You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


4.1.09

on your doorstep


I SAT ON THE DOORSTEP, arms wrapped on my knees, and waiting. the cold night air caressing my skin was like an intimate lover as the darkness of hopelessness taunts me like a foe. but i still chose to sit on this patch of concrete where your feet used to linger, to leave some white roses and a love letter sealed by nothing but love and longing. every passing moment was a heartbeat and every exhaled breath was a thought for you as faith turns every moving shadow as your own. i chose to sit there because i know you’d come back home. i know you will.

last night was the perfect night for you to come home. a guitar was playing from a distance slightly obliterated by the noise made by speeding vehicles from far away. the golden glow of the lampposts cast long shadows of trees on the empty street, dark and bold against the water-washed pavement. the moon and clouds had conspired and the stars that hovered above me still spelled your name, aligning and screaming to the whole universe that our worlds will always be intertwined. if you only came back last night, it would’ve been the most romantic moment this lifetime could ever witness. i could imagine you wrapped in my arms, slowly dancing underneath the starry skies, bathed in both darkness and in light, celebrating the reunited paths of our lives and of our love. but you didn’t come home last night. perhaps you’ll come home tonight.

i am here again on your doorstep, this time leaning against your blood-red door as i watch a wisp of cloud travel the night sky and cover the faint crescent of the new moon. i am wondering if it’s what’s happening with my heart right now. but i can’t entertain such doubts, and despair, and hopelessness. i will not go weary for every night i sat on this familiar spot, littered with withered roses and unopened letters, hope nurtures my spirit. hope is what gives me happiness. if we begin to seek and wait for love, love begins to seek us. and to save us.

it’s almost midnight. a night and day is almost over and a new one is about to start. you didn’t come home yet again. perhaps you’ll come back tomorrow, and when you do, i’ll be here, waiting; holding fresh white roses on my right hand and a love letter on my left. just follow the trail of chance i have made and there’s no way for you to get lost. it is when you stop trying to seek love and to hope that you’d lost your way home and back to the arms you belong. if waiting could mean waiting for stars to fall, then, i’ll keep waiting. the earth shook when your eyes met mine. years ago, love is an impossibility. but now i have learned that everything is possible; like miracles, destiny, and stars falling from the sky. i chose to be here so that when they started to fall, i’ll be the first to catch one and then, you’d come back and my wish would finally come true.

39 comments:

RonTuron said...

Takte RON!!!

ang ganda ng background song. hahaha.. asteg!

anyway, sabi mo:
"it’s almost midnight. a night and day is almost over and a new one is about to start. you didn’t come home yet again. perhaps you’ll come back tomorrow, and when you do, i’ll be here, waiting; holding fresh white roses on my right hand and a love letter on my left. "

--- ehem, parekoy, i actually believe na (kung para man to dun sa kanya na dahilan ng pagbla-blog leave mU.. well sorta dahilan) e u still havnt moved on pa no? ikaw ha showbez ka katukayo! sobra..

pero alam mo.. with.. ehem..*insert love song here* LOVE, nothings impossible. totoo.. i have (well not me op crs) experienced this din dahil yung kaibigan ko e nagawa yung imposible dahil jan. naiblog ko pa nga...pero syempre dahil malupit sa pagka-kapal ang muka ko.. ibabalandra ko ang link ng post ko dito ...

eto:

http://ron-turon.blogspot.com/2008/09/problemang-pagibig.html

haha.. Goodluck katukayo.

rowjielogy.com said...

hmmm... waiting...

minsan kaya worth it pa maghintay sa taong alam mong hindi ka na mahal?

Dhianz said...

wow... ang galing... sarap basahin tlgah nang post moh... minsan nahihiya na nga akong magkoment kc parang walah nang connection sa post moh at ang galing moh kc...

such as sweet post... suwerte nang magiging next pag-ibig moh... then pag sinulatan moh nang luv letter... 'la nah...

oh yeah since kuya ronz said ganda nang background song... eh chinek koh at tinanggal ang mute sa volume koh... pinakinggan... ganda nga... nd abah... itz david archuleta's song... luv him... i'm a fan of him.. i'm an archie.. 'la lang... naaliw akoh biglah... r u a fan of him too? or gusto moh lang ang song...

so yeah daz all for now good-looking ron... btw i'm also a fan of urs... ingatz... GODBLESS! -di

lucas said...

ron2ron: hehe! ang ganda no? yan ang fave ko sa album ni archie...

nyahaha! kaw talaga...maxadong showbiz ang comment mo..hehe! nope. hindi love life ang dahilan ng blog leave ko... naka-move on nako pramis! hahaha!

sige basahin ko mamaya ha? salamat parekoy!

rowjie: hays...something good always comes to those who wait..i mean those who wait for the right reasons....

dhianz: hehe! ok lang po yun... natutuwa nga ako sa mga comments mo eh... :)

you think? nakakamiss nga magsulat ng mga love letters eh... siguro sa ganitong paraan ko na lang naeexpress :)

i'm an archie fan too :) too bad he didn't win idol pero at least he was able to make an album... this is my fave from his new album... i love the lyrics too...medyo may pagkahopeless romantic kasi ako...and a little old fashioned.

thanks alot, di :)

RJ said...

