You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


22.1.09

on the coffin rock


SHE AND I SAT ON LARGE ROCK that sat by a shallow river, listening to the music of its cascading waters and of the birds singing by the tall trees in the forest that surrounded us. The panorama was a green-hued illusion, forged by the sunlight that penetrated the green blades of leaves above and bouncing off of the crystal clear waters of the river below. The cool air hugged us as she leaned on my chest with her back on me, warming my body and uplifting my spirit to a heightened sense of elation. The peace and the silence seemed to slow our heartbeats and muted breathing down. There was no place I would rather be.

She looked up to me with her big brown eyes. I couldn’t help but smile behind the book I was pretending to read.

“Tell me something.” She said with a smile on the corners of her lips.

“Tell you what?” I replied as I closed I Sat By The River Piedra and Wept, and looked back.

“Anything
.” She was teasing me, I decided.

“I love you.” I said and planted a careful kiss on her cheek. My reply sounded like a question than an answer.

“I know that already.” She said looking at the blue heavens.

“And how do you know?” I teased back. The smell of her hair that lingered on my nostrils was like an anxiolytic drug.

“I just do.” She answered. Even though I couldn’t see her face, I somehow knew that she was smiling.

“Do you love me?” I asked. I knew the answer of course. I just wanted to hear it again. Even the excitement of hearing the words from her lips made it sound like a chuckle.

“I do, I think.” she said.

“You think?!”
I retorted. And she laughed. It was contagious. I started laughing too.

And then there was silence, absolute that I could hear my self breathe. I could feel her slow breathing on my chest. The place overwhelmed us again, consumed by the majesty of the moment that seemed to hover.

“Of course I do. I don’t seem to care about my thoughts anymore.” She suddenly said, so softly that it was more like a whisper. I found myself standing on the moon. I wrapped my arms around her, my hands on hers, locking her in an embrace that says that I wouldn’t let go. We we’re so close and yet I was missing her so much. But standing on the verge of something I couldn’t stop was a worse torment.

“I know.” I whispered back fighting the urge to turn her head and kiss her.

How do you know?” She asked, our fingers intertwined, playing with each other mimicking our united souls. “That I love you?

“I just do.” We both heaved our deepest breath and sighed. “I never think. Not anymore.” She just replied with a careful smile and a look obviously screaming ‘I told you so.’

We both fell silent again. She took a piece of yellow paper from her pocket. After a few moments, she stood up, offered me her hand, and gave me a smile that rivaled the beauty of the sun that shone that day. I gave my hand willingly, just the way I was surrendering my heart.

We suddenly found ourselves standing by the river adorned by smooth rocks and pebbles, our faces reflected on the current’s steady stream. Her right hand was holding mine, and on the other was the yellow paper she creatively folded into a swan. It was art that crossed our paths and it was also art that witnessed the end.

“Have faith in your heart, Ron, for I trust in it.” She said with eyes filled with longing and sadness and hope and tears.

“I will. I will miss you.”
I said with a broken voice and a broken heart. I couldn’t stop myself anymore. I pulled her towards me and kissed her like I have never kissed before. I should, for I never loved this way; not this much.

Then, she carefully placed the paper swan on the cascading water. With hands holding each other, we watched as it went, freely surrendering itself to the currents that would carry it to the sea, with it, our hopes, and dreams, and prayers, and love that would someday pave the path to the endless road we’re on…







42 comments:

kosa said...

advance valentines day post?
nice one!!
para akong nanonood ng isang eksena sa pelikula.

RJ said...

[Location?! Naalala ko yu'ng photos mo sa Friendster during your camping sa ...Trekkers.]

How I wish the (yellow?!) paper swan had survived and finally reached the sea unscathed; that it has stayed impermeable until today because of your love for each other.

lucas said...

kosa: hehe! nope. definitely not a valentine's post. thanks, kosa!

RJ: ahehe! sa buruwisan yun, dito yun sa laguna. :) thanks, RJ :)

Mugen said...

When I write my own love story, I wish to be as eloquent and poetic as you.

Kudos.

haley said...

..and then i thought i was the one with you,

that day on the rock, hahaha..

..come by tomorrow, ok?

..love you, luke.

Cutter Pilar said...

why? she's leaving? ang ganda ng post mo pero malungkot... i read by the river piedra but nakalimutan ko na yung storya... :) smile... what's meant to be is meant to be... sabi nga nya, have faith in your heart, yourself and your love... :) it might take you a longer way than you expected it.. ;)

Cutter Pilar said...

