the deleted comment

A KICK-ASS BLOGGER from my roll posted a comment on my previous post entitled, end; he asked me to delete the comment, and somehow i understood why. i was taken aback at first, for some reasons, but after reading it for the nth time, i decided to copy it and save it on my flash drive. there’s something to learn about it, i thought. and there was. good thing i made a copy and i decided to make a post about it. the following is an excerpt from the deleted comment:

Ron,

PLEASE Delete this comment:

talk to your friends..

that is one the best thing you could do.. and if you feel really emotional, cry for pete sake but please don't cry for the next thousand years or people will make crazy urban legends about you

and lastly just a piece of an advice, this works for me.. i don't know with others if you feel like writing your emotional status (most people find it therapeutic) then scribble it on paper or play your fingers on the keyboard... write so hard even if it bleeds

pero hanggang maari keep it private until you regain some control and senses about what you are writing.

then you can post it some other time (it can be an hours after mo binuhos ang sama ng loob mo, it doesn't have to count days) and you may choose not to edit it, so the truth of your moment is still essentially there.. once posted it will act as reminder and another enrichment of literature from you.

this in turn will protect you from craving attention and pity.. whether you are conscious about it or not, but humans crave for attention, even when they are hurting.

talk to friends is still one of the best thing around.

anyway maybe i am taking this quite far.. and assume to talk too much without knowing the real situation.. and i do apologized na rin for raining on your parade. you use strong words kasi and its really heartfelt.

. . .

"this in turn will protect you from craving attention and pity.. whether you are conscious about it or not, but humans crave for attention, even when they are hurting..."

when i first read eat, it seemed like it was saying that i am seeking attention of some sort. my ego defended itself for a moment, but in the end i was able to keep an open mind. he had a point. i tried to ponder on these words and ask questions. perhaps i am seeking attention and craving for pity, for all the things that had been happening in my life lately. i cannot be totally sure, though, because there’s a possibility that i am just unaware of it. that the truth of me being an attention-seeker, perhaps, lies in the unconscious realm of my mind. i know myself but i also believe that one’s personality is a dynamic entity. a journey that involves independent and undergoes a continuous process of learning. i don’t understand my self at times (or most of the time) so i think it’s better to lay everything on the table.

i have friends to talk about problems, personal struggles, excitement… especially now that my best friend decided to come back and leave her boyfriend of an ass for good. But writing those feelings is different from verbally saying them. i do believe that the best way to resolve or at least lighten personal baggage is to share it with someone, a friend, a family, someone you can trust. someone with an ear that listens, a shoulder you can lean on, and a mouth that utters balming and enlightening words but sometimes, however, it seems easier to open up with a complete stranger than a person who knows you. to someone who doesn’t know you at all. i am quite amused by how people here perceive me not just as a writer, but as a person. i know my writing and my opinions are ways for other people here in the blogosphere to have a glimpse of who i am, but some conclusions towards me are really…uhmm…let’s say curious. i wonder what crazy urban legends would be made or have already been made about me. i’m planning to make a post about this one.

blogging for me has been really therapeutic. i am able to express my self in ways, exactly how i wanted myself to be expressed. it really excites me how feelings that are so abstract could be articulated into tangible words. i use to write an entry as soon as i get the inspiration or feel an extreme emotion, perhaps because i want to preserve the essence of my work. i don’t want my posts to be outdated either, sort of. this site serves as my training ground for my communication and creative writing skills. i am hesitant to author this site at first because i was thinking that no one would care to read it. who would want to have a piece of ron’s twisted mind? then, there were comments, and people adding me to their rolls, requesting exchange links. some people care for what i think, i thought, and that’s enough for me to be inspired.

again, dave, thank you so much for the advice (even though in psychology, giving one is considered unethical. hehe! fyi). you can count on me doing it. now, i can't quite understand why you wanted me to delete it, but i'm hoping you're not mad at me by making it as a post. to the readers and visitors who take time to read long entries, melancholic posts, stuff that don’t concern you and still manage to leave comments—i really appreciate it. thank you for all the compliments you have been giving. you make my stay here in the blogosphere so much fun…