You have not known what you are.
You have slumbered upon yourself all your life.
Your eyes have been as much as closed most of the time.
What you have done is already in mockeries.

The mockeries are not you.
Underneath them
And within them,
I see you lurk...


-Walt Whitman


1.9.08

the greatest story never told


I WAS LAZILY BROWSING on the contents of my pc last night until i stumbled upon this jpeg image. nostalgia hit me again like a big yellow school bus. memories could sometimes bite.


this was a remake of a painting i made when i was still attending junior high. the original was made using acrylic paint on canvas. it was entitled, to our secret place, after a book a i wrote. it took me less than a week to make it. this one, however, was made using MS Paint on my computer. only took me five hours to make this one, binging on burgers and ice cold cola whenever my eyes got tired or my wrist screamed of agony from acute carpal tunnel syndrome. i am quite comfortable using paint than adobe when making paintings like these. the texture was quite similar from that of oil pastels, which was my medium of choice when i was still in touch with my artistic side.

i gave the original painting to glad, the girl who gave me this painting. the painting she gave me was made using water color on canvas, and it still hangs on a wall in my room. as for the painting i gave her, i am really not sure. i could imagine it in a trash can right now or in a stinking dumpsite. perhaps it's all ashes now. broken. like the feelings she used to have for me. or maybe it's still with her. in her drawer. in a box under her bed. under her pillow? no. that would be impossible, because she had moved on already and i am glad she had.

of all the things i gave her including the books i wrote, the letters and the mixtape, the painting was the only one she decided to keep. she returned everything else when our relationship ended and i am glad she decided to keep it. at least there is something she still possess that could remind her of our story. of the dreams we had made using colors dancing on canvases. of the love i had tried to say using my bare hands. i hope the painting's still intact, unlike the love i used to forge such immortal art. her's still whole though. silent behind a glass, hanging on my wall. covered in dust...

---

"A writer is a keeper of memories..."
-- Mugen

36 comments:

Myk2ts said...

<~~speechless!

nice den yung quote ni mugen :)

FerBert said...

whoah!
sa paint lang ba talaga yan?

galing ah!

Leonardo said...

Wow, thats one hell of the sweetest thing i heard today. :O

salingPUSA said...

I don't know that you also have a talent in painting. Good in writing , good in painting. What else.......????
....talentado ka pala RON. Seriously, it is a good gift. To be able to express yourself in a different manner is a gift. i am sure you feel happy every time you create one. You are like a pro......

Neil Es2pido said...

Your post reminds me of my previous verbosity on my blog. *sigh* Feeling ko nagdeteriorate na ang aking blogging enthusiasm after all these sponsored posts I've been doing.

A nice post, this is. :D And oh, nice hands, too!

joaqui_miguel said...

Good job bro! Nice work! :)

Lance said...

I would rather patch up pictures and play with colors and effects in photoshope. I admire your creative side, emo nurse. This is incredible. Hindi rin biro na gawin to..

I can relate to your sentiments about those stuff which your X gave back to you. When I had that experience too, I threw all of them away sa trash. But my Mom picked them up and kept it inside a box and tucked it below my bed. I just can't forget it when my mom saw me (na nag emote2x) over those things she kept under my bed.

And you know what, I have already an agreement with my current GF na pagnaghiwalay kami, if ever, she will never give me back all the things I had given her. But she can throw it away if she wanted to..parang na trauma na kasi ako..hahaha

Roland said...

ang talentado mo naman... kakainggit!!! hahaha

but behind the subject painting, im more amazed with the story behind it. nakaka-emo mode.

have a nice day, mate!

tinay said...

aha, past relationships no matter how short-lived or over-consumed they were, they seem to have corners and pockets in our lives. beautiful artwork. i have no other adjectives to describe it. :) i guess "beautiful" is the simplest term with an in-depth essence. :)

my room owns stories i wished to abort before, the walls and the frames pierced me in those days. but later i realized they must not be thrown or returned. museums are made because the very reason in my heart. listen to it and you'll find out. :D

Keitaro Hanazawa said...

Ang ganda ng painting! Go channel your artistic side! :)

jeepneyJOYride said...

...hehehe!

..pede bang mag upload ng voice file dito?Ü

..wait till you hear RON's voice, combo na talaga talent niyan!

..just don't make him dance.=)

..hays, luke, i miss her too.

Abou said...

sana marunong din ako mag paint kagaya mo. nakaka inggit naman. kung hindi man ako marunong, sana me kumuha sa kin na model sa painting nila, kahit nude. he he biro lang.

RONeiluke, RN said...

wahehe! thanks hales for bragging me and insulting me at the same time! hahaha!

wow. thanks you dropped by. pwede magupload nasubukan ko na kaya lang tinanggal ko ulet...hehe! iba boses ko kapag live at pag recorded. i prefer it live. hahaha! ano be? wag moko bukuhin na talentado! haha! i'm trying hard to be modest here.hehe!

hays, naalala ko lang xa. kaw musta? i miss you so much. how's your review. hope you're making alot of progress...

i love you, mwah!

napundingalitaptap said...

wala, tinapon na yun....

wahahahahha (evil grin)

pang-asar, anyway, nagulat ako, MAIKSI, hindi ka si ron..ilabas mo si roooooooooon!!!

ahaha!

jeepneyjoyride said...

