You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


23.5.09

for my darling







Shed those tears on the ground or

Eat the same dust from your mouth

Sing me a sad song—

The lyrics on your ashes I spoke.


Tremble for me, my darling

Like I am your greatest fear

In your bed, a mortal foe

Stay awake or sleep forevermore.


A bouquet of flowers I give to you

Scarlet like a dying sun, as dead as your love

Fall hard on the earth where I stood

Like a rootless tree barren of fruits.


Run for me in haste for your life

Drink sweat if you thirst

From the bottle filled with yourself—

A lost taste lasting on my tongue.


Write me a thousand letters

That I promise to never read

Let an unkindness send them not a murder

For good fortune to me they will bring.


Then kill yourself as if you’re alive

But stab my heart first as if I have not died

Dig our holes, with your hands as spades

Bury me with you, my darling

And this anger as lights from our eyes fade.



35 comments:

ShatterShards said...

Why so negative, Ron?
This one's too heavy for brisk reading, I have to read it again after I've gone home from the office.

And why must the letter be delivered by an unkindness of ravens and not a murder of crows? I'm not too familiar with the Raven's mythology, though. The Crow, on the other hand can guide the dead back into the living; the opposite of the sparrow that guides the recently dead into the afterlife.

lucas said...

nako mate, hindi ko rin alam eh... this was once a draft i've written a month ago i think. when i write poetry, basta lang sila lumalabas! hehehe!

sa one tree hill ko nakuha yung idea. a single raven is a bad omen. an unkindness is a sign of good fortune. Really? they guide the dead back to the living... it makes sense! :)

jonathan said...

The words are rich and powerful but the imagery is startling. I sensed combined feelings of love undying and remorse. Where do you get inspirations?

lucas said...

jon: yeah...i agree with you. the words startled even me when i wrote this a month ago. i'm not sure where the inspiration came from. they just came to me one night while listening to this song by deathcab.

RJ said...

Ayos, nilalaro mo talaga ng husto ang mga salita... this entry speaks more about 'death', but your brilliant words have brought the story back to life!


[Kailangan ko lang nga konting background... Yong tulad ng mga literatures sa high school textbooks natin (hahaha!) na may intro muna about the author, history nung isinulat ang isang piece, etc. Siguro mas kikilabutan pa ako. o",) ]

havenlei said...

so I found another poet..nice.nice.ho

Angelo said...

very interesting verses Lucas, it makes me think of angry make-up sex.... but that's probably revealing too much of my psyche hehe...

it also makes me think of "never go to bed angry" and that following your love into the darkness into which she goes, whether that be death or some other darkness, is one of the zeniths of chivalry or a measure of true love.

cheers man!

moongoddesslae said...

Now I'm inspired again to write poems!

galing!

KRIS JASPER said...

So, the poem ended up with your "darling" turning as a zombie?

killing, stabbing....

Hmmm.... I like it!!!!!!!

jei said...

Creepy...very, very creepy.

This darling of yours, you love her and yet this love can also turn into hatred.

I think I wanna dedicate this to someone.

wanderingcommuter said...

A bouquet of flowers I give to you

Scarlet like a dying sun, as dead as your love

Fall hard on the earth where I stood

Like a rootless tree barren of fruits.


-love this part, but you could probably change the scene of the sunset and scarlet in dwelling into your emotions. i find it over rated.

but aside from that, you still leave me breathless with your words.

just my two cents...

Mon said...

very well-written bro, kaso it's parang full of anger and bitterness. based on experience huh? ;)

JoShMaRie said...

LUCAS!!!!!!!

KAKAIBA KA TALAGA. :)

REDLAN said...

Nice poem, hanggang kaibubuturan ang dating.

HOMER said...

"Then kill yourself as if you’re alive
But stab my heart first as if I have not died"

Like this line!! :)

lucas said...

RJ: nako huwag mo na hingiin ang background ko. hehe! you'll just get bored. my blog is open for decoding so. makes blogging so much fun! :)

havenlei: ...and i found you :)

angelo: really? you actually thought of angry make-up sex?! hahaha! that's interesting...but really far away from what i was trying to convey with the words...well, words are insufficient sometimes...

thanks, doc :)

moongoddesslae: cool! you should write one right now :) thanks for dropping by :)

KJ: [So, the poem ended up with your "darling" turning as a zombie?]

yeah! that's exactly what happened in the end! hehehe!

i knew you'd like it because of the gory words..hehe! peace out!

jei: sometimes when a heart gets broken, the heart is torn between those two occupants...anger and love...

kanino mo naman dedicated? hehehe! peace out!

ewik: thanks for your two cents ewik! i really appreciate it! :)

mon: nako hindi! huwag naman sana...Hahaha! peace out!

josh: thanks, Josh :)

red: thanks, red :)

homer: thanks for leaving your sentiments :)

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

Interesting! CLAP CLAP CLAP!

NOSEBLEEB ako dun... aka Epistaxis!

Lionheart : Richard the Adventurer said...

