You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...

-Walt Whitman


the violin

I HELD YOUR HAND, firm but gentle
like how i h
old this violin.
i lean on its body to secure it in place,

remembering how you used to lean on my shoulders

while we
watch blurred images pass by.
it was the best bus ride ever.

i move the bow back and forth;

the bow made from a long lock of your hair,

smooth against my heart strings.

every gliding move of my arms and wrist

makes the most beautiful sounds

songs that were used to be mine,

so haunting they make me awake at night.

their whispers vibrate on my ear.

calling my name as if from a distance.

s fingers press against tight strings
and a graceful arm dictates a slow tempo

mimicking the beats of a heart in pain,

i remember you as my music.

as i play hovering notes of melancholy

before the stars and autumn leaves;

as i wait for sunrise and the absolution of my sins,

i remember you and your broken violin;

denying the truth that you were so out of tune

and you’re name synonymous with noise.

. . .

i have always wanted to play the violin probably because of my fascination with the classicals, musical scores, and new age music. there’s something haunting about the
sound it produces, same goes with the cello. i’ll dig any music played with these instruments. they give a very unique twist when fused with different music genres. rock musically arranged with an orchestra, for example. i was blown away when rihanna sang umbrella, live, backed with a full orchestra :)

i tried to learn how to play the violin, but i find i
t really hard. eun-a, a korean friend friend to teach me the basics unfortunately, i wasn’t able to play even a decent do-re-mi. in korea, the curriculum requires each student to learn at least one musical instrument. eun-a knew how to play the piano too. her brother, eun-jo, play the cello. a very cool combination eh?

learning how to play the piano and guitar is so much easier. don’t be fooled by the violin’s small size and four strings. it has no frets like the guitar, so your fingers must be dead precise along its head or else, nothing will come out of it but a vibrating noise. i had so much fun with the bow. who would have thought that what runs along its length is actually a lock of hair from a horse’s mane? how could a lock of hair produce a sound? The hair glides against the strings to produce a sound. You also need to mov
e the bow at certain angles to strike notes. crap.

another thing that i love about violin is how it is played with such elegance and grace. i know it’s quite hard to play with your chin anchoring the instrument all the time (and probably suffer from stiff necks), but if someone could pull it off, it’s definitely a turn on. hehehe! definitely requires superb skill and talent.

i first saw lucia micarelli in josh groban’s concert at the greek theater and she blew me away in a heartbeat. besides the fact the she could rock any musical event with her astounding talent, she’s also really pretty. somehow, she reminds me of kristin kreuk. (i’d die if kristin plays the violin:p). one cool thing about lucia is that she plays with bare feet! bloody cool eh? hehe! you could see the emotion etched on her face while she plays and even hear the intermittent deep breaths she takes. i just love her. hays. watch her as she rock the house down, playing bohemian rhapsody :)

by the way, the allergies came back. my sleeping pattern is severely impaired as of the moment (coffee aside). i am now bombarding myself with anti-histamines, hoping they could lull me to sleep. once again, my hands seemed to have lives of their own, scratching every itch of my body and eager to peel my body off its skin, already raw and red, screaming in pruritic agony.


Anonymous said...

i tried alot of times to learn how to play the violin but unfortunately, my attempts were all futile and i felt bad. haha.

mas madali nga ang guitar. i dunno sa piano coz i havent tried it yet.

dam-dam said...

dati, me crush ako na biyolinista.

la lang. share.

dabo said...

i tried learning the guitar..
ayun..i tried lang hehehe

--- --

hey take care of yourself.. please.. okay.. hindi ako sakitin na tao.. except for occasional flu or cold, and lately bronchitis... but your last words remind me of someone.. he literally pour hot water on his hand because of the pain (i was aghast and very sorry coz there was nothing i can do about it and i was not even near) .. sigh.. always take care of yourself.

i think mas malalim ka mag-isip kesa sa amin..take time to free your mind too..

have a great day dude!

joaqui_miguel said...

Violins are very classy, I think. It would be nice if they put it in our curriculum as well that we Filipinos need to learn how to play even one instrument.

By the way, hope you are feeling better now. No more itch I hope. :)

Mugen said...

Violin is a very cool musical instrument. I think one of my cousins know how to play it.

So mahilig ka pala sa New Age? Do you dig Enya?

Mr. Scheez said...

Wow, same here. I soooo wanted to play the violin too =)

kendi said...

i too, have been wishing to learn how to properly squeak those strings. however, i was only up to "twinkle twinkle lil star." haha.

well, i guess i just have to congratulate for learning that. and i have to raise the white flag and make way for my lil sis, who, after all, has been known as "mozart's illegitimate daughter" (coz she plays the violin, piano, guitar, flute...etc, etc, etc). whew!

well, dreams are there for the taking. it's not yet too late for you to learn. :)

p.s. i draw and paint, write and read. hehe. not sure if the title "visual" artists would fit me though. but art is what i love. :)

nurse ka rin?

