You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


22.10.08

on sex addiction


MY THUMBS WERE THROBBING last night, playing harry potter and the goblet of fire for 5 straight hours on my psp. i thought i’d give them a little rest, so i decided to do my late night channel hopping on our television set (my right thumb didn’t have much rest after all, since the remote couldn’t change the channels on its own). i usually start with channel 8 and up till i stumbled upon channel 76. it was the etc channel airing the tyra banks show.

i watch the show sometimes because it’s really informative. they had that golden emmy trophy to prove it. i just wish the writers would refrain from writi
ng too much fashion, modeling, make-overs, and vanity stuff. last night however, they featured a very engaging episode about sex addiction. yippee! haha! sex addiction. sounds like a joke, right? just the word ‘sex’ could tickle that muscle to paint a smirk on your face and a red glow to your eyes. however, this is no laughing matter especially now that i have had an in depth look to the personal struggles of those suffering from this problem relatively comparable to a disease.

a bachelor confessed he had 75 sexual encounters with women for just a short span of 6 years. at first he thought he was just a normal bachelor guy enjoying his sex life. but eventually it occurred to him that he has problem. he then decided to come forward and face the issue. he admitted that he was having sex 2 to 3 times a day and never used any protection until 6 months ago when he got himself tested for venereal disease. he was lucky. the results came out negative. he added that the sexual encounters were alcohol induced. what’s remarkable about his story was that he confessed that it was not merely about having sex but search for intimacy and something long lasting. unfortunately, it always ends up
in sex. it turned out he had a bad history with his mother and the reason he became a sex addict was that he used to see men coming and going in her mother’s life. at times, he could see her having sex or hear them from inside a locked. at the end of the interview he said he loves her mother but the bitterness came haunting him till now.

a woman got married with the man of her dreams. three days after their wedding, she caught her husband sexually gratifying himself over some pornography. the husband admitted that he’s a sex addict and that he was ashamed about it. he was hoping that marriage could end his addiction. he was wrong. he’d rather jack himself off than have sex with her wife. he confessed that almost everything triggers a certain chemical reaction to his body, a sexual urge. he couldn’t watch the television without premeditating sexual gratification because of sexy commercials. he couldn’t walk in the streets without noticing women showing too much skin. when his urge is triggere
d he immediately wants to be alone with himself and do his thing. her wife was worried this could ruin their marriage considering the fact that she wanted to have kids and have a family it turned out the husband had virtually no romantic relationships during his high school years. he also confessed that he was exposed to pornography in the early age of 8 and started his chronic masturbation since then.

a black
man told his wife on television that he was a sex addict. he confessed that he doesn’t have sex with his wife but does it with other women. he reasoned that he was thinking his wife was not prepared for the ‘type of sex’ he wanted to have. hmmm… i have a hunch it involves stilettos, handcuffs, ropes, and a freakin’ whip! wapak! he should’ve married cat-woman instead.

an 18 year-old girl had sex with 55 different guys. she started having the addiction since she the age of 13. she told her best friend about her sex problem and submitted herself to therapy. she lost her virginity before she even had her first kiss. a sex without even a single kiss? how’s that? talking about pure lust. her friends, according to her, started having sex as early as 11 years old. on the bright side, she’s now a self-confessed born again virgin.


sex addiction is primarily caused by lack of intimacy. people search for intimacy to fill the voids within their hearts, bu
t unfortunately, they get lost along the way. sex addiction is caused by low self-esteem. those people who thirst of appreciation and attention end up letting people in their lives while their reasoning is compromised. hence, they were not able to sift out the enemies and have a high affinity to those who will only cause harm instead.

these four sex addicts have one thing in common. each had experienced a dark past. something wicked seared hot on their brains and hearts; their youth was forced to understand. most sex addicts had failed to realize that sex is not only physical thing. they were not able to understand that such amazing experience should be done within an emotional bond. they had failed, because all they can see are genitals, orgasms, and pleasure. they missed the big picture. but who to blame? they were supposed to be innocent.


our pa
st have a clever way on catching up on us. sometimes, we dwell on it too much we forget about the present and stop looking forward towards the future. but the past should stay in the past. it’s where it belongs. people sometimes forget the importance of choice but unfortunately most people deny that they have one. we always have a choice and that includes the choice to leave the past and the ability to write a new story. it is the right choice. it is true that the past makes who we are, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that the past makes the person we want to be.

each of these four sex addicts had a choice and each made one. it may sound easy; choosing the right from wrong. but it’s really hard, especially if you’re on the other side of the fence.

