You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


21.8.08

to write or not to write


YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY HOME and suddenly you saw this notebook lying on your front lawn. a black one. it seemed just an ordinary notebook to you, but the large, white letters against the black cover caught you: death note. you picked it up out of curiosity and opened it. there were instructions scribbled on one of its lined pages:

“The human whose name is written in this note shall die…”

you thought it was absurd. pathetic. ridiculous. but still there was apart of you that made you anxious. it made you fidget on the thought that you could kill someone by just writing his name on freaking notebook, but curiosity took you over. your hand is itching to get that pen from you right pocket. “there’s no harm in trying,” you told yourself just to relieve your ego of the conflict it suffers. you remembered the name of the criminal on the loose, who killed two innocent people, from the news earlier this morning.

you wrote it down. just the name. nothing will happen, of course. or so you thought.

you suddenly felt stupid for writing the name down, but you didn’t dare erase the name nor throw away the note. you kept it. put it inside your bag. there was a relief for a moment.

the next day, you were watching the early morning news. a man died of a heart attack. the man’s name was exactly the name of the person you wrote on the note, you thought was pathetic. not anymore, i suppose.

“if the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die with heart attack…”

you read the whole set of instructions. very specific and detailed instructions. you were shocked. scared. guilty, perhaps, but the ego had a clever way to resolve such conflict that your conscience and what you have done had made. logic told you that it was just a coincidence. just an inevitable event. you had nothing to do with it. it was destiny that happened. it was his time to die. but the conflict that had been raging inside you persisted. you had to be sure.

“after writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds…”

you wrote the name of the absolute dictator that plans to unleash nuclear war against the world

“_________ will die of choking at 8:00 am, philippine time…”

you didn’t know what to feel. you just had to be sure if the death note was real and if you’re responsible for the demise of a cold-blooded criminal. something inside you felt hopeful that it’s real. do you think that what you were feeling was evil?

you couldn’t sleep. but you were tired. physically. emotionally. and you were swallowed by darkness that seemed to come from your own beating heart.

8:00 am— you panicked as you looked at your wall clock. you forgot to set the alarm. something in your head told you that the person with the name you wrote on the note was probably dead. choked and died, while having his breakfast, perhaps, on a large piece of chicken meat he was munching with his pearly white teeth. eyes open and face flat on his plate of expensive food he failed to finish.

you turned on the television. you decided not to go to work. this was more important than work. the world will change, somehow, in any second. your heart is racing as the news rolled on. you wondered how long will it take for the philippine media to get the information. you hesitated and decided to search for what you were looking for on the internet. you knew the exact words to type on the search box… it was so easy… like scribbling a name on a piece of paper…

and there he was… eyes open and face flat on his plate of expensive food…

the death note was real. you relieved the world two of all the people that make it sick. make it rot. you felt powerful. you could change the world with just the note, a pen, a name, and a face. your hand itched again… and wrote names.

Murderers…

mafia members…

cruel dictators…

terrorists…

corrupt government officials…

sex maniacs…

rapists…

robbers…

abortionists…

the list went on, and on, and on… there seemed to be no end. Your dominant hand was tiring… it seemed endless… you wished you can’t tire… but you were… the only thought that got you going was the thought of a better world. a peaceful one. no poverty. no crimes. no suffering. a perfect world everyone had been dreaming about, and you could make it happen for them. utopia was so near you could almost touch it… but still you’re human and you were bound to tire… then, you hand gave up, your eyes closed… and then there was darkness…

---

you opened your eyes. the driver woke you up with his booming voice.

driver: miss dito na po ang baba niyo ‘di ba?

you: opo. maraming salamat, manong. crap.

it was not your first time to have slept on a jeepney ride home but it was still embarrassing as usual.

you were on your way home and suddenly you saw this notebook lying on your front lawn. a black one. it seemed just an ordinary notebook to you, but the large, white letters against the black cover caught you: death note.

what would you do?

would you dare to write anything in it?

your ego sensed another conflict. this time on the question: “does the end really justifies the means?”

