You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


5.2.09

the book and the violin


I RAN AS FAST AS I COULD and yet every stride I took seemed like a step backward. I couldn’t escape from myself. It was foolish of course. And yet I persisted. Anywhere was better than where I was. I ran the miles against the wailing winds, bullets of raindrops and eternal shadows that swallowed that night. I took the roads that I thought I alone knew. I was alone. Exasperated. Almost hopeless.

Then I came into a halt. I caught my breath, my hands on my knees, struggling to gasp oxygen into my air-deprived heart and mind. I saw and sat on a wooden bench next to a dead lamp post, ominous in contrast to the trees beyond. I tried to think. But there was nothing that made sense that night; only noise invoked by the rain against the leaves of trees, my frozen skin, and everything else. There was nothing I could do but watch my feet. I was sitting along a narrow path of cobblestones, cold underneath me, leading towards a destination I didn’t know.

I was freezing. Rubbing my wet hands together was as pointless as lighting a cigarette in the middle of a storm. And in a heartbeat it stabbed me. It was loneliness darker than the night. I wept as camouflaged tears escaped my eyes. My sobs were muted by the storm that reflected what was deep inside my heart. The night and my heart was one.

I took out a small book from my pocket. It was my favorite book—a chronicles of poetry and stories I loved so much. I was about to open it when I heard something--sounds of disturbed puddles of water. Someone was coming and by the sound of it, was approaching in haste. I looked up and saw a young lady wearing a tarnished black dress. She looked at me with those eyes I knew so well. She was the last person I expected to see, but her presence was comforting nonetheless. It dawned to me that I was no longer alone. I was no longer the only person dripping wet in the rain. Barefoot. Crazy.

She sat beside me, a violin resting on her lap. She looked up to the heavens her long wet hair emphasized every inch of beauty the scarce light could touch on her face. And yet sadness was etched on it reflecting on mine with a shade of awe.

“Will you play something for me?” I asked. The rain dramatically toned down and turned into a shy drizzle. The clouds retreated revealing the stars. It was like the night wanted to listen.

She looked deep into my eyes into which I got lost. The next moment she was gracefully moving the bow back and forth against the strings of her violin. The saddest song echoed though the night in a melody that reverberated in the chambers of my heart. Tears fell from her eyes like rain water dripping from her violin. I felt the urge to heal her pain. I wished I could.

“Read me your favorite line.” She said after playing the last note of her song, her eyes fixed on the book I was holding then on me.

I opened it and read, “The moment we begin to seek love; love begins to seek us. And to save us.”

And then suddenly the lamp post came to life showering our path with a warm golden glow of light. She smiled and I returned it. Once there was darkness and then came hope.

“Will you come with me?” I asked offering my hand and beckoning her towards the path unknown. “I do not know where it leads, but I would like to take it with you.”

She willingly gave her hand and said, “I know the end of this road. It just depends on what you want it to be.”

“Then I am not lost anymore.” I decided.

She and I set out to take that road as I read my book while she played the violin, hoping we would end up on the same end as the soft rain fell like fireflies from the sky.




. . . . .

This scene burned in my head for quite some time now. I am glad I was able to immortalize it through words at last.

35 comments:

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

Owh...

That's so sweet...

I wonder if I can face it in reality...

RJ said...

Buti nalang dumating siya kaagad habang hindi mo pa nabuksan ang favorite book mo. Otherwise, it must have been soaked by the rain!

Naging creative na naman ang mind ko. Ako na naman kasi ang gumawa ng storya kung bakit ako tumatakbo ng milya-milya habang may matinding bagyo.

Ang ganda ng usapan nilang dalawa. Nakaka-inspire! At siyempre dahil ako ang magbibigay ng ending, happy talaga ito.

Thanks Ron for giving me the chance to choose what kind of ending this story has.

gravity said...

your descriptions were so vivid, almost crystal clear amidst the somewhat gloomy scenario.. very hopeful, and cathartic as well. i like it =)

lucas said...

zara: you can try :)

RJ: hahaha! oo nga noh? ano naman istory nabuo mo?

sana nga happy ending to. hehehe!

Dylan Dimaubusan said...

"The moment we begin to seek love; love begins to seek us..."

wonderful.

Ycej eiram said...

Its like watching a scene from a movie. Very well written!

KRIS JASPER said...

Inspired now eh?

