You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


17.2.09

the neglected road


THERE WAS A MAP in my hands. I had everything I need and yet I still felt so lost. The path I ought to take was laid in front of me and yet the drive to push through seemed to lack. There was something wrong with me.

I took another closer look of the map and imagined the destination in my head. And there it was. Small, almost hidden amongst crisscrossing roads was another route to where I am headed. It was there all along but I ignored it and never considered taking its winding road; ominous and scary at first glance.

For a moment my life suddenly flashed-forward. I imagined myself five years from now. I wondered how I would look like. How much change that measure of time would cause me? The image was a little vague but what I saw was beautiful. I had hope. I have been inspired.

The path is not necessarily easy but the end of it is so promising. I guess things are supposed to be this way. You have to suffer first. I am not certain if this is what my heart desires, but at least I have taken a step, which is so difficult for someone who doesn’t know what he wants anymore. A different journey awaits me. I will be in a different place far away from my comforts. But I guess it’s all for the better. This is an opportunity of a lifetime and I have to grab it. I think I want to.

My heart beats both excitement and anxiety for what lies ahead, uncertain what emotion would win the battle in the end. Change is scary but it’s the only way out of this monotonous life I have right now. Fear is almost constant, but fighting it this time would make the difference.

It’s only a matter of time now before everything changes.







34 comments:

Reyn said...

We define our future, Ron. And it's up to us whether we choose the path that will make us happy or not.


As we go along the way, we meet a lot of people, we experience a lot of things. Just enjoy the journey.


Ron, I wish I could talk to you soon. I have something to share with you.

Roland said...

youre leaving??? noooooooooooo ...ang OA ng reaction ko! ...i wish you all the best ron, wherever your faith brings you... and whatever path you choose, d2 lang me... just dont forget to blog all of your endeavors. :)

RJ said...

Dalawang words lang ang masasabi ko sa post na ito: Very inspirational! o",)

Chyng said...

Nice!
I'd prefer change, kesa same old same old..
Boring!

eli said...

i agree with you reyn.

ron, if you are to chose bet left and right...be sure to be ready for whatever consequence it may bring you.

failure is not just a failure. it has a lesson.

gravity said...

the uncertainty of tomorrow.. the roads untraveled.. we'll never really know what shall happen in the future. what's important is that we hold tight on to our faith and our paths shall all be clear.

i hope you find your niche, whatever it is that your heart truly desires =)

Denis said...

ron, is this you in contemporary delivered in poetical stance?

lucas said...

reyn: hey...thanks! ano na nangyari? kwentuhan tayo mamaya :P

roland: i'm not leaving. not yet. mga plano pa lang pero hopefully magkatotoo :) thanks, roland. i miss the 'personal' blog :)

RJ: thanks, RJ. glad you're inspired :) God bless you.

chyng: tama ka. i am so bored right now gusto ko ng maglaho bigla! (poof!)

eli: yeah. we should be responsible for the choices that we make.pero ewan ko ba> napaka nega ko ma-isip..hays...

thanks :P

gravity: thanks, gravity for your comment :) i really appreciate it. nareceive ko po yung mga comments. uhmm...moderated kaya hindi agad sila lumabas hehe...

Godspeed.

denis: yeah... you could say that, i guess :)

PUSANG-gala said...

"path is not necessarily easy but the end of it is so promising"---that means OPTIMISM. good. that' how it should be. always keep walking and always bring with you your light~~~

karmi said...

sabi nga diba, change is the only thing constant in our world. :) kaya wala tayong ibang magagawa kundi ang tanggapin ito.. its easier said that done, but we have to deal with it.

*hugs* we all have doubts and fears, normal lang yan.. :)

KRIS JASPER said...

Are you going somewhere far?

Far from the comforts you're used to?

hmmmmm.....

saan ka pupunta? I hope not sa Iraq.

_ice_ said...

life is what you make it, if we decide to be happy, we can, its a choice ron.

"I am not certain if this is what my heart desires, but at least I have taken a step"
- you will never know unless you'll not gonna try... believe in yourself.

"I imagined myself five years from now. I wondered how I would look like"
- don't bother too much about your future, you might disappointed,
future means surprises.
today is a gift that's why its called present.

sensya ka na ngayon lag me naka pag bisita sa blog mo..

tama ba pinagsasabi ko?

take care...

ice - http://sedfre21.blogspot.com

MAY said...

go go go ron... follow where your heart leads you... it really doesn't matter if you fail or succeed in the end... I guess the important thing is you satisfy your passion and to trust your self... I really am hoping you would be happy with whatever decision you make and where ever it takes you, just hang in there, ayt? :)

cheers! :)

Presiden Prabowo said...

jangan suka berantem ya nak!

onatdonuts said...

just pray ok ron.