..hehe, lagi naman akong andito.=) pede na kameng mag-open ng blogs and i have ways na din to open my YM.

..kaso aalis na ko ngaun, bukas na mahabang reply..=)

..i love you too, luke.=)

Lance said...

@ron:
Hindi photoshape! It's Adobe Photoshop. Actually na mispell ko lang to photoshoppe -- parang penshoppe. hehehehe
talented ka pala..cge post ka naman ng recording mo para marinig namin..

in some weird way pa talaga ang pagbigay nya? ang sakit naman non.. tsk tsk tsk... cguro galit2x xa sa iyo nun noh? sakin din nagalit xa and worst is she had me go to her house, saying she just wanna give something speacial. I was thinking na baka last special gift nya sa akin, but yung mga things pala na binigay ko ang ibabalik rin nya... it's ridiculous, aight??


I tagged you! Answer rin yun ha!

Leyn said...

tats ako. ang sad... pero parang you're full of happy memories. ;)

wanderingcommuter said...

pareho tayo, mas komportable ako sa paint kesa photoshop. hehehe!

check mine under visual craft tags!

kalansaycollector said...

iba nga naman nagagawa ng pagmamahal. ;)

Aris said...

sure ako, nakatabi pa rin ang makulay ninyong alaala sa kanyang puso. :)

rn na, writer and painter pa! galing mo, ron! :)

dazedblu said...

Whew, that's nice huh.. a drape of efforts. Actually tried trenching stuff in paint before, but I mostly enjoy scribbles of brushes.

Hmmmm, lately [I] noticed a lot of my blogger mates have this creative side in 'em. XD

RONeiluke, RN said...

wooooww! ang galing naman! pwede na kayong magopen ng blogs at YM?!! cool! sige. kwentuhan mo na lang ako if you have time. di ka na din nagtetext kaya dito mo na lang ako i-message.ahehe... :)

i miss you hales...

hope the you're review's going well. malapit na boards NIYO! weeeeeeee!!!

Fjordan Allego said...

galing galing naman..

yung story... sobrang totoo.. pag nakatingin ka sa painting na yan.. parang ang sarap balikan ng lahat... ng nakaraan... so refereshing.. kahit na ang masakit dun.. hindi na maibabalik ang nakaraan..

**eemote emote naman ako, as if nakakarelate hehehe..

http://fjordz-hiraya.blogspot.com

RONeiluke, RN said...

ei, leyn..thanks for dropping by. salamat sa comment. maraming happy memories. pero unfortunately maraming ding sad :)

leviuqse said...

painting!!! is there anything you can't do?

kinilig ako, i dunno why????

mrs.j said...

hmmm..

siya pla..

akala ko...

:(

redlan said...

it's cool for you marunong ka magpaint paint sa pc. ako hindi. hehehe. maganda i-keep ang painting kasi may effort at labor of love talaga. yung mga love letters from someone, sinunog ko na yun. afterall, hindi na totoo ang nakasaad dun.

_ice_ said...

wow!!! love it..

two thumbs up...

so sweet....

Anonymous said...

tama. this story wasn't meant to be told...nagspre-spread to ng kalungkutan. tsk,tsk,tsk(affected).

ba't feeling ko medyo hoping ka pa rin. haha.

may practical side ang pagtatago ng painting. baka maging artist ka kaya sumday at biglang magmahal yung paintings mo, ano.

:D. talagang nag-iisip ang mga babae ng pang longterm.

hehe.

bena said...

i love this post ron! though it's a flashback of a quite sad story, the things you've done for that girl is major kilig.. weeeee.. hihihi.. and in fairness, artistic ka pala ha.. ikaw ba talaga ang gumawa ng painting na un?.. hmmmm... hahaha!

vi-a-v!

RONeiluke, RN said...

ahehe... xenxa naman if it made you feel sad. im comfortable posted this because these are all in the past already. kaya i'm not hoping na bumalik yun. wait. mahirap magsalita ng tapos. hehe! let me reflect on this ha? ehehe! waaaa! sana nga tama. para mayaman na ako in the future! ahehe!

can i assume you're a guy?

RONeiluke, RN said...

anonymous: ahehe... xenxa naman if it made you feel sad. im comfortable posted this because these are all in the past already. kaya i'm not hoping na bumalik yun. wait. mahirap magsalita ng tapos. hehe! let me reflect on this ha? ehehe! waaaa! sana nga tama. para mayaman na ako in the future! ahehe!

can i assume you're a guy? :) peace out!

Talk On Corners Photos said...

wow ang bongga ng pag kakagawa. nag aral din ako b4 kaso wala nang time para igihin eh. by the way -- I LOVE THE NARUTO BACKGROUND MUSIC---

Talk On Corners Photos said...

.

Talk On Corners Photos said...

oh well pag nakita mo ang orig pic nya i'm not sure kung masabi mo na purrteh sha---- bad.


nah nice sha.

yep habang nag eedit ako ng pic yan ang background music ko.

painting ..

Ely said...

nice painting. it reminds me of my being a frustrated painter...