I hope she's no longerplaying sad songs in that violin...

madjik said...

i like it when it rains.. too bad i don't get it much here on the desert.

eliment said...

galing ng story na to. isa ba ito sa sinasabi mong imbento?hehe uy magpublish ka kaya ng book? ako rin e plano ko magpublish...pero coloring book lang. hahaha

Mugen said...

And you were able to immortalize it in a way only true poets would. :)

Denis said...

another nice post man,

kelan na ang compilation in hard copy?

hehe

---------

mabuti naman ikaw ba? kau? haha

lucas said...

thanks, amigos and amigas :P

enjoy the rainy day! wohoooooo!

Mon said...

Ang galing ng pagkakasulat nito!! Parang eksena sa isang classic film.. astig!

Fjordan Allego said...

"The moment we begin to seek love; love begins to seek us..."

gusto ko rin yung linyang to.. iba ka talaga!! kakahanga!! wohoo!!

balentimes na talaga!

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

ruff nurse-du-jour said...

i think i already knew what the ending was.

nice story ron. :-)

lucas said...

ahehe..it's a line from paolo coleho's "by the river piedra i sat down and wept".

ruff: thanks :P

.pOot! said...

kuya lucas,

two thumbs up for you. that was really sweet...

your new neighborhood,
.poot!

REDLAN said...

another romantic novel of Lucas. Isipin ko na lang in love ako. lol. Great job!

Summer said...

kamusta na ang kamukha kong kalbo? lol.

lucas said...

poot: hi poot! :) maraming slamat and thanks for droppng by :P

red: ganun na nga lang..hehe! ganun din inisip ko nung sinulat ko to! haha :P

summer: magkamukha ba tayo? hmmmm..haha! thsnk for dropping by :)

Summer said...

wehehhe. masrap naman ang broccoli ah. :D

magkamukha? hm...ang pagiging kalbo lang :D

vanvan said...

AY LAB ET!!


NOT JUST ANOTHER LOVE POST???

ATLEAST ANG LALIM NG ISANG ITO..

WEW!

Lance said...

sweet naman... lapet na rin ang balentines..heheh
sadly enough i am still having issues with my girl, but im hoping it'll be gone before the day of love.. naks..

oi, your header reminds me so much of my construction worker days...0)

gentle said...

"...as the soft rain fell like fireflies from the sky".

haynaku, wat can i say? romantic ng image ron! :)

eli said...

minsan kailangan nating maging sweet para maipadama natin ang nararamdaman natin.

lucas said...

summer: nilulunok ko na kasi agad! haha!

vanvan: salamat po :P thankd for the drop :)

lance: sana maayos niyo agad. you don't want to join the club! hahaha1 :P

gentle: thanks, gentle :)

eli: i couldn't agree more :)

Mac Callister said...

ang lalim nitong post mong to muntik ko ng di maarok hehehe

hmmm,lufet mong magsulat a.magaling magaling magaling!

Roland said...

woooo, galing talaga!!! sarap ulit uliting basahin.

very nice story indeed.

Elay said...

*clap clap clap

it's really heartwarming to know that there is someone who would be with you in the middle of the rain. Someone who would somehow make the deafening silence bearable.

onatdonuts said...

i miss reading your blog.

Galing mo talaga! naks. :-)

haleyjames said...

...lucas,

this is great.Ü im listening to album leaf right now, glad you liked it. hehe. i miss you. lamu ba? bagong trip ko eh -skateboard- hahaha! goodluck talaga sa bugbog kong katawan. hehe. anyway, may date ka ba sa balentayns? kung wala, tambay na lang tayo. hehe. bili ako ng bagong bonggang-bonggang pc.Ü at magugulat ka pag nakita mo ko ngaun, hahaha!

hope to see you soon, mwah.Ü

...hales.Ü

lucas said...

mac: thanks, mac :P

roland: salamat pareng roland :)

elay: it's really hard to live in this world with that someone...

kuya onat: NABUHAY KA! ano nang nagyari sayo?! hehe! at bigla kang nawala sa sirkulasyon?

hales: OMG!!! wag mo sabihing nagpakalbo ka na rin! hahaha! or emo na rin??? hahaha! well, bigla naman akong naexcite! :)..nakabili ka na or bibili ka palang?

i so love album leaf...best heard kapag nasa bus! hehe! i miss you hales! mwah!

tinay patadyong said...

all of a sudden, i want to have a boyfriend. :D you're as piercig as ever ron.

lucas said...

tinay: thanks, tinay :) so why don you? wala ka bang suitors ngayon? :)

tinay patadyong said...

haha WALA. pero luckily, i don't feel ugly. hahaha. damn and why im answering you this way :D