43 comments:

KRIS JASPER said...

"i just wish the writers would refrain from writing too much fashion, modeling, make-overs, and vanity stuff."

Ha,ha

Are you sure it was tyra Bank's show and not KrisJasper.com?

ANw, Im still a virgin so I really cant relate if the topic is about sex. :)

Im surprised they havent invited a rabbit in that episode. That's a real sex addict. 1 male can satisfy 9 females (as I was told.. who knows, it might be more)

Chyng said...

The show also did an episode on young HS students who have sex in school regularly. They all need help.

So ron, ano natutunan mo? (--,)

~Kinesics said...

OH man...Hahahah I totally agree with Kris Jasper! Bring the rabbit in!!!

Sex is awesome, but I dont personally go crazy about it :) I mean, people have ways (most esp guys) to satisfy themselve without engaging into the nasty sex acts. :)

I actually cannot believe up to now that there's such thing...sex addiction! I guess, too much is not always a good thing, eh?! :)

Oh, I shook my penis per your instruction! Thanks, RON! :)

~kinesics

RONeiluke, RN said...

actually naisip ko talaga yun. hahaha!

so you're still a virgin... me too! hehehe! hindi ko nga maalala kung bakit tungkol sa sex ang post ko ngayon eh. hahaha!

hahaha! ibang klase ka talaga! rabbit! they poop everywhere! haha! thanks for that very interesting info..haha!

RONeiluke, RN said...

chyng: grabe... iba na talaga panahon ngayon noh? lalo na sa US. normal na sa kanila yung mga ganung eksena.

anyway, i have learned that rabbits are sex addicts! hahaha!

kinesics: sex is awesome! hehe! but sometimes people tend to esperience it just for the pleasure of it turning it to just a physical thing. hehehe!

i was shocked too. i thought it was a joke. you're right. excess is bad.

again, i mean your ex's. not yours. hahaha!

peace out!

FerBert said...

Hello Im FB, a sex addict.. lol

seryoso una pa kong nakatikim ng bibingka kesa makatikim ng labi.. mael lang talaga ako nung mga panahong yun.. pero ngayon parang virgin na ulet.. tigang eh.. hahaha

REDLAN said...

haha. no comment. iba iba ang sitwasyon pero isa lang naman ang subject. sex addiction. talagang nangyayari yan in real life. I know, i know, some sex addict. parang sickness yan eh.

~Kinesics said...

ohhhhhhhhhh you meant my ex's ding dong! hahaha too bad...

oh, well...i shook mine! :)

~kinesics

GreenMangoes said...

the second to the last paragraph was solid!

ang galing mo!

hehe!

your words of wisdom are compelling!

---

as for the topic, good thing i have a very good foundation of faith. :)

yes. i dwell among those things as well. lalake lang ako. pero andun yung limit e. and at the same time, magkakaroon ka ng sense of guilt until eventually you'll realize na mali yung ganun.

Myk2ts said...

basta for me, sex is something sacred. ginagawa lang ng mga taong nagmamahalan. ayun na yun :)

sige sige, next time na ang burger... ching!

shurikenstuff said...

cool topic there....sex is so common today that most people do a RolePlay to spice up the activity they've had abused so much it's as common as taking a shower...

dabo said...

hahaha.. are we getting freudan over here.. if i am not mistaken Ewik and I are arguing over freud's ideas that sex motivates everything..if not the whole civilization

Denis said...

yan talaga niche ni tyra, expose type. kaso minsan parang shes kinda over the top

JoShMaRie said...

dati kapag naririning ko ang word na "sex", "yuck" was always my reaction. syempre bata pa ako. katorse. hehe.

sabi din ng mga friends kong psychopatic, i mean pyschologists, dark daw talaga ang past ng mga sex addicts. kelangan nila ng counselling. your post reminded me of the book 100 Strokes of the Brush Before Bed by Melissa P. It's about the author's sexcapades. Hehe.