As usual, I am DEMANDING for a prologue of this! Hahahah! JOKE! Huwag mong sabihing kathang-isip na naman ito, I mean, is this another fictitious lady?!

Tigilan ko nalang kayang basahin itong binabasa kong mga novels dito na ang hahaba at hindi ko matapos-tapos (mabagal talaga akong magbasa). Dito nalang ako sa On the Coffin Rock, isang post lang, parang nagbasa na rin ako ng napakagandang nobela, talo pa ang writing skills ni Stephenie Meyer. Nagiging mas creative pa ang mind ko kasi ako na ang dapat magbigay ng prologue at epilogue nito. At ang mga prologue at epilogue na 'yon ay naaayon sa mga pantasya ko- angkop sa aking mga gustong mangyari.

While you are expressing, I am entertained!

Lance said...

with this kind of writing, dude, a girl shall make you wait no more.. they'll even cling on you even if you never wanted to..hehehe girls easily fall in love to guys who are romantic..

Great to have you back in blogging, Ron!
Happy New Year!

amicus said...

in love? if we begin to seek and wait for love, love begins to seek us. and to save us. from what? from who? you have beautiful prose. asteg. \m/

acey said...

it's kind of sad, luke. i hope you have a happy new year, nevertheless! :D

Elay said...

gosh lucas.. reading that latest entry of yours together with the background song gave me tears. I used to wait for someone but I got tired.

I chose not to wait anymore because if ill keep holding on I'll end up hurting myself.

Oh well.. That's one sad story, I hope the girl you're mentioning in this entry will come back soon.

the writing is superb btw.

alex said...

an emo post for a new year season!

YAY!

i missed your writings,

heartbroken k b ron??

Mugen said...

and still, Lucas longs for someone. :)

PUSANG-gala said...

hay naku mate---buti nagbalik ka na---namis na kita---big hug--keke. di nag---para ako nmn magphinga---haha. pero dinga---i am so excited you are back. life is different when you are around.........

wag ka nang mawawala, kapag nariyan ka akoy sumisigla---kantahin ba.keke

lucas said...

RJ: sorry o disappoint you, mae kaya lang walang prologue to...ehehe...siguro naging habit ko nang i-translate into fivtion yung mga nararamdaman ko but i won't deny na wala akong pinaghuhugutan..hehe!

i am reading stephenie meyer and i am nohing compared to her..hehe! but thanks alot for the boost :) sana matapos mo na yung mga binabasa mo :)

thanks for the encouraging comments, mate :)

lance: i am thrilled o be back, mate :) kaw? tapos na ba ang vacation mo? hehe!

really? i think girls like jerks... hehe!

peace out!

amicus: thanks, amicus :) i guess to save us from misery and a lost life... to save us from loneliness? hehe! i added you to my roll btw.. :)

acey: hi ms. acey! it's nice to see again here :) it's a little sad story but i'll live :) happy new year to you too :)

elay: waiting is tiring bu i guess hope is the one thing that makes he difference...

love and pain is always intertwined but i would like o believe that something always comes to those who wait...

thanks, elay :)

alex: ahehe! ganun ba impression mo? i thought this post speaks of hope...hehe.. at dahil tinanong mo...nope..hindi po ako heartbroken..emo lang..haha!

mugen: lahat naman yata ng single ganun...hahaha!

Ely said...

Galeng! inggit ako. san mo hinuhugot mga to? hehe

lucas said...

pusang gala: ahehe! i am thrilled to be back :) hehe! tlaga lang ha? hehe! thanks...nagbabalik ako upang magpalungkot ng inyong mga buhay..hehe!

i'll hang for a while...pero mukhang magiging busy ako this month...

peace out!

ely: thanks, ely... just one of drafs during my leave :)

ie said...

Waiting is hard. The uncertainty, the long minutes.

But certainly after that is concrete end.

I hope you'd come to a conclusion sooner that you've expected.

Myk2ts said...

lucas, indeed, it's what we choose to cater. i agree with what you've said. what we choose is who we are... :)

REDLAN said...

ayan na naman, bumalik na ang ulirat at dumudugo na ulet ang ilong ko sa kakabasa. sobrang lalim. pero i like the last line. sobrang poetic. keep it up ron!