Interesting! CLAP CLAP CLAP!

NOSEBLEED ako dun... aka Epistaxis!

jei said...

sa female boss ko...shhhh wag ka maingay, hehehehe.

Rcyan M. said...

You know, you are one of the best weaver of words I have ever met. We have the same style when it comes to poetry. When I write poems, the words just flow freely through my mind and rush through my paper. Haha! I thought that was uncanny. It was unusual for words to simply flow through your brain, make sense and make a rhyme. But then, the best thing about it is that, other people appreciate your craft.

By the way, I love sad poems like this one. =)

Desert Aquaforce said...

the poem's so depressing yet my mouth is still gaping on how you carry out and execute those words!

Snow said...

Very nice written but it's full of bitterness. Love, hate and longing combined.

I wish you well. ^_^

Najua Scribbles said...

love it!

;)

leslie said...

lucas said: when i write poetry, basta lang sila lumalabas! hehehe!

so sinasapian ka din pala pag nagsusulat :D...hehe

it's the title that really intrigued me...ganda ng poem...

Chyng said...

rose pastillas bouquet, gusto mo ng contact? (baka gusto ni hailey!)

eli said...

very interesting ang powerful words.

buntunan ba to ng poot at kabiguan? hehe

Languages Internationale said...

alam mo, parang si adam lambert tong material na to. unpredictable kung saan biglang kukulot.

i like the way you play with words hehe, i lost that ability with my job.

lucas said...

chard: epistaxis ba? squeeze the nares and lean forward. GO! hehe! thanks, chard.

jei: hahaha! isusumbong kita sa boss mo. hehe! kidding :P thanks for always sharing your sentiments :)

RCryan: wow... thanks for the generous compliment, my friend :) i thought it's uncanny, really. but not anymore kasi dalawa na tayo! hehehe! it's curious how words just materialize in your head sometimes. it's a thrill to successfully immortalize them on print.

i love sad poems too. sadness is a good inspiration when i write.

desert aquaforce: thanks for sharing your sentiments, sir :) i really appreciate it. good thing you changed your comment box. i can leave comments at last! hehe!

God bless you :)

snow: thanks for the comment, snow :)...and for dropping by. I wish you well too...

najua: thanks, mate :)

leslie: yeah! hehe! madalas kapag twilight at kapag nakikinig ng music. hehe! ayun...

thanks ulit! :)

chyng: sige! penge ako! saan ba nakakabili niyan? hmmm... :)

eli: salamat, parekoy!

languagers int'l: i like the adam lambert analogy! hehehe! thanks. but i was rooing for Kris though. hehe!

you each languages right? why did you lose it? hmmm... i guess teaching language and writing doesn't really go parallel to each other...

Angelo said...

I told you I was revealing too much of my psyche haha! words are often interpreted according to the colour of the tint on our glasses I guess. Ya words can be insufficient at times, especially English words because it can be such an imprecise language.... leaving lots of room for poetic license. keep it up!

oh, and when they don't bite is when it's relaxing hehe... I guess you don't like sushi then!

jei said...

Yeah, I so love and hate her at the same time. I don't know why is that, hehehehe. Ever since I stumbled on your blog, I became hooked to it and kept coming back.

ShatterShards said...

Napakinggan ko na rin ng buo ang Deathcab song mo... Astig! Talaga ngang mapapasulat ka ng poem about death. hehe

Yep, the Crow can sometimes bring the dead back into the living. He's also a trickster god.

----

Ano namang klaseng urges ang naisip mo, Ron? hehe

Yeah, kahit wala sa budget, napabili ako ng libro. Matagal ko na kasing nakita sa Powerbooks yung mga iyon, e nung nakita ko sa Booksale at Buy-the-Book, hindi ko na pinalampas. Just bought plastic cover last night, siguro mamaya, magbalot na ako ng books.

Gabriel Garcia Marquez... hindi naman kaya One Hundred Years of Solitude iyang binabasa mo? Love that book, pero na-depress ako sa ending.

Cheers!

lucas said...

angelo: thanks, angelo! :)

nope. i don't eat sushi. hehe! it's the smell that make me lose my appetite for it. :P

thanks for always dropping by. peace out!

jei: wow! you're really torn, aren't ya! hehehe! thanks again :)

shatts: hahaha! sexual urge! :P paulit-ulit kasi sa balita ang kho-halili scandal! haha!

ahh...i see. thanks for that info :D

---
Nasa sa booksale! Hays...i love that place. good books for less prices. tambay ako dun lagi at national bookstore.

nope. love in the time of cholera. i was intrigued bacause it was the book in the movie "serendipity", where kate left her name and number. hehe!

Cheers!

Rhaingel said...

It's very well-written and very E-M-O. I hope you're fine. Your blog's name is very connected with this post. :)

Elay said...

I wish I can write like you.. hehe

lucas said...

elay: are you kidding? you're a great writer, elay! otherwise you'll not land on my rivercourt. :)

---
I'm fine, Rhaingel :) Thanks.Emo lang talaga ako. hehe!