---



haha! isn’t it obvious that i’m currently addicted to the japanese manga series death note? i have heard about this a long time ago, but i was never an avid fan of anime…until now. haha! i got hooked and now i just can’t stop. this entry is getting longer. i guess i’ll just save the rest when i am done with the whole series. i’m done with the 6th episode. i’m going to start the 7th tomorrow… 30 episodes to go. haha!

by the way, could you please vote on my poll? i would really want to know your opinion about it. thanks a lot. ciao!

33 comments:

Mugen said...

Nice entry about deathnote. Kuhang kuha ah! Hehe.

Reminds me of the Anime Hell Girl Ewan ko kung alam mo yun.

dazedblu* said...

I guess to write.. hehe :) Probably I mislead my way.

There is actually human implications when you write and much better to do so. It is a prolonged condition tht you are expressing something tht visually can't be driven.

Hence not to write might give you as well; the same issue, but the prob is you are less vulnerable and tendencies of being outrageous comes upon the situation.

Hehe, corny noo..

Regards wit Death Note, familiar ako dun. pro I'm not interested wit reading manga talaga. Prob wait and see for a series on TV, hehe. I guess meron ata?

salingPUSA said...

You love playing with the idea of death Ron. Ilang taon kanaba? Some people say kasi that the Young does't think about death. kkk

Makes me think hard though, yeah, if you have that power in your hands, what would you do?
I think I would not want it. I prefer to be nobody, anonymous, you know, just living a simple and quiet life. You will never have peace of mind knowing that you are the reason why other people are dying. Weather they are bad or not. I think it's not a good idea.....

dazedblu* said...

tht why --> I mislead my way. :)
anyways, never mind.

Mugen said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_Girl

Yan yun link bro.

joaqui_miguel said...

I know about this Death Note thingie. Well, not exactly the series but the movie. It was a nice watch. :)

kalansaycollector said...

gusto kong mabasa ang manga na iyan o mapanood ang anime. hay.

i will write my name para matapos na ang buhay ko. haha chos.

boying said...

ei. i've seen this. pati na iyong hindi manga. iyong movie. magaling ang konsepto ng storya. pinagpuyatan ko ito. maganda talaga.

mrs.j said...

i watched the 2 movie..

o well nice siya, struggle sa translation!

kung di pla mahina e anu lang?

penngwen said...

i liked the series. :) have fun reading :D then watch the anime and the movie. you'd never want it to end.

odin hood said...

gusto ko rin to mapanood...

gagitos said...

asteg..ve read from top to bottom and i got hooked! galing mo magsulat pre! nice one! keep it up! ;)

Ely said...

napanood ko yan minsan d2 sa office. ok naman story, natawa lang ako sa itsura ni kamatayan nila.

Eyprille said...

hahaaha...ayus tu! I have been reading manga and the first that I got to read was death note and there goes naruto/bleach..d ko pa xa natatapos but then I've been far along its episodes while streaming it's videos. I also have a copy of the movie pero d ko pa nawatch...weeee! I love L. haha! The twists and turns, characters and everything about this series can really make my day..haha :D

caryn said...

uy! mukha ngang addict ka sa death note ah!

really nice entry. when i was younger, i fantasized about luring all crooked politicians onto a secluded island and blowing them up. that way we could start anew. hehehe. it sure beats waiting for them to see the light! ;-)

jounin said...

scary...pero i like the anime

Lance said...

