greatest story never told: the epilogue

I SAW HER FACE and suddenly my heart was home again. it was a conflicted feeling. i am not even sure what it means exactly. her memory once again knocked on my door and i welcomed it in like an old friend. i felt the familiar warmth, protecting me from this cold and windy night.

there are just too many memories that wrote my past, but hers is the one that i never tried to cast away. have you ever been to a point in your life when you thought you could never fit in this world? the very same place that dictates what things we should wear or what we should be afraid of or who we should love? well, she saved me from that ugly place and whenever i dwell on her presence or on her memories, i feel different…and yet feel so normal.

there were still nights when i would look up to the heavens and deconstruct this complicated emotion. sometimes it is love but most of the time it is more like an illusion. questions hang over me but they are no strangers to me anymore. sometimes, i would look back and wonder what if i took that path where she and i could be together. i have been trying to imagine what my life could’ve been if i walked along that broken road set before me. but the more i linger on these thoughts; the idea of the possibility that she still owns that sanctuary in me becomes more absurd.

sometimes i would convince myself that i just love the idea of her. for some reason she has become an epitome of the person that i could share a piece of my heart with. i am terrified that i might not be able to move on from her ghost; the most beautiful i had ever seen. i have learned that in someway, it’s harder to detach oneself from a fantasy than to accept an inconvenient reality.

a line was drawn when i walked away. another was drawn when i broke her heart. and beyond those lines was a wall. i was the one who drew the lines and built the wall. i should be burned at a stake for inflicting her pain she didn’t deserve, and yet there she was, silently knocking…

it was christmas eve…

len-len: ron… do you think we could still be friends? i mean real friends?

lucas: of course. why not? i was your friend before. i would like to think that i could still be despite of what happened between us. is everything okay?

len-len: no. nothing. i guess, i just miss you.

lucas: i miss you too. it might be too much to ask because of what happened between us but if you’ll ever need anything or you need someone to talk to…i’m just around, alright?

len-len: you still haven’t changed nor dropped that superman act of yours. i am fine. thank you…

if the heart could be measured i am not sure what part of it still beats for her. or what measure of time is needed to make this stop. with a heart, broken or not, it’s still in her memory that i run home to. a person could have multiple soul mates in one lifetime and i had found one. it was her. my comet, my lighthouse, the breadcrumbs that used to lead me back home. and as much as i wanted to write a never-ending story of our love, it is time to close the book we once tried to write. we were stranded on a crossroads before. but now, it is up to the bridge of chance of destiny to realign the stars that once lighted our paths…