PS: HOMAYGAD! I LOVE CANON!!!!!!!!!! i've been trying na pag-aralan to sa organ. :D ngayon ko lang narinig tong improv.....ek ek!! ganda shemes! thanks! :)

REDLAN said...

Napaka romantic naman. Yan ang pinakamagandang alaala surely!

lucas said...

mugen: thanks so much, mugen. i really appreciate it especially coming from you :)

cuter pilar: it was the last book i read. it's a great read. it's about 2 separated lovers that net again. malungkot din ending nun :)

ang ganda no? this is by far the best version i've heard so far :)

thanks for the drop :)

hales: hays...again one of my hopeless romantic fantasies. it may sound weird but i feel happy writing like this. :)

i'll be there :) i love you hales...

redlan: pinakamagandang pantasya actually :) hehe!

kokoi said...

nakakakurot naman ng puso..

Chyng said...

Teary eyed ako. Heart felt!

Bravo!

Reena said...

you have great writing skills! :) so ikaw si Ron sa story? i enjoyed your post.

thanks for dropping by my blog. cu around.

Elay said...

I can really picture the scene. haaay.. i love the way you write! ahahaaha.. cool!

Denis said...

bastard.


whats up with this writing?


and whats up with the BG music?




tagos eeeh

parang SONY tv eh, the words came into vivid scenes hehe

api tayo RON!

Ishna Probinsyana said...

Ang ganda naman ng pagkakasulat. Basta mga ganyan, gustong gusto kong basahin. I'm a sucker for this kind of literary piece! LOL.

Nice, nice, ron! Ako, dati may diary ako na sinusulat ko yung pantasya ko. lolol. Like kung anong gusto kong mangyayari sa love story ko. Kaso tinigilan ko na. Hindi naman nangyayari eh. *bitter ocampo in the house* HAHAHAHA.

gravity said...

this is simply... uh, heartwrenching... i feel sadness in this post, but i feel the love overflowing..

just a thought about the 'i think' answer. it hurts to hear that as opposed to hearing 'i know' or 'i feel'

wala lang

lucas said...

kokoi: thanks for the compliment :)

chyng: musta na chyng? :)

thanks po! :)

reena: hehe. not exactly. i wish i was that Ron.

peace out!

elay: thanks :) i love the way you write too :)

denis: haha! natawa ako dun sa SONY! Hehe! thanks for the compliments :) i love pachelbel's Canon.

ishna: so i assume hopeless romantic ka rin? hehe! thanks!

what do you think of guys who write on diaries? i had one. then, i gave it as present to someone special. hehe!

gravity: thanks for the compliment...

hehe. i agree. but she was joking. haha!

see you around :)

karmi said...

dont tell me, fiction na naman ito. haynaku ron, san mo hinuhugot ung idea mo sa mga kwento mo?? pwede penge? hehe. ^_^

i love it. sad. touching. haay. bakit nga ba kasi tayo nagmamahal ng sobra tapos eh mawawala rin pala..

anu ba yan. emo. :P hehehe. :)

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

Feeling ko ako 'yung nsa love story na iyan... Hehe :)


Wala lang. Nainlove ako sa story.... Sana ganyan din ako kagaling.

FerBert said...

napipicture ko yung bawat eksena parang pelikulang pang oscar.. galing

lucas said...

karmi: hehe! i'm sorry to disappoint you but yes. this is fiction. haha! hindi to pwede sa ekwento mo. ;P nako marami kasi akong pantasya sa buhay...hehe!

thanks alot, karmi :)musta ka naman dyan?

lionheart: pareho tayo! hehe! akala ko rin ako yung nasa story. hehe! ganyan kalakas ng imagination ko. ahaha!

thanks :)

ferbert: pang-Oscars??? wow...salamat naman, dude! :)

flamindevil said...

ngayon ko lang nabisita blog mo.ganda ng background music..anong title nun?nung una,kala ko mala blairwitch yung topic mo kasi on the coffin rock.hindi pala.kaka-tats naman. :p

JoShMaRie said...

u never fail to impress me lucas! :)

pero ang lungkot... kelan ka magpo-post ng masaya? :P

lucas said...

flamindevil: it's Canon by Pachelbel. it's a classic. but the one on my site is just one of the gazillion versions out there! :)