- suportahan taka. hahaha

lucas said...

pusang gala: saang post yun mate? sorry baka nakaligtaan ko lang. :) thanks :)

karmi: thanks alot karmi! :) minsan kasi nahihirapan akong mag-adjust sa mga pagbabago :)

KJ: no, mate. and iraq is definitely not my destination! hahaha!


ice: tama ka, mate :) happiness is indeed a choice. and it does not do well to worry about the future for it has worries of its own.

ok lang, mate. busy ka yata eh..hehehe!

May: thanks so much, May, for the advice :) i really appreciate it. i', sorry hindi ako makapagcomment. ewan ko ba? hays...hindi nagreregister yung account ko sa comment box mo.

presiden: i'm sorry i couldn't understand your comment :) but thanks for dropping by. :)

bena said...

change is unavoidable and bravo for taking that step ron! how i wish i'm strong as you are in embracing changes.. hayyss..

Mon said...

Wow!! Napaka-lalim! This entry reminds me of the poem "The Road not Taken" by Robert Frost.

So you're gonna be a military nurse? wow that's so cool!! Don't be scared dude! Wish u all the best!!

REDLAN said...

Goodluck wherever you go. Opportunity yan. Ingat ka lang.

lucas said...

bena: thanks bena :) but i guess that's still left to be seen...hays...kakaba.

mon: thanks for the comment :) hindi ko pa nababasa yung kay robert frost. is it a novel? yeah... i hope so. thanks, mate :P

red: thanks red! opportunity rarely knocks . i better grab this one :)

Hi! I'm Grace said...

Hi Ron, you got a cool blog in here. No wonder you got the whole world commenting on your posts. I wonder how you got to have PR3? I hope you can share to me your ingredients. :)

Dylan Dimaubusan said...

"so difficult for someone who doesn’t know what he wants anymore"

Ito ang kinakatakot kong mangyari sa buong buhay ko..

Hmm, and I guess we're both bored and want changes in our lives right now.. pero kailangan handa ka sa lahat ng pwedeng mangyari..

Parang pag may codeable kang pasyente, expect the best and the worst.. dapat advance ang utak sa pwedeng mangyari..

Whatever are your heart's desire God knows it all.

Cheers RON!!!

eliment said...

ang nega ay nasa isip lang..hindi mawawala yan. kahit sino dinadalaw ng nega. try to ignore it nalang para masmapansin mo yong positive.

star said...

Hi Friend.. Interesting post.. Keep up the good work.. Do visit my blog and post your comments...Take care mate.. Cheers!!!

lucas said...

grace: hi, grace :) thanks. uhmmm...i'm not sure what the secret ingredients are but i guess it all comes down to the content of your posts...hehe!

dylan: thanks for those very inspiring words. you sound like
a very good nurse :)

eli: tama ka. mind set lang yun. the mind is a battlefield to be won

star: hi, star. thanks for the drop :)

Kenna said...

Lucas.... Lucas I love... lol no connection with your post sorry.

Kenna said...

ahaha fine....

jonathan said...

Change is needed to grow. Embracing changes will be a challenge but a welcome one. Step forward, face it, and learn to live with change. We, the readers, will be here for you.

Ycej eiram said...

Change is inevitable...

Scary but that's life. Its part of growing up

Rhaingel said...

I know there are a lot of uncertainties. They are what makes life very thrilling after all. Choose your path and then whatever happens, love your choice. You wanted it at some point. The most important thing is to be happy while taking that path. I am sure you'll learn from it. Good luck. :)

lucas said...

kenna: ahhhhh...no comment.

jonathan: thanks for those inspirong words, jonathan :)

ycej: growing is sometimes bery hard.

rhaingel: i agree. if life has no dynamics, it's just plain boring.

tinay patadyong said...

sometimes it is good to betray wars :)

lucas said...

tinay: i agree, i guess (sana alam ko ibig sabihin nung comment mo T_T)

yas.tolentino said...

ehe. naalala ko tong poem na to sa paperback version ng The Zahir ni Paolo Coelho...

When you leave for Ithaca,
may your journey be long
and full of adventures and knowledge

Do not be afraid of Laestrigones, Cyclopes
or furious Poseidon;
you won’t come across them on your way
if you don’t carry them in your soul,
if your soul does not put them in front of your steps.

I hope your road is long.
May there be many a summer morning,
and may the pleasure of seeing the first ports
bring you great joy.
Try to visit the markets of Phoenicia
and buy the very best.
Go to the cities of Egypt
and learn from a people with so much to teach.

Don’t lose sight of Ithaca,
for that’s your destination.
But take your time;
better that the journey lasts many a year
and that your boat only drops anchor on the island
when you have grown rich
with what you learned on the way.

Don’t expect Ithaca to give you many riches.

Ithaca has already given you the voyage;
without Ithaca you would never have parted.

Ithaca gave you everything and can give you no more.

If in the end you think that Ithaca is poor,
don’t think that she has cheated you.
Because you have grown wise and lived an intense life,
and that’s the meaning of Ithaca.


crossroads...crossroads...

Yas