You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...

-Walt Whitman


qi deficient

So I have this symptom medically termed as scalloped tongue, and ever since I've first noticed it almost two years ago, I never had the guts to review possible diagnoses for it. I knew there must be a problem. I remember hearing the word from one of the lectures back in college but I couldn't remember which. The fact that I couldn't remember what disease or disorder it is associated made me quite anxious. I am not very good with dealing with the unknown, and I think it's because I am relying too much on what I already know. And so I became quite apprehensive thinking that out of thousands of lectures, I might've encountered it from our Cancer lectures and that some subtle symptoms could be caused by some very serious illnesses. Paranoid!

Yesterday, I finally got the balls to Google it. And it turned out, scalloped tongue could be caused by Vitamin B12 deficiency and hypothyroidism. That's a relief and way better than cancer! That could a problem with my blood formation. But it's no biggie. Vitamin B12 deficiency could be corrected through diet unless I have intrinsic factor problems. Hypothyroidism, however, could be maintained mainly through medication. But the interesting thing is when I stumbled upon an alternative medicine page, scalloped tongue means qi deficiency and lack of yang in the body. It says, that the qi/yang is responsible for the smooth movements and functioning of internal organs, and the tongue is the mirror of the internal state of the body. Apparently, it's the only internal organ that could be readily visualized. It could also mean water retention and that one is physically or mentally stressed. This deficiency in general suggests that I am lacking over-all energy or life force in my body. I am not sure about their pathophysiology (the main reason why I am quite a skeptic about alternative techniques) but for some reason, this lack causes the tongue to relax and bulge, which makes it easier for the teeth to leave indentations on the tongue's edges.

To make things worse, I woke yesterday morning with a dry mouth and a terrible itch up in my throat. It was hard for me to swallow and my head was pounding everytime I sniff watery rhinorrhea back into my nose. The symptoms are very classic of pharyngitis and upper respiratory tract infection. Noting I am the only one sick in the house probably means my immune system is shot. The cold temperature didn't help my condition either.

Anyways, I feel better now. Strepsils got rid off my sore throat. My congested nasal cavity is the one bothering me right now. Although, I still need to get some of my qi back...

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