awake

THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME

to end the haunting dream.

i had to wake up soon

or let death take me with eyes open,

gazing up the stars we used to catch.

i have to break my hands off

for my palms could still feel yours holding them.

i have to gouge out my eyes from my head

for they can still see the fireflies,

for they can still see you.

i had to amputate my feet

or else i won’t stop walking.

alone, along this broken road of loving hearts.

let me leap as high as i could,

shaking away the thorns your tongue placed under my skin.

i need some noise tonight

to drown away the songs that aren’t mine.

i need to stitch my lips close

using your rusted needle and my own heartrings.

no more love songs for you.

i’ll drown myself in the rain

as cold bullets of water numb my spirit

from your arms ‘round me that aren’t there,

let it freeze this heart that won’t stop beating

for a memory as vivid as a shadow in the dark.

i have dug the ground

i have carved the tombstone

engraved names using the bones of my remaining limbs

what flowers do you like?

dead lilies for you, white roses for me.

i see myself sleeping

and slowly losing breath.

someone please wake me up

for tonight has become a nightmare

and reality a joke that don’t deserve my smile.

it’s the perfect time

to finally let go of the rope

of which one end you once held.

time to strip my body off this flesh

and decaying skin you made me wear.

i am naked for all eyes to see

and after tonight i’ll be free

tomorrow i will wake up

and try to walk without feet,

see without eyes and live, free of shackles and chains.

any moment now till sunrise

the time has come to rest the soul that feeds on days past;

the emaciated soul, as feeble as your love.

an alarm went off breaking the silence as thick as glass

as sunlight danced in front of me

five, four, three, two, one,

and i am still standing but now awake.