PROSETITUTE said...

uh, another post not suitable for minors. hey, what happening to the blogosphere huh?

wanderingcommuter said...

i enjoyed watching that episode too... nakakashock lang talaga how sex eventually defines someone...

pero like what i have told dabo, matagal ng debunked si frued. hindi kailangan maging depinisyon ng isang tao ang kanyang sexual activities...

onatdonuts said...

huwaw! ron? is that you? hehehe nag kulit sex addiction ang topic mo ngayon...ang kyut hahahaha

totoo naman na kailangan talagang alamin ang dahilan ng sex addiction na yan, natawa ako dun sa lalaking mas gugustuhin pang magsariling sikap kesa mapipagniig sa kanyang mahal na asawa. ang weird ano?

masarap maadik sa pagmamahal...ng isang tao, joke hahahaha

RONeiluke, RN said...

Redlan: yeah. it's like a disease pero my treatment naman. :)

Kinesics: ding dong. dito ko lang malaman sa blogosphere na it refers to the male genitalia. it's cool as long as it helps...hehe!

FB: ahh... so sex addict ka pala. hehehe! ibang labi naman ang hinalikan mo eh. ok na yun. unique ang first kiss mo. hehe!

Green mangoes: thanks, mate :) faith is really vital nowadays in this cruelly twisted world we live in. keep the faith so that we'll not lose our way... :)

Myk2ts: i couldn't agree more... physical bond should be done within an emotional bond. it's how should morality works...

Dabo: thanks for the comment. kinalabit kasi ako ni freud nung napanood ko yung tyra. is it true that he's gay? if sex could motivate anything i'm doomed. hahaha!

Denis: pansin ko nga ganun yung trip niya. mhilig din xa dun sa mga social experiments and undercover stories...

Joshmarie: ganun naman yata talaga...yung mga classmates kong babae nung HS ganun din reaction pero ngayon..hahaha! no comment! hahaha!

and now you're reading someones sexcapades. joke! haha! thanks for dropping by :)

Prostetitute: is there something wrong with my post 

Wandering commuter: yeah.. i couldn't leave my seat. obviously they're people enjoying physical pleasure but they're crumbling deep inside.

i agree with you on that. these people are just sick and they need help.

Onat: para maiba naman ang ihip ng hangin sa blog ko. puro na kasi kapighatian eh. hahaha!

ang weird nga nun. kawawa yung asawa niya. ang sakit nun. nayurakan ang kanyang pagkababae. hehe!
Shurikenstuff: yeah... role plays, toys, different absurd positions, etc just to spice up an abused sex lives...

Mugen said...

For someone who often mistake sex for intimacy, I think I cannot part my insights to you this time. :)

Nice entry men.

RONeiluke, RN said...

mugen: oh... nako wala tuloy ako masabi..hays...keep searching just don't lose your way. thanks for dropping by :)

bena said...

wala akong masabi.. a virgin like me knows little when it comes sex.. hihihi.. honestly, it's tough of these people to come out and talk their sexual disorders in public.. and kudos to the team who brought up this matter at tyra's show.. it's a very informative subject as to how sex can be considered too much to an extent and people suffering from this type of disorder.. nice post ron! heavy ka talaga!

yoshke said...

i love the last few paragraphs. Well said. Sincere. Loaded. Spoken like a true sex addict. KIDDING. Hihi.

yoshke said...

And oh, that version of When The Stars Go Blue is LOOOOOOOOVE.

