You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


1.2.09

in memoriam


People in white stained the roads dragging their feet, their faces covered in tear-soaked handkerchiefs, and skin smoldering against the late morning sun. The sun appeared that day with a smile but they greeted it with nothing but grimaces. The world should’ve stopped but it didn’t. Instead it continued to slither underneath their feet where tears from their sleep-deprived eyes fell and dried away.

They walked on, tailing the vehicle that carried him to his final resting place; distorted faces reflected on its shiny body. Coins littered their paths and the smell of death lingered in the smoke-polluted air they breathed. Songs of lament amplified every ounce of loneliness, draining the hearts, drowning the spirit. It was a long walk. They didn’t know if they want it to end. Every step was a prayer; a knife jabbed in a heart that misses a person so dear and loved. The journey tested the body but every moment of it challenged their grieving spirits.

People leave the earth the same way they came to it-- in ash and dust. As the white coffin got swallowed by the earth, cries pierced the silence that cradled the final moments. It was human grief as palpable as the clouds that stained the deep blue sky. Every jab of a spade, every ounce of soil dug and every flower cast felt like an urge to scream to the heavens in an act to separate the few remaining drops of loneliness from their hearts. Acceptance would come in the right time. Pain is inevitable but bound to fade and for hope to flourish.

The ground leveled and the fresh mound of soil where a rectangular black hole used to be was covered in wreaths and flowers. They started to scatter away as white balloons flew like birds towards the endless heights of the sky. There was no looking back. Hearts felt buried with him. The last songs echoed. And finally, they traversed the vast stretch of green grass towards a new journey. It was the journey home. It’s amazing how grief unites people but most importantly, how they find life in the darkness of death.

The air stood still that day and so are the hearts that promised to miss him forever.

. . .

In Memoriam

RODOLFO “RUDY” AGUILAR
1944-2009

They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary,
They will walk and not be faint.

-- Isaiah 40:29-31


. . .


He was haley's uncle and my friend. She and I will never forget his smile that never seemed to fade...


31 comments:

ZARA 札拉 [사랑해~] said...

I hope that he'll Rest In Peace...

May God bless him...

tinay patadyong said...

life is more painful than death. :)

Ishna Probinsyana said...

Ang lungkot naman ng first entry for the month of February. :(

And yes, acceptance may may take long but it'll surely come at the right time.

God bless his soul.

Leoj said...

ikli lang ng buhay no?(wala akong masabi, I was actually speechless sa post mo)

> Vanny < said...

condolence.
this kind of things really makes me sad. :(

Fjordan Allego said...

minsan, naisip mo na rin ba yung biglang sumagi sa akin sa isip ko ilang araw pa lang ang nakakaraan. Na i plurk ko rin to. Second time ko pa lang itong ikukuwento ngayon. Nauna ko na itong naikwento sa kapatid ko.

Ganito, nakikita ko yung sarili ko na patay na. Na, hindli lang basta namatay dahil sa aksidente o sa karamdaman. Parang mas akma yung term na 'karumaldumal.' Awkward yung feeling sa akin. Hindi ko maimagine talaga yung sarili ko na ganun. Parang lahat sa pakiramdam lang. Tapos all I can see are my friends and loved ones na hagulgol kung umiyak. At ang weird pa rito e, hindi ko siya sa panaginip nakita. Gising ako nun. Mulat. Nasa biyahe ako at bigla lang siyang sumagi sa isip ko.

Parang pakiramdam ko tuloy, may mangyayaring hindi maganda sa akin sa mga darating na araw.Ewan ko ba.

Pasensya na, walang kinalaman tong comment ko sa post mo. Meron pala, pahapyaw lang.

My condolences pala.

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

KRIS JASPER said...

My condolences... It's scary to think that we'll all be in that space later on in our life.

kosa said...

my condolence pareko!
ganun talaga ang buhay.. may nauuna at nahuhuli!
may he rest in peace!

odin hood said...

condolence..

r-yo said...

sad...

Leoj said...

magcomment ako dito last time pero di pala napost.bakit kaya?

anyway, ikli lang ng buhay natin no?

(wala ako masabi, speechless ako sa post)

Leoj said...

ooops! sori, bangag lang ako nung isang gabi, subject to your approval pala ang comment.

gravity said...

so beautifully written. you remind me of gabriel garcia marquez' way of writing.

condolences to his family and friends...

haley said...

...luke,

thank you.

Denis said...

awww, its inevitable and i hate it

bena said...

condolence to you ron..

REDLAN said...

Nakakalungkot kapag iniwan ka ng isang tao lalo na kung pumanaw ang pag uusapan.

condolence para kay hale.

Dylan Dimaubusan said...

Nice way to release whatever pain and sorrow you have deep inside..

Condolence bro..

Mugen said...

I find your details very life-like, the actions, the descriptions, everything. I will make a conscious attempt to be as vivid as you.

Excellent eulogy. You moved us ron.

RJ said...

Naalala ko tuloy ang aking mga mahal-sa-buhay na namayapa na... =,{

May he rest in peace.

-----
MAGKANO KAYA ang kailangang puhunan para maging isang publisher? Parang gusto kong i-finance ang mga gawa mo, Ron. Sa tingin ko matatalo sina JK Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, etc.

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

Valentines Day pa naman...

But anyway...

CONDOLENCE sa family niya....

~Kinesics said...

I feel you, I feel you.

Enough said.

~kinesics

_ice_ said...

wen my tatay died kala ko katapusan na ng mund, ang hirap, pero i learned a lot lalo na maging independent.

ayaw ko pang mamatay, takot ako..

Reena said...

"Acceptance would come in the right time. Pain is inevitable but bound to fade and for hope to flourish."

It's okay to grieve. My condolences and prayers...

PUSANG-gala said...

RODOLFO “RUDY” AGUILAR---sino sya Ron?

hope not who I was thinking---

what happened? sinu sya?
I suddenly feel like a switch was turned off inside me...... I felt the article and the name at the end of shocked me~~~~

Have I been so disconnected with my mate these days? I'm sorry---I want to rekindle the bond.

PUSANG-gala said...

mate---I left my email add in your chatbox---pls feel free ---no commitments---keke.

please delete it after seeing it. thanks. take care

Chyng said...

Tapos na mission na ni uncle dito. I'll include him in my prayers.

krishA said...

Well everyone's already said the same things and im quite speechless. you write well.

eli said...

natouch ako..matagal nag-pause. nagiisip ng sasabihin.

haay..may mga tao talagang pahirap kalimutan at kahit pumanaw na ay pinipilit na buhayin sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga alaala.

i am nobe. said...

eerie. i'm sorry for your loss.

love,
nobe

www.deariago.blogspot.com
www.nobe112681.blogspot.com
www.babyproblogger.blogspot.com

Summer said...

nakakalungkot. :( rest in peace...