i had to wake up soon
or let death take me with eyes open,
gazing up the stars we used to catch.
i have to break my hands off
for my palms could still feel yours holding them.
i have to gouge out my eyes from my head
for they can still see the fireflies,
for they can still see you.
i had to amputate my feet
or else i won’t stop walking.
alone, along this broken road of loving hearts.
let me leap as high as i could,
shaking away the thorns your tongue placed under my skin.
i need some noise tonight
to drown away the songs that aren’t mine.
i need to stitch my lips close
using your rusted needle and my own heartrings.
no more love songs for you.
i’ll drown myself in the rain
as cold bullets of water numb my spirit
from your arms ‘round me that aren’t there,
let it freeze this heart that won’t stop beating
for a memory as vivid as a shadow in the dark.
i have dug the ground
i have carved the tombstone
engraved names using the bones of my remaining limbs
what flowers do you like?
dead lilies for you, white roses for me.
i see myself sleeping
and slowly losing breath.
someone please wake me up
for tonight has become a nightmare
and reality a joke that don’t deserve my smile.
it’s the perfect time
to finally let go of the rope
of which one end you once held.
time to strip my body off this flesh
and decaying skin you made me wear.
i am naked for all eyes to see
and after tonight i’ll be free
tomorrow i will wake up
and try to walk without feet,
see without eyes and live, free of shackles and chains.
any moment now till sunrise
the time has come to rest the soul that feeds on days past;
the emaciated soul, as feeble as your love.
an alarm went off breaking the silence as thick as glass
as sunlight danced in front of me
five, four, three, two, one,
and i am still standing but now awake.