It's one of my all time fave songs, and this rendition is just, ah, more beautiful than Tyra. Haha.

onatdonuts said...

batang Ron, musta na? medyo busy si kuya onats kaya ngayon lang ulit naka-post.. kwento naman diyan. pero the best pa rin yung post mo sa sex addiction haha

oo nga, nakakaluha naman talaga ang matatandang palaboy sa kalsada..hay ang buhay nga naman oh. minsan nga nagtatanong ako, nasan na ang sinasabing kultura nating mga Pilipino na mapagmahal sa matatanda? nasan na?

tandaan mo ron, kung mag-aanak ka rin...dami-damihan mo na hehe para pag tanda natin di tayo nag-iisa...tsaka sabi nga ng magiting kong cameraman, sayang ang punla. hahaha

-----

nga pala, kung gusto mong mapanuod at makita si lolo francisco, punta ka sa youtube at i-type mo ang...
KAPOS SA KALINGA, part 1 at part 2 yun... salamat pareng Ron.

_ice_ said...

very informative.. hehehe

hmm tigil tigilan ko na pagiging sex addict...

ayaw ko na.. pag mag isa ako para walang magawa iisipin ko na lang kanta ni rihanna "i dont wanna be a murderer" sayang baka maging doctor pa yon o president ng pinas.. hahahaha

musta tol

salingPUSA said...

if it has to do with the S.e.x word, it will definitely hook everyone. But I agree, in as much as it could make you feel all the good things there is in it, it could also be a curse, something that you will always crave, and when you realize that you are no longer in control of it, that's when the bad part enters. Like anything in excess, it could destroy anybody.

The reason why the GODS and Goddesses they say in mythology envy ordinary human beings is because humans are mortals. The fact that they die makes them beautiful. What I am saying is, sex could be beautiful AND PLEASURABLE if it is rare. More especially so if it coupled with love. There is a fundamental difference between love and libido.

salingPUSA said...

the problem with Americans is that they try to do it the other way....sex first before intimacy. I prefer to do it the other way around......also sometimes, ok din yung ganun.keke

TENTAY™ said...

Nanonood din ako ng Tyra, korek, usually tunkol sa fashion (naman kasi diba model si Tyra eh.) hahahaha!!

pero minsan pinalabas nila un madami na nakasexual encounter na guys and girls.. as in nasa 100+

wala lang..

pag sex.. tameme ako..

la kwenta sinasabi ko.

LOL.

Magmomongha nlang ata ako..

-=May=- said...

it really takes a lot of courage when one person admits na they are sex addicts.. i have a friend who went through the same problem and it was really shocking and sometimes pati ako nafru-frustrate sa situation. that's one wake up call for me before about judging people.. kaya I am a firm believer that one does not have any right to judge another based on anything at all.. well, personally, sex is not that bad as long as you did it with love, regardless of who you did it with, why and where you did it.. basta may love i guess that's what makes it special :)

Skron said...

They should've gotten some comics or pc games to occupy themselves.

RONeiluke, RN said...

Bena: just read your comment :)

thanks. virgin pa din ako! hehehe! i was just moved by the stories. i didn't know na may mga ganun. pinakanagulat ako dun sa second story. yung sa bagong kasal. weird noh? bilib din ako sa mga writers ng tyra...

yoshke: thanks :) hindi ako sex addict. medyo lang! joke! haha!

ang ganda ng version na yan noh? soundtrack yan ng 'one tree hill'...astig. kay bethany joy lenz at tyler hilton. meron rin nito ang the corrs...

onat: eto nakatengga lang. hehehe! ui, busy ka ulit? writing a new story? the best ba? nakakarelate ka kasi!!! hahaha! joke!

nakakalungkot nga eh. parang naiiba na kulturang pinoy...

oo! mga dalawang dosena! hahaha! pero wala pa sa isip ko yan...enjoy enjoy muna. hehehe!

at dahil panatiko ako ng iyong mga likha dinownload ko talaga xa. hehehe!

MORE!!!!

Ice: wow..talagang si rihanna ah...may concert siya sa november dito kasama si cris brown. ahehehe! try ko din to baka effective! ahahahaha!

Salingpusa: i couldn't agree more... sex is great but losing your soul because of it is just appalling...

love is nothing like libido. yun nga eh...somehow sex and intimacy are mistaken to be the same and one.

may: wow...really you have a friend who had been a sex addict? ano nangyari sa kanya. it takes a great deal of courage to come forward and come clean with the truth especially something as private as one's sexual life... you're friend is really brave. help her :)

tentay: wag ka naman magmongha... you don't belong there :)

skron: yeah they should follow your example man...

