto ko yung album ng the fray...hehe!

mrs j: uhm...i'm inspired by movie the look-out???

mon: salamat, mon :P i have written a post a little similar to yours...hehe!

acdee: it was inspired by the movie, the look out :) thanks :P

fjords: bakit ka naman manhid ngayon? hmmm...

meron siguro, pero unconsciously channelled. ahehe! salamat.

ShatterShards said...

I'm actually frothing on the mouth with envy right now. You make my fiction feel so elementary, buti na lang at hindi naka-post. haha!

I can only wish to be able to write with even a fraction of the talent you have. Galing!

karmi said...

mababatukan kita kung totoong nangyari tong kwento Ron!!! :P

hay, you kinda remind me of Nicholas Sparks. :) ganyan ung mga kwento nya eh. tragic ending pero andun pa rin ung love.. :)

Dylan Dimaubusan said...

This is so good. It's clearly painted in my imagination..Don't know how many times I've said this, but, you're darn good! And getting better.

Looking forward to read another one like this too..

Hang sweet nyo naman ni Hales mo..wehe..

lucas said...

shatts: maraming salamat, shatts :P

karmi: nako buti pala hindi totoo kasi baka puntahan mo pa ko dito para batukan. haha! :P

i love nicholas sparks and i love tragedies! hehe! wala pa akong nababasang book niya but i love the movie adaptations esp. the notebook.

nako sweet talaga kami nun! kulang na nga lang maging kami eh! haha!

salamat, pareng dylan!

ShatterShards said...

Walang anuman, Lucas!
Keep writing. Ako, I'm still waiting for my muse to return.

------------

Yep, I do hope to make the right decision.

It's a good story, yes, and I wish to have written it. Unfortunately, it isn't mine. Crossroads to Destiny is the second season ender to (one of) my favorite cartoons, Avatar: The Last Airbender, from Nickelodeon.

Try to look for it, baka ma-adik ka rin. hehe

gravity said...

dinedma mo yung comment ko hmmp! haha!

lucas said...

darating din yang muse mo, maya-maya lang. hehehe!

---
ah..i see. naririnig ko na siya pero never paid much attention kasi wala naman kasi kaming tv dati. hehe! i usually dig jap anime. sige, i'll check it out...ang dami ko nang addictions! waaa!

DLSU won in 4 sets, did you know? hehe! can't wait for the last game of the finals.

gravity: waaahh! i'm so sorry! hindi ko lang napansin siguro. pati si pareng eli nadead ma ko..hehe!

---
nako hindi. maxadong tragic to. para sa mga feel good posts lang yun sa poknat at bok. i'm planning to write their love story in tagalog pati. hehe!

eli: salamat, mate sa compliments!

ShatterShards said...

The more addictions, the better! hehe

--------

Panalo pa rin ang anime! When you see Avatar, makikita mong heavily influenced siya ng anime. Minsan, makalilimutan mong american animation ang pinanonood mo. hehe

I think I saw somewhere online na nanalo nga raw ang Lady Spikers. Sayang, hindi ko napanood. Kailan ba yung 3rd game?

gravity said...

haha, kaya medyo nanibago ako nung english na. i had a feeling na ndi na tungkol kay bok at poknat, and yet i tried to imagine pa rin them shortly after the prom, with bok driving and poknat at the passenger seat hehe.

sana may part 3 sina bok at poknat!

jeszieBoy said...

ur freakin' awesome dude!
*GOOSEBUMPS*

i'm following, lab yer blog. :]

KRIS JASPER said...

And I thought that came from your personal diary again, good thing it aint. Sad ending, beautifully done though.

Again, well done Luke.

flamindevil said...

sad.

bakit naman kasi binigay mo yun while driving?

sayang.

apektado talaga ko.haha

REDLAN said...

Pinatay mo siya, pinatay mo siya! joke. another great bedtime story you made.

PUSANG-gala said...

I also though this is a horror post----but it is a sad story for sure---aa reminder of the sad reality of how a magical moment could turn into a nightmare----in life- we really have to be careful in our choices.

gentle said...

stick with the fireflies. glow in the dark sea cucumbers don't cut the image right. hehehe. :) very imaginative, ron!

though it kinda brought me low; i've no tolerance for sad stories lately. hehehe.

lucas said...

shatts: more addictions the better? hehe! apparently not for me! more addictions equals more distractions! hehe!

ganun naman talaga eh. sa japanese anime base ang american animation.

sa sunday yung 3rd and final game. tune in sa studion 23. 2 pm sa lalaki then 4 sa babae. hehe!

gravity: nako paborito kong characters si bok at nat. hinding=hindi ko sila papatayin.

hehe!

may part 3 pero nasa isip ko palang...hehe!

jeszieboy: thanks for following me, mate.


KJ: i wish i have a personal diary. i'm starting to believe my whole existence i all made up. :P thanks!

red: OO! pinatay ko siya! i love killing people in my stories. is that a sign of passive-aggresiveness???

antonio: naisip ko din yun. there was a brief moment i considered making it a horror post kaya lang sobrang tagal pa ng halloween. hehe!

i agree. pero minsan kahit ganung pag-iingat at precautions, when fate speaks, wala din tayong magagawa.

gentle: hahaha! gasgas na kasi yung fireflies sa mga posts ko. ano kayang pwedeng ipalit bukod sa sea cucumbers? hehe!

i know! mukhang masaya ka eh gawa ng super-bright-colored-layout ng site mo. hehe! thanks!

Paolo Carreon said...

interesting...
youre gifted with words!

Cheers.