on sex addiction

MY THUMBS WERE THROBBING last night, playing harry potter and the goblet of fire for 5 straight hours on my psp. i thought i’d give them a little rest, so i decided to do my late night channel hopping on our television set (my right thumb didn’t have much rest after all, since the remote couldn’t change the channels on its own). i usually start with channel 8 and up till i stumbled upon channel 76. it was the etc channel airing the tyra banks show.

i watch the show sometimes because it’s really informative. they had that golden emmy trophy to prove it. i just wish the writers would refrain from writing too much fashion, modeling, make-overs, and vanity stuff. last night however, they featured a very engaging episode about sex addiction. yippee! haha! sex addiction. sounds like a joke, right? just the word ‘sex’ could tickle that muscle to paint a smirk on your face and a red glow to your eyes. however, this is no laughing matter especially now that i have had an in depth look to the personal struggles of those suffering from this problem relatively comparable to a disease.

a bachelor confessed he had 75 sexual encounters with women for just a short span of 6 years. at first he thought he was just a normal bachelor guy enjoying his sex life. but eventually it occurred to him that he has problem. he then decided to come forward and face the issue. he admitted that he was having sex 2 to 3 times a day and never used any protection until 6 months ago when he got himself tested for venereal disease. he was lucky. the results came out negative. he added that the sexual encounters were alcohol induced. what’s remarkable about his story was that he confessed that it was not merely about having sex but search for intimacy and something long lasting. unfortunately, it always ends up in sex. it turned out he had a bad history with his mother and the reason he became a sex addict was that he used to see men coming and going in her mother’s life. at times, he could see her having sex or hear them from inside a locked. at the end of the interview he said he loves her mother but the bitterness came haunting him till now.

a woman got married with the man of her dreams. three days after their wedding, she caught her husband sexually gratifying himself over some pornography. the husband admitted that he’s a sex addict and that he was ashamed about it. he was hoping that marriage could end his addiction. he was wrong. he’d rather jack himself off than have sex with her wife. he confessed that almost everything triggers a certain chemical reaction to his body, a sexual urge. he couldn’t watch the television without premeditating sexual gratification because of sexy commercials. he couldn’t walk in the streets without noticing women showing too much skin. when his urge is triggered he immediately wants to be alone with himself and do his thing. her wife was worried this could ruin their marriage considering the fact that she wanted to have kids and have a family it turned out the husband had virtually no romantic relationships during his high school years. he also confessed that he was exposed to pornography in the early age of 8 and started his chronic masturbation since then.

a black man told his wife on television that he was a sex addict. he confessed that he doesn’t have sex with his wife but does it with other women. he reasoned that he was thinking his wife was not prepared for the ‘type of sex’ he wanted to have. hmmm… i have a hunch it involves stilettos, handcuffs, ropes, and a freakin’ whip! wapak! he should’ve married cat-woman instead.

an 18 year-old girl had sex with 55 different guys. she started having the addiction since she the age of 13. she told her best friend about her sex problem and submitted herself to therapy. she lost her virginity before she even had her first kiss. a sex without even a single kiss? how’s that? talking about pure lust. her friends, according to her, started having sex as early as 11 years old. on the bright side, she’s now a self-confessed born again virgin.

sex addiction is primarily caused by lack of intimacy. people search for intimacy to fill the voids within their hearts, but unfortunately, they get lost along the way. sex addiction is caused by low self-esteem. those people who thirst of appreciation and attention end up letting people in their lives while their reasoning is compromised. hence, they were not able to sift out the enemies and have a high affinity to those who will only cause harm instead.

these four sex addicts have one thing in common. each had experienced a dark past. something wicked seared hot on their brains and hearts; their youth was forced to understand. most sex addicts had failed to realize that sex is not only physical thing. they were not able to understand that such amazing experience should be done within an emotional bond. they had failed, because all they can see are genitals, orgasms, and pleasure. they missed the big picture. but who to blame? they were supposed to be innocent.

our past have a clever way on catching up on us. sometimes, we dwell on it too much we forget about the present and stop looking forward towards the future. but the past should stay in the past. it’s where it belongs. people sometimes forget the importance of choice but unfortunately most people deny that they have one. we always have a choice and that includes the choice to leave the past and the ability to write a new story. it is the right choice. it is true that the past makes who we are, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that the past makes the person we want to be.

each of these four sex addicts had a choice and each made one. it may sound easy; choosing the right from wrong. but it’s really hard, especially if you’re on the other side of the fence.