-=May=- said...

she went to counseling... nung una samin lang sha nag-coconfide, but when things got worst, we had to suggest another option for her... mahirap talga.. matagal na gamutan... pero slowly she's doing ok na... sana nga magtuloy-tuloy... :)

---
di kaya mainit din sa lugar ng mga taong nabanggit mo sa post mo kaya ganun??? hehe.. napaisip lang... :D

ka buet said...

75 sex encounters? whoa! is this true? hahaha. no comment. ;) i believe sex addiction is an abnormality (oopss) hahahaha. ;) daming naaliw dito sa post mo. ;)

RONeiluke, RN said...

may: sa mga ganitong kaso kelangan talaga ng professional help. buti naagapan niyo. it's cool na nandun kayo to support her kasi sobrang mahirap talaga. virtually impossible kung siya lang mag-isa...

kabute:salamat sa pagdalaw, kabute!

ibang klase noh? 75! did you know na ang chronic na urge para maglabas ng semen ay sign ng prostatitis..namamagang protate..hehehe!!!

meron nga akong napanood sa 'the moment of truth' more than one hundred eh..hehehe!

naaaliw kasi sex ang usapan. hahaha!

onatdonuts said...

wow buti naman at nakita mo na si lolo francisco. sige ako'y mag-aabang nalang sa iyong susunod na post, hehe galing galing! ;-)

acey said...

very interesting nga. that pic of the flies fucking made me laugh though.

Lance said...

hey there buddy.. sorry, been really busy for a while..
as for your topic, about hmmmmmm... WHAT!!!???? SEX???!!!!!
hehehehe

well, anything relating to addiction is always not good. too much of anything is bad, diba?

wow, and sosyal pare..di pa PSP na tayo ngayon hmp! hehehehe

unfortunately, i don't watch tyra banks show, or what's the other one? hmmm... that black lady.. hmmm... see, now? i can't even remember..heheheh!

i agree with your point about choices, preferences, decisions.. although it sometimes need a willing heart, mind and soul to be able to take step forward and stand up for what we believe is right and good for us... (nosebleed)!

RONeiluke, RN said...

ms. Acey: ang kulet nung pic noh? hahaha! i find it very fitting and yet successfully maintained my blog's conservative image...hahaha!

lance: nainspired ka ba talaga?! hahaha!

ahehehe! oo nga eh! tapos ko ng yung harry potter at luxor. pasmado na kamay ko kakapindot.

si oprah yun. i don't watch her that much. si ellen ang paborito ko.hehehe!

grabe nanosebleed nga ako.pakitagalog! hahaha! thanks!

RONeiluke, RN said...

onat: meron na akong bagong post... hehehe! emo emohan na naman. ahahaha!

Roland said...

akala the topic is about your sex addiction... sa iba pala... sabagay wala naman yata ikaw maishe-share, joke?

hmmm, para nagkaroon ako ng sakit na ganyan, in my late 30s... and i rather call sex (self) abuse.

the spool artist said...

aba, in fairness, in fairmart, in fairview... this has been a much-talked about forum ron... 40 comments and counting! nothing beats a post about sex! hahaha.

but kidding aside, you have a very powerful point on your last paragraph. i have some buddies here (and staff) who talk about nothing but their sexual conquests last night... night after night! it's just disheartening to think what the girls they did it with think now and how they feel especially that they try to run away from them after their conquests! what a shame...

RONeiluke, RN said...

roland: ahaha! kung sex addict man ako hindi ko sasabihin dito! hahaha! conservative tong site ko eh. hehehe!

ay ganun? kasal na nun? hmmm...

kuya loven: haha! yeah... what's the big deal with sex anyway? don't get it. hahahahaha!

ganun naman tlaga siguro. hays. parang hit and run lang. hehehe!

she851518 said...

I like you blog you have really good working a best article about Tyra Banks