Chyng said...

you're so back! namiss ko mga entry like this. no else does kasi but you.. haha

endangered ka na pala kung gnaun. jokes!

Welcome back!

Beaugarte said...

I waited before too, on a doorstep, just like you.

I waited, and when he came, he was with someone else.

It sucks to wait.

eliment said...

hi ron,
its nice to see you again on cyber world.

galeng ng story mo.hhmmm pang valentine na yan ah. hehe

wanderingcommuter said...

haaayyy, ang lungkot. angs arap maglaslas. hahaha

Myk2ts said...

onga? san to nangagaling? :)

PROSETITUTE said...

i chose to be here so that when they started to fall, i’ll be the first to catch one and then, you’d come back and my wish would finally come true.

tama ang timpla. bittersweet and hoping. nakaka-inlove. ^^

OT: bakit ba lahat na lang kayo alam ang love of siam. parang ako na lang ang id nakakapanood nun ah.

PROSETITUTE said...

i forgot to ask, since you are talking directly to your character, we are never certain kung lalaki ba o babae ang tinutukoy mo. hihi. joke.

ka bute said...

well, what can i say? i can't help it. two things just went through my mind after reading ur post. one is solitude. the other is forsaken.

whew. i don't want to be in that stage.

i hope u still enjoyed the new year, bro!

lucas said...

ie: i guess that is the real test...the persistence despite the uncertainty.

mykt2s: yep yep :)

red: bakit? nawalan ka ba ng ulirat kanina? ahehe! salamat ng marami :)

chyng: hehe! pansin ko nga..kelangan natin ng maraming emo kasi endangered nako! haha!

salamat, chyng :)

beaugarte: waiting without a concrete end is what really sucks...

eli: hehe! oo! para pahinga ako sa valentines day...baka may kay ka-date ako..hehe!

ewik: maglaslas tayo! haha! bakit ganun? i thought this was a hopeful post...

mykt2s: ewan ko ba? minsan bigla na lang papasok yung scenario sa utak ko.. i was waiting for my best friend to come home tapos ayan... hehe!

prostetitute: hehe! meron bang lalaking nagbibigay ng love letter at bulaklak sa lalaki din??? hahaha! mahilig ako sa mga monologues :) thanks for dropping by...

kabute: one thing is on my mind while writing this--HOPE... that somewhere, my soul mate is waiting for me... haha!

Bryan Anthony the First said...

move it.

yun lang.

PUSANG-gala said...

mukhang inspired na naman magsulat si mate a. who is the inspiration this time?

madjik said...

love indeed has a way of making us hope for something others deemed hopeless..

emo kung emo!!:p

crushed said...

aww..this one made me cry..thank god your back.. :)

KRIS JASPER said...

I have no heart, but Ive fallen in love after reading this... how's that possible?

yoshke said...

the last part reminds me of Michelle Branch's Goodbye to You. Sobrang fave ko yung lines na yun.

"And when the stars fall I will lie awake. You're my shooting star."

Relate na relate ako dyan dati. haha. At kung sinulat mo tong entry na to nung mga panahon na meron akong hinihintay, malamang feel na feel ko rin tong post mo na 'to. haha.

FerBert said...

mas gusto kong basahin yung magiging kasunod ng paghihintay mo..

inintay din kita sa pagbabalik ko sa blogosphere buti bumalik ka na nga.. :D

lucas said...

bryan: your comment reminds me of that song from madacascar...hehe!

pusang-gala: my soulmate of course! kung sino man siya! hehe!

madjik: that is one thing that's makes love so fascinating--it flourishes with hope :)

emo ba ako?? haha!

crushed: i am thrilled to be back too :) thanks :)

KJ: that means you need to reconsider that you're no alien... you're human!!! hehe!!!

yoshke: ahh... i remember that song :) love that line too...

lahat naman yata tayo dumaan sa ganun...sa paghihintay... emo emo emo...hehehe!

ferbert: nako mukhang matatagalan pa yun...hehehe! thrilled to be back too, mate :)

gravity said...

you write with so much love and passion. i really really really love this very hopeful and romantic post. nice to have you back! =)

istepf said...

and here i am imagining u on that doorstep...

e bka nman my utang syo ung babae,, pinagtataguan k kya! hahaha..

mwahh..♥

jonathan said...

Reading old entries. This sia story of hope...well written. I used to look for beautiful literary pieces as monologues for my acting classes or for declamation purposes. This is indeed a winner.

lucas said...

gravity: thanks, gravity :)

steph: haha! baka nga! makakalimutin pa naman ako! hahaha!

jonathan: thanks for the compliment, mate :) so you took acting classes? very interesting :)

btw, i'm adding you to my roll. :P

peace out!