You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


20.1.11

out of shape


Out of nowhere, my phone beeped. It hadn't been beeping for a long while and so I got curious. Who would be texting hermit me? It was Jeremiah. She invited me to play badminton with her and Mark and his colleagues from the community hospital. I've been bugging her about playing because I felt like my blood was starting to coagulate due to lack of exercise. I had to start pumping my system or else I'd die of a heart problem or a stroke in a decade. My last smash if memory serves me right was two years ago back in college, which feels like a lifetime ago.


A couple of hours later, I arrived at the courts and did the usual stretching... but not really. I was just so psyched about playing! I played for just a couple of hours and man, I couldn't be more out of shape! Thirty minutes in (playing Sir Carlo), I started to labor on my breathing. I was struggling to breathe in air into my lungs and I was feeling that sharp pain on the part of my abdomen where the liver is supposed to be. After that, I played doubles with Jem against Mark and Sir Carlo. As expected, I couldn't find the right timing to smash the shuttle and most of my drops fell short into the net. We won in 2 sets but I felt like I was going to collapse on the floor. I rested for a while and had a singles match against Mark. Everything was going fine at first until Mark started to send the shuttles to the baseline. I was literally dragging my feet, from the net to the back. My footwork's shot. Eventually, my hands turned clammy, which was not a good sign (I might be having a generalized vasodilation that could put me into shock). The game only lasted a set. I gave up.

I went home knowing my body would ache for days. And I was right. My hamstrings felt like they're really pulled to the limit. My forearm muscles hurt so much that I could barely bend my wrist, brush my teeth, or lift a dipper of water when taking a bath. Sitting upright from lying supine became such a labor. For some reason, my abdominal muscles felt so weak, like I'm going to develop a hernia. I even needed to splint my lower abdomen when I cough to lessen the pain (and probably to keep my intestines from from sticking out of my tummy or worse, into my balls!). But the pain is good in a way. Every night when I'm off to sleep, I feel like I just had an extremely hard full body massage. I was sleeping like a baby.

I really have to make a routine exercise but it's really hard, especially if you do not have someone to do it with. I am starting to consider doing it all in the gym, but I'm not really comfortable in such places. Is that weird? I guess it is since everyone is going in that place to buff themselves up. But me? In a gym? Gawd I'm weird!




1 comment:

canonista said...

You're not weird, you're just not comfortable to be in a gym. I hate gyms, that routine, the fishing, the people, the eyes, the snobbery, the harassing looks from flirt seeking gay men,, they are all so disturbing and annoying at the same time. So there...