SA WAKAS! may nakahula din kung bakit on the coffin rock ang title ng site ko. hehe! fave horror movie ko yun :)

thanks for the drop :)

joshmarie. siguro kapag may GF nako! hehe! :) thanks, alot po :)

Pao Pielago said...

heartfelt. nice story. :)

*sniff-sniff*

i added you by the way to my blogroll. :)

Lance said...

ang sweet nga...hehehe!
this is a very nice post, not to say the post's name is the same as of the header name..hehe

..paper swan, parang prison break...hehehe

Good day, mate

lucas said...

pao: thanks. linked you up too :)

lance: haha! actually dun ko nakuha yung idea nung paper swan. haha!

utoysaves said...

i haven't got the time yet, i'm down with flu, will leave for Normandy this weekend and got tons of other things to do.

when all of these are done with, i'll return to this blog and read some.

God bless!

eliment said...

wow..kakainlove naman ito. valentine na talaga!

i-share ko lang ang quote na ito:
"Malaya kang umiyak... hangang sa wala ka ng mailuha. Malaya kang sabihin ang gusto mong sabihin... hangang sa mapaos ka na. Malaya kang lumaban... hangang sa maging manhid na ang katawan mo. Higit sa lahat, malaya kang umibig... hangang sa masaktan ka.. hangang sa malimutan mo na ang iyong sarili.. parang usok". astig diba?

JoShMaRie said...

RON, wat's your email? me itatanong lang ako. :) at saka pwede ba akong humingi ng description ng site mong io. :P

lucas said...

eli: malayo pa valentines ah...hehe! january pa lang di ba? hehe!

parang nabasa ko na tong quote na to somewhere...dito rin sa blog yata.

thanks, eli ;)

utoy saves: get well soon mate and have a safe trip to Normandy! mukhang malamig dun ah...hehe!

God bless you too.

KRIS JASPER said...

You're saying it's not you? Not even from experience? HIstory perhaps? lol!

Well, it's just cool that his name is also "Ron".

flor said...

oh my gosh, its so beautiful. where did you learn to write like this. nakakasenti kahit magisa ako at loveless. anyway, ang ganda talaga.promise. sobrang nageemote na ko ngayon

alex said...

yii hiii todong emo na to ron


where is she now???

dedpish said...

hwaw. so talagang inglisan kayo? hehe

sweet! kilig! haha!

xD

eliment said...

tama ka..nabasa ko lang din yan sa blog eh. hehe

lucas said...

KJ: hehe! yeah. biruin mo yun kapangalan ko siya! hahaha!

parang nachachallenge ako dyan sa call center na yan. kung by next month wala pa ding work, papatusin ko na...hehe! :)

alex: thanks alex! dyan lang siya sa tabo tabi..hehe

dedpish: oo! haha! ganun kami kalupit! haha!

eli: i knew it! hehe!

MAY said...

hey there... :) missed me?? haha.. grabe, alamo bang napaiyak moko sa post na to?? seriously.. naiyak talga ko.. I dunno why.. but I definitely imagined every word that you wrote and every feeling that came with it.. you have so much power in your words.. dang! now I have to buy tissues pa before I go read your posts... :) anyway, I really love this post.. :)

istepf said...

mga kapatid,, wg po kyong magpapaniwala ky ron,, sya tlga ung ron n un! hahahaha..=)

nkakainis k nman eh,, bkit ang emo n nman?? i actually thought this time its a happy ending..

nga pla, ganda nung quote n namention ni eliment.. ay panalo un! hehe..=)

hope everythings ok nald,, u got me worried..

lucas said...

Gosh MAY!!! is that you?!!! wow...does this mean you're really back?! wow...i am so thrilled! :)

thanks :) i don't know what to say. nakakatuwa naman at may napapaiyak akong mga tao..hehe!

glad you're back :)

steph: hehe! guy's sa akin kayo maniwala..ako ang author! hahaha!

i'm fine steph..wala lang talaga akong pera kanina..hihi!

sorry to disappoint you pero i love tragedies..hehe!

Ycej eiram said...

naalala ko lang yung break up ko with my Boyfriend.

Sometimes, secretly, i wish he'll come back to me. Na sana mag cross paths ulit kami along the road.

Who knows right?

you're definitely a sTory teller!

lucas said...

thanks, ycej:) if you're really detined for each other, the Universe will conspire for you to find each other :)