@roneiluke:

actually ganun din ang reason ng Ate ko..other than para ma support nya kanyang baby..

it's neither of the two..it was an XMas gift i received long time ago, till now hindi ko pa natapos lahat. yup, it's like about the mystery of the crime but mostly talagang exciting naman basahin, kaya lang natatamad lang me.. cge babasa ako ng Dan Brown if i can borrow one from my friends, ayaw ko din namang bumili, i-pang arcade ko nalang kaya yung pera kaysa books...hahahahahah

oo nga, italian style xa.. but almost all of their pizzas are thin layered.. so i pa double layer mu if you like to have some big bites... but the thin ones are yummy...

hindi naman kita pinipilit eh..hehehe konsensya lang naman ang sa akin..hihih

**Bloody Hell, mate! That's so wicked!

Lance said...

kahit ilang beses kapang mag lagay ng names ng mga corrupt officials at mamatay sila kaagad, hindi parin mauubus yang mga yan.. kahit mga mamamayan mismo ay korupt din...
but nope, i'm not an activist..hehe

Naruto lang ang pinapanuod ko at tsaka Avatar the last airbender...
before nanonood din ng sakura, the card capturer..hahahahahahahaha

lol!

ka bute said...

astig! ung bro ko bought a dvd at comic alley. pero di ko pa napapanood. ;)

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

may friend din akong addicted sa death note na iyan.

wanderingcommuter said...

i really love this anime. i actually watch the whole series twice. it was remarkably twisted but extremely full of wits!!!

-=May=- said...

Ka-adik tong anime na to sobra!!! i'm sure you'll love it til its end... you'll crave for more.. don't forget to watch the movies as well!! cheers.. just dropping by... :)

onatdonuts: "Tirador ng Kaning Lamig" said...

nakatutuwa ang iyong post..akalain mong nag-isip talaga ako ng mga pangalang maaari kong ilista diyan sa itim na kuaderno? hahaha

siya nga pala, maraming salamat sa pagpapaalala na nakakatawa pala sa pangalan ng blog ko. haha hindi ko kasi maramdaman, ngayon ko lang napagtanto nang sinabi mo at nang tanungin ko ang kaibigan ko. hahaha

salamat! ipagpatuloy mo ang iyong pagsusulat, narito ako, patuloy na magbabasa! ;-)

Leyn said...

same here! i love death note. much love with L.

i have a copy of death note 3, kaso it's not anime.

Lance said...

@ron:
Goodluck!

naging adik lang ako sa HP series. yung latest and last edition ng HP na binili ng roomate ko, ako pa ang nakatapos bumasa kaysa sa may-ari...haha
feeling ko din, walang Da Vinci dyan sa inyo.. hehe

hindi konsensya.. it's eccleciastes again... hahaha

--

Oo, si sakura, yung may baton tapos nagtatrap nang mga evil cards.. favorite ng elder sister ko kaya napapanood ko na din..

OO, hindi pa ata tapos ang naruto and also the avatar anime, hindi pa din tapos...
Lost, and Prison break, hindi ko pa rin na tatapos.. haaayyyy
wala na ata akong natatapos kahit isa ngayon...

spongebabe said...

no death note for me please. don't ask why. it has something to do with an asshole ex being obsessed with it. oh crap, there! you made me say it!

*runs with hands on her face*

spongebabe said...

P.S.

death note is kind of like the TV series Pushing Daisies. morbid din ang tema. you should watch it, too. i love that series.

tina said...

nice nice.

halatang na adik ka nga.. nasulat mo yan eh. :) hehe

yoshke said...

hindi ko pa to naavail. mejo nagsteer away ako from anime lately. pffft.

informaxona said...

love death note so much...

Chyng said...

Hhmm, addicting ba tlga yan? Try ko din. Ngayon pa, i have lots of time! (--,)

ka bute said...

ASTIG UNG DEATH NOTE DRE! pinanood ko na. ganda ng kwento. :) panalo. namatay ba talaga si L?

Brent a.k.a. yourkidatheart said...

Death Note is wicked!

"Wicked" in the britt's sense of "cool" or "great" or Filipinos' "astig!"

I love the anime and the movie!

And if I were to posses the note... I'd probably use it. And it would be cool to meet the L in my version of Death Note.