Bryan Anthony the First said...

new age...enya, i like enya

na vote kita sa emo thing


alex said...

frustration ko rin ang violin! hayz

but i never learned

my korean studes know how to play A LOT of musical instruments, kasama nga sa music class nila ang pagtugtog...


tinay patadyong said...

grrr. it's the sexiest instrument dammit. Pambie knows how to seduce the strings and her neck. :)

teach me bebe :P

i have this on and off relationship with the guitar and i play it when nobody's around. haha. im too conscious actually. the kahon is my bitch. im not proud of my musical side, but i want to be called a musicwhore. :D

great touch sa poetry ron. im glad to have met your space here since day 1 :)

Roland said...

ako guitar lang... and im dying to learn playing it... kso nga lang nagkakapilipit ang mga daliri ko everytime i hit the strings.

napapanganga ko pag tumutugtog yung isa kong pren... husay sa guitara!

REDLAN said...

palagi na alng akong fan sa mga ganito, sa singing, sa dancing, am always a fan of. kaya pala gusto mo matuto para makipagsabayan ka kay kristin. hehehe. siguro si ai-ai the best mag play ng violin no? hindi siya mangangawit. joke lang.

may allergy ka sa anong bagay o food?


Im not into violins really, but if it's guitar... damn! I want to learn it, pero saan ko naman iinsert yung time to learn guitar? haay...

the spool artist said...

the poem's very lyrical... and what better way to use the violin as a potent symbol? no instrument produces the same range of sadness and happiness as this.

i have a friend whose family are all renowned violin virtuosos, and this post truly reconnects those memories with them!

so sorry to hear about your allergies, ron. hope it goes away soon... maybe all it needs is the sound of a violin... maybe vanessa mae can help! :-)

Skron said...

Everything is hard to learn. Even if a guitar has frets you'd still push down hard or you'll get no sounds. The first time I played the guitar, my left hand was so swollen. Especially when I tried to to barre chords.

Oh, if you like violin sounds. Try listening to the Mahavishnu Orchestra. They're a fusion jazz-rock band in the 70s. The dual guitar/violin solos in their songs are a killer.

yoshke said...

Sobrang HOT para saken nung mga magaling magviolin at mag-cello. hihi. frustration ko kasi.

eli said...

sarap pumikit..habang nakikinig sa violin..parang nsa ibang dimension ka.

music ang frustration ko sa buhay..hehe kaya gang taga pakinig lang ako.

salingPUSA said...

lam mo---ako rin. sira bio clock ko these days. And I'm so bothered kasi it has been 4 straight days of irregular sleep. Kung kelan pagalaing na mga pimples lo. So, maybe what I am saying is that I know how you feel......I always toss and turn and scratch my body. hay buhay.

salingPUSA said...

I pride myself for knowing a lot of basic gen info but I honestly never heard of this violin bow, that it is made of hairs from horses. wow....and I think I also missed that you have a korean friend......

It was also my fantasy when I was young to learn how to play that instrument. My reason i s because of the feeling of royalty. parang pag marunong ka parang kang galing sa mayamang angkan ganun....i guess it really is hard to learn it. guitar nga hirap nako e....I have no talent for musical instruments I guess. Buti nalng I have good singing

haleyjames said...


...i miss you a lot, hope you'll come by this weekend, or pede rin naman na ako ang dumaan jan..hehe, pa-marathon ako ng tree hill.=)...

...did you have a haircut already? hihi, excited na ko.=)...

...i love you, muaah...


RONeiluke, RN said...

Joshmarie: aheheh! mahirap talaga matuto magviolin kapag matanda na. kelangan yata talaga eh bata at malambot pa ng mga buto mo.

i know basic guitars and keyboards. pero sobrang hirap kapag hindi ka marunong magbasa ng mga nota. ahehehe!

Dam dam: violinists could rock! ahehe! so anong nangyari sa crush mo?

Dabo: i know the guitar basics pero mahirap nga. kelangan tlaga may kalyo ka. hehe!

thanks a lot :) grabe naman yung friend mo. tsk tsl iba talaga when desperation pushes us to our limits. no way na buhusan ko ng mainit na tubig ang mga kamay ko. uhmm... i prefer mutilation! haha!

you think i'm deep? hehehe! i think otherwise. it's hard to free one's mind when he's going crazy. i hate allergies T_T

take care, mate :)

joaqui Miguel: i agree. but i think violins will just be a nuisance to students already busy on their studies...

i don't feel any better... i'm going crazy T_T

mugen: yeah. i love enya. she was really helpful back in HS and college when directing plays and speech choir competitions. :)

mr. scheez: napakaclassy kasi. Astig!

Kendi: playing 'twinkle2 little star' in violin is an achievement already! ahehehe!

WOAH! your sister is really talented. perhaps the right side of her brain is a little bit larger than the left. joke! hehehe!

oh my gosh... i draw and paint too... write and read... and i'm a registered nurse. just passed by boards last june.

it was nice meeting you. parang crush na yata kita. hehehe!

peace out!

Bryan: yeah. i dig enya. she was very useful when i used to direct speech chorales and plays back in HS and college. hehe!

anong season ka na ba ng GA? im halfway of season 4. :)

you're into classics pala. never been patient reading tolkien. hehe!

ei, nagreply kana po ba dun sa email ni karmi? kelangna po kasi yun for your vote to be valid. again, thanks a lot :)

Alex: so teacher ka pala ng mga koreans. english lang ba or lahat? pareho kayo ni saling pusa. hehehe! my bf haley teaches also, online...

Tinay: pareho tayo... on and off din ako when it comes to playing the guitar. i started playing when i was ten... i know the basics but i'm definitely not a guitar god. hehehe! hey, you sing very well!!! i hate you! hehehe! i'll check the link. thanks!

i love the violin!

Roland: i know basic guitars kaya lang matagal na din akong hindi nakakahawak ng gitara. astig kasi ang tunog. very acousic :)

kapag nakaduet ko si kristin kreuk na magviolin, tatalon na talaga ako ng building! hahaha!

hindi ko nga alam eh kung ano yung nagcause ng allergy T_T

KJ: i know basic guitars. but it's been a long time since the last time i played. hehehe! try to learn. perhaps it could save you from your forced existence. hehehe!

Spool artist: thanks mate :)

my allergies seem to get worse. if vanessa mae could help me, i'll definitely dig her music. but i'd prefer lucia micarelli if i have an option. hehehe!

i'll wait for your next misadventure :)

skron: kelangan yata talagang mangyari yun at magkakalyo to consider yourself a decent guitar player. no pain no gain! hehehe!

thanks for the info mate :) i'll definitely check them out! weee!

peace out!

yoshke: hot! I agree! Hehehe!

Eli: oo nga eh… being lost in certain music is like daydreaming. Mapapangiti ka na lang. hehehe!

Saling pusa: sana naman makatulog na tayo ng maayos.

Cool eh. I’m surprised to. I thought she was kidding. Marami akong Korean friends because my tita use to teach Koreans and she introduces me to her students.

Mahirap naman talaga yata lahat. Kelangan ng tiyaga at pacenxa. Hehehe! Pero kapag natuto ka. I know basic guitars, keyboards at flute (yung bamboo! Haha) pero mahirap talaga. Violins are classy kaya siguro ganun ang feeling.. hehehe!

RONeiluke, RN said...

hales! i would love to come by! miss na rin kita. isang episode lang ng tree hill nsakin. hingi ulit ako kay kuya...

nako hindi pa ako nagpagupit. ayaw ni nanay ni papa at lahatng nasa bahay. tinakot talaga nila ako and their arguments make sense T_T...

help me :(

kelangan samahan mo ko! hehehe!

i love you, miss you! mwah!

haleyjames said...

...luke, should have gone to the barber shop before spilling ur plans with the rest of your family, hehe! di naman na nila mababalik un pag nakapagpagupit ka na.=P...

...pero kung ako talaga tatanungin, u'l look good with that. hate to say this pero.."sexy". hahahaha! you know me...

...samahan kita kung nakapagdecide ka na, sabihin mu lang,=)...

...tree hill man o wala, punta ko, food trip tayo,=)...


TENTAY™ said...

hey hey hey!!! pareho tayo.. i love violin. kaso piano ang pinagaralan ko. pero gusto ko padin mag violin ang shoshal tignan... and parang damang dama mo kasi close to your heart. heheheh.


Chyng said...

the only instrument im good at is the CALCULATOR.. sigh*


please check "escala" in youtube. You will love them.

RONeiluke, RN said...

hales: yun nga ang original na plano ko kaya lang nung nahiwalay kayo sakin parang the thought felt stupid na. ayun. hehehe!

sige, samahan moko magpagupit sa sunday! so you really think its sexy? i thought so too! haha! parang wentworth miller talaga! ahahaha!

sige! i love food trips! ahehehe!

i love you! mwah!

ps: ano yung "selos ako" na message sa YM?

tentay: so you play the piano? cool :) i want to learn how to play the piano. i knowbasic keyboards i mean really basic :) galing :)

classy nga ang violins. and the sounds are so haunting :)

chyng: have you tried playing the guitar?. medyo madali xang pagaralan kumpara sa iba. kelangan tlga dedicated ka and prepared na magkakalyo :)

KJ: escala? ok i'll check it out :)

how's everythin, KJ?

kendi said...

i think it's quite an achievent too, and to have myself play it at school, well.. haha. kapal ng mukha ko nun.

we sure have a lot of things in common. crush? naks...

ex links? :)

dedpish said...

i know how to ply the violin :)

actually, di sya sa chin bandang lower jaw lang :D

pero piano talaga ung forte ko, been playing it for almost 6 years.napagtripan lang ung violin,gusto ko talaga cello ang mahal nga lang.haha.

mas madaling i-master un violin kesa sa piano.well, pero parang parehas lang.anlabo.basta.haha!


RONeiluke, RN said...

wow..may pianistang dumalaw sa site ko! astig@ :)

ahh...i see. thanks sa correction. ganun lang talaga kapag pure artist ano. magaling sa kahit anong mapagtripan. hehehe! already linked you up...